Saturday, June 30, 2007

384 - Mr. Linky's Believing God

On Thursday evening my Believing God Gals watched the video "I am who God says who I am". Oh did it speak volumes to me. My oh my oh my!! The funny thing is that it did not sink in until much after. I knew it had been a good night, but my heart could not even express the whispers that He reached my spirit with! Incredible.

You see on the outside I am very confident. I am about 6 feet tall, strong as a horse (my momma used to always say), can play sports well, love to smile, love a crowd, do have an extra 15lbs., but can get by, and just love to have a good time. I do have much confidence and have always liked to be the leader. So just to meet me and get to know me on the surface hopefully one is not turned off because I don't display a cockiness I don't think, but just am a friendly gal that doesn't have a lot of hang ups.

But on the inside I would like to introduce the real Leigh Gray. I have always been quite conscious of my body. I am very tall and my legs go for days. I have always felt like a broom upside down. Bunch of body squooshed together and then legssssssssssssssssssssss. I have great trouble reading those deep magazines like People because I quickly compare myself and NEVER add up. There have been a few times in my life - ok many more than a few, that i have said things i was not suppose to say, I broke confidence or whatever. Nicole in 7th grade made me promise not to tell Ann Marie something and I did. That is just one example that comes to mind. I can not forget things like that. And then all the other times i might have done something like that or just plain gossipped, i can't forget that either. Maybe I said something i really believed, but it should not have come out - ouch!!! Done that too often as well. So in my mind i have a hard time believing that those people have ever forgiven me. Every time i hear some one's name that i might have hurt their feelings in the past I immediately think "I am sure they still hate me". Oh the games i play in my mind. On the inside I find a very selfish person. I like to do my own things and things to go my way. On the inside I find myself not understanding blessings that come my way. I know the real me and my thoughts, etc. so how could God ever allow this and that to happen? I feel like i don't deserve so much, but then again I fight with a self-righteous attitude thoughts of "well, maybe I do". Oh now that was ugly!!!

You see - I am not sure I know who God says I am. I know, or at least I think I know who I am. I know what I don't like, I know what I have confidence in, but I also know all the things i wish I was. I am beginning to feel a bit MPD, multiple personality disorder coming on - just joking.

I just read this morning that when Cain killed Abel, Abel's blood screamed out from the ground for vindication or at least justice we imagine. Go read it in Gen. 4:10. But in Heb. 12:24 Christ blood still present-active-participle flowing today screams out a different story - a story about each one of us!! Oh you have got to go study that whole concept if you have not!!! Amazing and oh yeah this is great, got to get more of it, scream and dance kind of good stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah baby!

So who does God say that I am or who does God say that YOU are? What is His blood screaming out over each of us - it covers us and tells us who we are or what His blood covers and we become. From the video based on Romans 4:1-7 He says that..............

I am blessed. Oh how I know I am blessed, but then again I have no idea all the blessings He has bestowed on me... I do ask that He bless me, but there are so many other times He just shoots down blessings to me just because of His love. Oh wow - I got to holler about that one! Thank you Jesus! If He never did another thing for me, I am blessed - His blood is more than enough and I am blessed.

I am chosen - boy hidy, do i know I am chosen. I do not want to get into doctrine stuff, but I know He had to have chosen me because I would not have chosen Him!! Praise you Lord!! Thank you for your hand reaching out and drawing me in - chasing after me and pouring Your life out for me - once again the never stopping Blood that screams for me!!!! Thank you for the specific calling or choosing in my life of ministry!!! Oh Jesus, I am shaking with glee!!

I am adopted - this is one that I am excited about, but do not really understand to the fullest. I am not adopted by nature and don't have any adopted in my family, etc. But this I do know - Jesus is never jealous of all the Father has given me access to even though I am not blood. I am adopted, I am not real blood like He is, and yet I have access to all that the real Blood has access to. Now that is amazing. Jesus is never jealous of me and blood is never too thick that i can not get through. Nope again, His blood covers me and fully makes me His own!!! Shout it girls!

I am accepted - Oh after all my thoughts, actions, disappointments, self-reliance, just all of it and He still accepts me. Oh wow - how can it be. I just am overwhelmed... I have always wanted to be accepted and loved - I work hard to hope that people will like me. I just want to be accepted and appreciated. But He shouts to me - You ARE already accepted by the MOST now apprecaite that!!!!!!!! Thank you you, Lord....

I am Redeemed - this is huge for me. Because of all those things i have done - not so much visible, but those thoughts, those words said in private, those attitudes, those self-righteousnesses - the BLOOD has so much to cover in my life. I thank Him for giving me a better picture of what my sin is. I have never had the obvious sins of youth and not really brought them into my adulthood, but oh my mind!!! God has allowed me to see much of what He is covering and Redeeming and I just fall in humility and thanksgiving! I asked to see my sin and holy cow - it is UGLY!!! But i am Redeemed...

I am forgiven - this i one that just brings tears to my eyes as I type. I know this lessons was for many others, but the Holy Spirit is speaking in my life forgiveness right now as i press the keys. I am so overwhelmed by His love and I am not sure I would have gone to this place with Him had i just sat and read and even watch this lesson. Oh praise you Lord - thank you for the way you work in my life and for the miracle you have done this morning through the typing!! I get it!! I know I am loved therefore I am redeemed and accepted and chosen and adopted and blessed and forgiven!!!!!!!! Thank you Lord - i wish i had more beautiful words to say, but my heart is just so thankful!! Wow -!!!

Lord, this is just for me and you this morning. I know many others will read it as well. Oh Lord, I pray others will feel how You feel about us and what You say we are in Christ!!! I get it!!! Lord, i pray I have not been too honest on here to deter someone from wanting to use me at their church - but if so, that too is ok - I have been with You this morning and that is more than enough!! I love you I love you I love you - teach me to love you more!!!! Please Lord!

It is your turn.

Go through the 6 things that we "are" in Christ - Let Him speak to you in this exercise!


Connie Barris said...

boy you nailed this one.. you didn't miss a thing...

well said....

by the way... love.. love my ipod carrying bag.. thank you

Valarie said...

"Listen, O daughter...The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." Ps 45:10a-11

"The Lord your God is with YOU, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in YOU, he will quiet you with HIS love, he will rejoice over YOU with singing." Zeph 3:17 (emphasis mine)

That's who you/we are girl!! We are daughter's of the King who takes delight in us and is "enthralled" (love that word) by our beauty!!!
(not that I doubt you do!)

Love ya girl!!!

Dori said...

Wow, Leigh!! Another "print and ponder" moment on your blog...

I love this lesson in Believing God. In fact, I have a card posted above my kitchen sink that says...

In Christ I am..

Blessed, Chosen, Adopted, Accepted, Redeemed, Forgiven.

Like I said, I have to print this one and ponder it during my quiet time!

Still reeling over me singing with your aunt in a couple of weeks! Yikes! I have A LOT of music to learn!!!!

All this and Jesus, too,

Kim said...


Love this post today - had to move my toes girl - on the part where you talked about past sins...been there - done that! But praise God, we have been redeemed! Have a great day in him!


Sharon said...

Love your honesty girl!
Left a little something for you on my blog.
And ye, I will click on a add before I leave. ;)

Irritable Mother said...

Thanks so much for sharing this post. Just tonight I was thinking about some of my ugliness - you know, selfishness and the like - and wondering why He loves me. But I AM accepted and He IS redeeming me. He is making me beautiful!
He has chosen me and I am trusting Him to work in me that which is pleasing to Him. I'm so glad I'm not the Potter...I don't do a good job on my own, but I believe He can create a masterpiece!

BTW, for some reason I was picturing you much shorter. I'm going to have to adjust my mental image now to bring you up to six feet! :)

Kate said...

It's so easy to forget all these things and sometimes difficult to believe; but regardless, true. Thanks for the reminder!
Many blessings to ya.

Deborah said...

Just for this I have left you something on my blog go and fetch it. You knock me out with your honest. love ya dolla. love always me