Monday, January 09, 2006

Just Give Me Jesus

Well, we had Christmas break off and now the kids are suppose to be back to school. The kids were suppose to go back to school on Thursday of last week, but Tucker and SJ had their tonsils out on the Wednesday before school started. So we are still in the process of healing. Kids are waking up all hours of the night and just going crazy. They are in so much pain and are so hungry as well. It is killing me to see them in so much pain, but also killing me to get no sleep.

I am not very good at keeping up with my quiet time when I am on vacation or not on a schedule. I do ok in the summer once I establish my schedule. I just do not like, finally in my life, to go more than 2 days without my Jesus and I conversing through His word. It just hurts my heart and I know my words begin to hurt others or at the very least my family!!

So that is where I am at right now. I have "Believing God" waiting on me with my college girls - I will be repeating it. And I also have Jesus, The One and Only waiting on me too. I can not wait to jump into it because I need some time with Him. I need some structure, I need (as my college girls sometimes say) "me some Jesus"! Just give me Jesus. Not sleepless nights, not happy days, not plates full of cookies, not even sunshiny days - Just give me Jesus!

Lord, I know you are here. I just can not see myself searching and hearing you call. I want to hear from you and I want to have my life back with a schedule. I know there is so much for me to learn at this time, so please let it not be in vain. Learn me, Father! More than anything, just heal my kids. How does a mom with really sick kids do this every day and every night! I am so thankful there is an end to this. I am so thankful this is not something much worse, I am so thankful to have had help for the first few days. I thought we were over the bad day yesterday, but it seems to have reared its head again! Seriously, is there an end??

"I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you." Isaiah 42:8-9

New things are on the way - I believe! Let me see Your glory!

1 comment:

amy said...

Thanks for that! That is exactly what I have been feeling all day. I miss Passion, because it was a break from reality and tomorrow I am at it again. I am going back to work after 9 days off and it is a 12 hour day. I know I need to be thankful, that is something I was convicted of today...a thankful spirit to Jesus really saves me throughout the day. And Jesus is here just as much as He was at Passion, but my heart is different...I was very surrendered there, very thankful there, very full of faith there. I miss you and I CAN NOT WAIT to start Believing God. I am so thankful for this season of my life that I have to share with you on our way to glory! I love you, Leigh!