Oh Lord, your words are so wonderfully perfect this morning. I have just completed my day 5 of Believing God week 3. This lesson rang so true to my soul and I just want to ask you that you cause it to sink even deeper into my soul. Oh Lord, I have so many emotions right now and I just want to make sure I hear clearly from you and glorify you in all that.
I learned this morning about all the wonderful talking Jesus did about John the Baptist. This was a man that was "devoted" - that word doesn't even do justice - to Christ and His ministry from before birth. Remember John jumping in Elizabeth's tummy when Mary walked in the room carrying Jesus gestationally? The Spirit of the Lord was all over this man from the word GO! Oh how i just love that. John the Baptist abandoned all for the sake of Christ and His ministry. Fast forward to the end - he was beheaded. What ????- after all he had done for the kingdom he gets beheaded? We were in the scriptures this morning - all over the place - Matt. 11, John 1, Daniel 3, James 1, and Col. 1 as well.
John got the ultimate test. He had served wholeheartedly - greater than any other human i would say the scripture confirms - and yet finds himself sitting in prison asking the questions we all have murmured or at least thought. "God if you are so big and powerful, why are you not coming through for me right here? God if you are who you say you are - how about being that and showing off? God after all I have done, and we have come to this?" Awful, ugly, repulsive, terrible thoughts, but i would venture to say we have all been there. Basically we have said to God - You are offending me.
There is a situation in my life at this moment that I want God to come through for me so bad i can hardly stand it. I desire to have something so much. I have asked Him for it, I have asked to receive it from heaven - the loosing and binding deal - I have told Him this is my desire, I have begged Him to see things my way. But last night as my friend Tracy from Geogia, www.tracyhurst.com, encouraged me to read Ps. 16 i had to pray - Oh Lord, release me from my desires. Protect me from my desires. Take away my desires and make me more like you. I can not tell you God's 100% will in this situation. I can tell you what I think, I can tell you what signs i have seen, I can tell you that God can do this - But I don't know if He will! He can, I don't know if He will!
So this lesson comes just at the perfect time. One of the questions was - has there been a time that you were offended by God or at least tempted to be? God is asking me - Have I offended you? Are you going to be offended if this doesn't come through? I must answer with all my heart and honesty. Oh Lord, I do want this and I do think it would be best, but more than anything I know that I can not see down the road. I know that I can not see further than the last breath i just took. Only You can and I trust that. I trust that You do know best. I trust that You have never offended me in the past. I trust that You are my protector and my redeemer. Lord, I beg You to ultimately protect me from me. You move in any way you think is best and I will praise Your name. Either way I will praise. I still believe and I will not quit believing, but I want your favor and blessing and protection - from me! I am excited to see the best come to fruition and Your plan revealed. I trust, I believe, I will never stop loving! 
7 comments:
Your desires are obvious... you want God's will! What a beautiful women in christ you are!
I pray daily, Lord move me out of your way! Let the Holy spirit use me today, let my body be a vessel. Let my smile be Your light.
Thank you for your ever so honest posts. They truly bless me each day! Even if it's not something that effects me at the moment I know God will use that post to remind me later when I am in that place.
Have a blessed day!
PS... did you want me to mail that DVD back or is that mine to share with others? THANKS!
Beautiful reading your heart here...it ministered to me.
I LOVE this... and this is RIGHT on...
no one said being a Christian was going to be easy.. but some where... people sign on and start looking for the limo... urkkkk NOT...
I have always struggled with that too,, poor John, served Jesus, ate bugs and for what.. to get his head cut off.. but I bet he's got it made now...
I did pray though--- God,,, I'm ok with everything but having my head cut off....
blessings..
I love the believing God study and learned so much through doing it.
By the way, thank you for forwarding my info to Dori and Patty. They both are using my hotel rooms - yeah!!
I have one left if you know of anyone else :)
Oh did I mention the t-shirt idea to you?
I think a bunch of us siestas are going to wear lime green t-shirts with SIESTAS and the LPM scripture onthe front with (maybe) our blog name on the back.
Would you be interested?
Much love,
Kim
I'm praying for you because I know how hard it is to constantly make sure that we're seeking what God wants and something that we want. I hope your having a great week so far!
Offended is such a harsh word. Though often I do question His love for me. Not that I am deserving of it or ever will be, but just that I desire to be close to Him and struggle to attain that. He's like friends seem to be...always there for the good times, but hard to find when you're going through stuff. Well, sometimes the stuff never ends, and He seems so far away. I don't know what must have been going through John's mind, but it's easy to assume he thought like most of us would. I am always in awe at how he handled his last days and like to think his question to Jesus had deeper meaning like:
tell me all this is worth it...that there is a reason for the life I've lived, that it wasn't for not...I'm starting to doubt...help me hang on.
In a way, I believe there is something to be said for those who expect Him to come through...their faith is high...and when their expectations are not realized, there is always next time, or they are ok to say it just wasn't meant to be. For the non-expectant, many times we just end up asking Him "have I offended You?"
Leigh - that is such a powerful post. I needed to read this tonight.
Do I go my own way, want my own will. Or do I trust God in all and everything He puts in motion.
I think you just confirmed that I need to go through this Bible study of "Believing God" again. But I think I will order the book first.
Thank you for blessing my heart and soul tonight.
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