Wednesday, February 17, 2010

805 - It is NOT me

I have arrived at my parents house to stay for the week. It is so nice to be here and see all they each are having to do in this new life. Mom is constantly up and doing. Dad is constantly doing when mom gets him up! They both have such an active role in this new game......and it changes often!

I went to therapy with both mom and dad today. Dad had PT at 8am and OT at 9am and mom had her own PT at 9am as well. It is so nice that they are at the same place and the therapists are trying so hard to make it the easiest on them! From all the way in Illinois, I certainly appreciate that!

Dad does incredibly well in PT. He walked with a cane and 2 assistants today. I even have it on tape...........but I don't know how to put it on here! Plus i filmed it sideways so it might make you sick anyway. ha But his leg has just made leaps and bounds! His shoulder, arm, and hand are a whole 'nother story. We have seen very little progress at all. There is some, but it takes every muscle on all sides of his body to make the tiniest of movement. BUT there is some!!!!!

We finally got done with therapy, made it to the car, situated him, put the wheelchair away, and warmed up and dad said, "I know yall think my arm is moving, but it isn't. It is all her. I am not doing a thing." Of which we quickly jumped on him to remind him that no he can't shoot a ball yet - and doesn't really need that hand so much to shoot - but the arm is making improvements! It is changing and it is getting better. But again he replied in disgust and a bit of laughter too, "Yall just don't know. I can't feel a thing and she is the one that is making it do that stuff."

Ding, I heard the bell go off I was sure everyone else heard as well. It was my Holy Spirit DING - Leigh, I am speaking to you and you need to listen up! Yes, Lord!!!

There are countless times I have asked myself why certain people want to be my friend, why ones want to follow me on twitter or facebook, or why someone would want to hang out!! I know the real me and it ain't always pretty. I mean there usually is not much goodness around! I mean I have to try hard not to succumb often to my own ways, thoughts, actions, words, opinions, etc........ I fight hard to not let all that out all the time!!! So why would anyone want to be my friend, etc.

Just as my dad says it is all the therapist doing his movements and it is nothing of him - that is me!! It is nothing of me that one would want to befriend! It is nothing in me that one would want to know more about. There is nothing in me that is good. If it were all up to me, i would die of selfishness!!

But no - it is all HIM!!!! any good one sees in me is Him!! Any good I can muster is the love of Christ He has implanted in my heart!! It is not me at all - it is all Him! People want the part of Jesus that can be seen from time to time - when I submit! I am doing nothing too, Dad!! It is all Him. BUT - i know you are doing some of it!!! You are doing so good!! I love you Dad!

Thank you Father for working in me!! Thank you for shining through me so that others are drawn to you! Thank you for loving me and not giving up. Thank you for your patience and discipline. Thank you for being greater in me than the me in me! I love you, Lord!!


Angie said...

This is truly a reflection of my own heart. I have very few friends and often i wonder why they would desire to be my friend. Any good and perfect gift is from Christ. May He continue to mold me.

Yankee Mama said...

Great post Leigh!

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

thanks yall!! thank you for the encouragement!! so good to hear from you!