699 - Who's on top?

** Southern Illinois, but really anyone with Internet***  Go check out 90.9 www.wvyn.org  

This is a new christian radio station in this area that is going to rock!!  They are having their second Sonic Flood concert very soon!  It is only available by Internet at this time, but please go check it out and take a few seconds to leave them a message.  This is such a blessing for this area!   

Good morning Jesus!  Our weekend went so fast I am not sure I actually remember what we did.  We also were off school on Monday so it is really going to make the week go fast.  I am excited though because I have to speak on Saturday which is always a blessing to me.  I am still working everyday as a teacher and find it quite fun.  Very exhausting, but fun!   

This morning i was in Luke again - chapter 22, towards the end.  I read about Jesus going before the courts and them demanding He tell them He is the Son of God.  That was all they had against him!  I love how the Lord answered them - you tell me who you say i am....  It was like even though their hearts would not allow them to believe he wanted them to say it with their own words who He says He is........... for it to come out of their own mouths... in any form!  

I had 2 thoughts about this passage.  #1 Have you ever had anyone put words in your mouth.  You make a statement and then you are told that what you said actually was something different than what came out.  You know what you said, but it was interpreted as something different.  Even as far as you trying to back up and explain yourself and because those were the words that came out - you are held to those words and anything else will not be accepted.  I have found myself in that position - not a fun one.  Bottom line we are accountable for whatever words come out of our mouths whether we meant them or not.  Or whether we thought them through or not.  Jesus meant His words, but He kind of turned it on the council of elders.  "They asked, 'Are you the Son of God?'"  Jesus replied, "You are right in saying I am."  

I can hear them saying - that is not what i said.  I was just asking a question.  Don't turn this on me like i was the one to proclaim who you say you are...........  I wonder if those words, that very question echoed in their hearts and mind on the day of their own death not just His death.   I am sure this whole situation AND the fact that they could not find anything else against Him made them even the angrier.  

#2 I see here that we have the beginning of a power struggle or a pride struggle - if there is any difference...  Another bottom line is that Jesus was claiming to be the Messiah and they didn't like it.  He had proclaimed it the whole time, but had backed it up with many, many miracles, signs, and wonders!  There was no doubt He had done some really crazy stuff - we churchy people call miracles - and was one to watch.  On top of all that - He had people that were willing to leave everything and follow................. unto death!  For those that might have been striving for the same thing this was a problem.  It still is today.......... those wanting to be God and those simply wanting to be on top.  

Wanting to be God - I don't think that is something that I have tried to attain...... I struggle with myself too much to ever think i could control everything else.  But wanting to be on top, now been there done that.  But God - what a work He has done in my life.  RECENTLY!  

Just within the last few weeks I went through a time of wondering if I had any significance.  Yes, Cara, a huge struggle for me.  When my eyes begin to wonder on outcome of things I am doing there begins to be a real problem.  When the comparison game begins there  is a problem.  When I begin to wish for something different there is a problem.  

I wonder if this was some of the feelings of those that began the process of putting Jesus to death.  Thoughts like...... man, look at all that guy is doing and how many people want to be with him.  Look at how if he puts his hand in it, it turns to gold.  Look at what i have done in my life compared to him.  Look at my pitiful self and all the great things he is doing.  And he has a good attitude.  We have got to get rid of this guy - he makes me feel bad.  

Oh Father - I praise you for the work you have done in my heart recently with significance.  I thank you for the influence of my mom and dad, pastor, and hubby that help me to see things correctly.  I thank you for allowing me to see the spiritual war going on.  I thank you that you have called me to a greater level of trust with you.  I thank you for the blessings - too many to count and lest i take try to take any significance in them or take any pride like i was in any of it - that you allowed to come forth.  

I do find my love and worth in you.  I have to - nothing else, and i have tried it, works.  You are so peaceful and forgiving.  You are so lovely and joyful.  You are so soft and encouraging.  You are so trusting and faithful.  Father - I want to exalt YOU not what you do through me.  Part of giving You glory is sharing completely my ups and downs.  I do want to be transparent.  Your work in my life is never ending!  Your work in my heart is always proceeding....  you are never done and I thank you that you never stop!  Lord, I want to be on top of my love for You.  Lord, I want to be on top of my shout for forgiveness.  I want to be on top of walk of faith.  Nothing else, my Lord.  Hide me Father - behind You!!  Protect me from me!!!  Exalt YOU!