Lord Jesus - you have asked me to do something, but I just don't want to. Honestly, that is the bottom line for me. I just don't want to. I know, how could I say that to You, my Savior, but it is true, I just don't want to. This is not a situation where I am wondering if God wants me to do this particular thing - i am very aware of what He is asking.
Yesterday as I was going about my day and constant talk with You Lord, I asked - am i being rebellious? Is this the kind of thing that will cause much discipline? Most importantly the Lord just relayed back to me - It just breaks my heart, Leigh. You are refusing to obey in this area and it breaks my heart. It is not so much about discipline although you know that I love you and so I must discipline, but You are breaking my heart over this minuscule thing and I have so much more for you!! We have to get through this!!
Oh Lord - it just seems so silly. I know it just between you and I, but still. I know I sound like a junior high kid, but Lord Jesus! This morning in my devotion you wrote the words and had them jump out at my on the page - "Chose today to not rebel any longer." Holy cow - could you get any more specific and any more clear?? I mean did You have to use that same word I had just used in my own prayer? Lord, you are so clear and I thank you for that!! I want to know your will and do your will without question - hello - you are so clear!!!
My scripture for today is James 4:17 - another confirmation.... "To one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin" Ouch!!
Lord, I will walk in obedience. I will choose to line myself up with the favor of the Lord by saying yes to your ways. Lord, I will do as you ask regardless of what I want to do or even feel like I should do. Lord, I want your ways in my life. I want to follow you even in the smallest of things. Lord, I want to go down in your book as faithful and a fighter for what you want in my life. Not fighting against you, but on your team!! I choose to obey and for me that is JOY!!! I love you, Lord. Thank you for loving me enough to ask certain things in my life!!
We are almost all moved in. Kids start the new school today - nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SJ lost her first tooth last night! She was so proud! Me too!
4 comments:
Obedience is usually not what we "want" is it sweet friend?
Tell SJ Congrats on the tooth! Hope school goes well for them all!
Love ya.
V
Hey Leigh,
I don't only think that God is speaking to you but I believe He is also speaking to me. I don't know what His call for you is but mine is crazy! My heart pounds thinking of it all, but I have started the process, not easy, not as quick as he probably would want but I will never stop trying to achieve the things he's called me for. Praying that it brings Him all the glory! That truly brings me joy! Praying for you please pray for me. Thank you, see you in March.
I am feeling the same struggle with obedience. WOW the scriptures you shared certainly open my eyes today. Thanks for sharing. I found your blog through Ginger. Blessings!
Oh, sweet friend! How God is calling all so many of us to the same things!!!!! Starting last week in my Beth Moore study, God started working on the idea of obedience. Since then, my dear friend and prayer partner have had several conversations about it and then with my Monday night study- same thing! One thing that God has reminded me is that there is joy in obedience!!! Sure, the initial flesh rebels, but God is good- He gives us a way of escape- 1Corin. 10:13. And, when I get my flesh out of the way, there is so much joy and peace doing it His way!!!! (And, I kick myself in the behind for doing it my way for so long!)
The word God is using with me is SURRENDER. He is calling me to surrender every area to Him in general(and been working in a few specific areas to surrender).
I love what my friend prayed, "Lord, I am willing to be made willing." I love that! And, of course, she knows it was so profound it came right from the Holy Spirit!
Bless you, dear one! I will be praying for you, and please be praying for me!
Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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