Wednesday, March 03, 2010

811 - I Want to die

Just got a call from a friend whose friend just called her with the word you never want to be spoken by anyone - "I want to die! I hate God, I don't want Him in my life, He has abandoned me". She asked how to respond and I felt compelled to share... It is not something that I have not shared before, but just think the Lord is saying it is appropriate again... Here were my words to her!

While there is very little positives in this situation I am very thankful that although she is mad at God, she doesn't deny His existence!! Truly that is a good and positive thing. God can work regardless of what we think about Him, but I am encouraged that she does realize there is something bigger than her and she knows who it is!

One of my favorite passages in the Word is Ps. 143 because I am an emotional woman that likes to express my drama and sometimes I even (often) throw a fit!! I will try to be brief and pray the Holy Spirits allows what needs to internalized in your heart to relay to hers...

Look at verses 1-4 - David is being blunt level honest with the Lord and is truly having a fit! He is expressing that he is sick of the way things are and that he feels very abandoned. He is also saying that he needs help, but doesn't feel like it is coming! Notice in verse 3 and 4 where David's focus is - HIMSELF, ME!!!!! Over and over, i think 7 times, he proclaims something that is wrong about this situation and how it hurts him!!! over and over!!!

I think the important thing is to let your friend know that we can have a fit and we can talk about all the yuck we don't like going on in our lives, but with respect, but with boldness. God is the One we should be able to admit our dislikes, how we feel cheated, and how we feel like we have been given the shaft!!! He is the one, if anyone, we can boldly throw a fit with!

Then look at verse 5 and 6. - I am not sure if these verses were written just minutes after the ones before or even if it was 3 months after - the point is there has been a miracle. The miracle of seeing the focus change. I know for myself it is an act of God, a miracle, for me to get my eyes off me and onto Him. So in this prayer I am not sure if this miracle happened in 5 minutes or in 5 months after the previous verses!

Look where David's focus is now - on the LORD!!! He says over and over - YOUR - referring to the Lord! I like to call this section - Review His faithfulness. God gives all the accounts in the bible and things we hear from our friends, etc. of ways HE has worked for a reason. One reason being that when we get into a place like your friend or even much, much less serious we can review the ways HE has worked in the past and ask Him to do it again. We take our eyes off the way it has been and think about the ways He has work for others and ask Him to do that in our life as well. I think HE appreciates us taking the time to notice His faithfulness and ways He has worked - it honors Him!

It takes boldness with respect to have a fit before the Lord, but it also takes boldness with responsibility to review His faithfulness. We have to be responsible to know how He has worked even when Satan is yelling in our ears that HE won't, but we also have to be responsible to admit we have seen Him work!

I also love the rest of the chapter. David had his fit, reviewed the faithfulness of the Lord and changed his focus, and is still being honest. Verse 7 is like David saying - "God you know me. As a female I can be full of faith one second and absolutely useless the next. Do your thing quickly cause YOU know me!!!" He is saying "answer me quickly" - I have faith right now and need to hear from you or see you move cause you know how quickly my heart can turn or "my spirit fail".

I think so often we are afraid to be honest with the Lord. We can be real with friends, family, and even some strangers, but being real with the Lord - who already knows all our thoughts, etc - is tough. We kind of preach to our kids that they are not allowed to doubt, they are not allowed to have fit in front of the Lord (as if He can't see or know), and that kind of realness should be stifled. I think NOT!! I think this verse is a good indication of that. We have to understand that God can handle our fits. We have to believe that He is big enough to deal with us. We have to show Him in our actions that we know He can change the situation.....we have allow our teens the faith (working through the doubt) to wait for Him to work.........and then believe that He will!!

Allow your friend to get it out - with boldness, but in respect. The respect part may take her some time. Don't feel like you have to say too much. Don't take it personally!

I would encourage you to fast and pray for her. Do as the Lord leads, but you too show the Lord you have seen His faithfulness, review it, and proclaim it. Allow Satan to hear aloud that you know who is in control. Allow him to hear who your faith is in. Allow him to be reminded of his losing battle! this is chance for your faith to be bolstered as well.

Well, that is about all from me. I will be praying for you all!!! Wow, the Lord thinks so highly of you to allow this in your life to be a minister to someone during this extremely difficult time in their life. Be His light - I am thankful you will be!!

Much love sister!! Leigh

So - what do you tell a friend that says they want to end it all??? I think we can never be prepared enough for this kind of thing!! Hope to hear from you!!

Much Love, Leigh

1 comment:

Michele Williams said...

Prayers are going up now...

My grandson has had thoughts of suicide this year... He has been in and out of a Christian mental hospital and is currently going daily for their programs... Please pray for him as well...