522 - But WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Lord Jesus, there are many times in my life I just need to know why. You have been given "a" or "b" situation to walk through and yet the main thing I am concerned with is WHYYYYYYYYY! The why can actually really be a frustrating thing to me. Even though i am very laid back in personality I still have this longing to know why someone does something, why God allows such to happen, or why I just reacted or acted in such a way. You know, kind of like i stepped out of my body and didn't even know I was going to act that way! WHY!!!

Is it my place to know why Lord? Is there any real importance or would it really help me to strive harder if I knew the why to everything? What is it about the why that would make me feel better. I guess for me it is the loss of control that is tough. It is for me the unknown. It is fear of how long this could last. It is just not understanding the purpose!!! That is tough!!

I read through another random chapter in Job. Chapter 33. Here we have another friend instructing Job on why he can not hear from God and why God has him going through all this - or rather why it happened in the first place. This friend claimed Job was just not listening to God. But my own my, Job had nothing but time to listen to God and was doing so - or at least trying!!! That was not it!! I don't really have any scripture dissection to tell about - bummer, I love that stuff. But rather just a point that I learned from the commentary - nothing on my own this morning - no revelations from God to me per say.

Job up to this point is really getting frustrated with not knowing why he is going through such terrible things and pain. He has been recounting his days and trying to figure out every mistake he might have made to bring it before the Lord to seek forgiveness and redemption. That was not the deal! Knowing the why of something brings security in a sense and Job wanted and pleaded with the Lord to know why. Then my guy said the most profound thing - "Job's greatest test was not the pain, but that he did not know why he was suffering. Our greatest test may be that we trust God's goodness even though we don't understand why our lives are going a certain way. We must learn to trust in God who is good and not in the goodness of life."

My youth minister, Ergun, said one time, "What you believe is more important than what you feel. And what God says is more important than what I want to believe or want to feel." Wow, that is profound. We want to know and feel and be informed. Or at least I do and that is not trust. Yes, we trust God, but I still want control and want to be informed. That is not real trust. Real trust I think I lam earning this morning is not just accepting God through the trials that seem to make sense or you can see the end, but leaning on His righteousness and His goodness - His never changing, all-knowing, secure, faithful, and gentle characteristics!!! GOD.

Lord, thank you!! Thank you for teaching me to trust you more. I can say I believe I have only ever scraped the surface of trust. Lord, I want to know you better in this area too. I want to trust your goodness and not the life that is going good that You are in as well. Thank you for revealing your scripture to me and giving me the help of the commentaries to understand it. Lord, I love your Word. I leave very early in them morning for Nashville. I speak at Long Hollow tomorrow. I am excited - this is an incredible church!!! Then I come back they same day for only a moment. I fly out for a long weekend in Wisconsin!! I am excited about this one too!! Jennifer who has been planning everything has been sooooooooooooooooooo organized!! These are brand new messages. Lord, help me to internalize them, passionize them (that is my word), and speakanize them in such a way that Your purpose and plan is reveal in a new and different way to these ladies!! I am looking for not one person to leave the same!! Encounters Lord, we want you to invade everything!!!! Especially the hearts!!! Can't wait to see you there!! Amen!