Friday, April 04, 2008

564 - He is my Portion - Yours?

Dear Lord! Thank you so much for the worship this morning with you. I was able to get my hands on my Tomlin CD and just dove into You through Amazing Grace - My Chains are Gone. Oh Lord Praise You. Thank you Father for your love, your release, your incredible forgiveness and discipline, your faithfulness, and your genuine love for me. Oh Lord I am officially overwhelmed by You and I just love it!! Lord, keep me close - don't let me stray. Preserve me and help me to prove faithful - Ps. 31:24.

I was doing some studying this week on a book that kind of scares me - Lamentations. I am very intimidated by people that are suffering from depression or are by nature just very negative or actually just not as hyper and joyous that I tend to be most of the time - sort of... I am intimidated because I am scared I am going to bug them and not say the right things. I know all the answers of - just be there - don't say a word - just listen - I know all that from my psychology background in counseling, but still it scares me. So Lamentations is that kind of book - the laments of Jeremiah and he is very doom and gloom about the people of God. But my faithful Lord gave me a nugget - I will get to that.

Even in Jeremiah's doom and gloom I learned from John Piper that this book was a well thought out poem. For the most part, each chapter is written in a Hebrew alphabet acrostic. But chapter 3 - where i have received my nugget - it is not only an acrostic, but it is written with 3 lines per verse and each of those 3 lines begins with the same letter of the corresponding letter in the Hebrew alphabet!! Dude - that is amazing... I so wish I could go to seminary - well, but then again I would have to study! But if we don't know the original language how will we or I ever know - oh yeah we have all these study aides!! Thank you Lord!

The song above is very special to me. I long to know when God is speaking to me. I long to walk in His plan and hear His directions. I long to know when I have messed up and when to go back! I long to know He loves me and to hear it from time to time. I just want to hear God Speaking!

He does speak and most times if I will listen closely it is so obvious! I was talking to a friend the other day on the phone and she was telling me about not knowing what God was telling her. But she had just told me all these things about the situation. It was very obvious to me - from the outside - what He was speaking to her. But she was not quite at the point to see it that way for various reasons. Possibly that was not the answer she was looking for. Or she was expecting her answer to be very different or at least come in a different fashion. He was speaking!

In the song "God Speaking" by Mandissa she sings "God wants you to know that He is enough". Oh how at this time in my life that speak volumes. The kids and I are on a Mandissa splurge right now - we can not get enough of this past American Idol contestant's incredible voice. And we sound quite good with it turned up so that the people on the outside can hear it well too! ha! But God did speak to me through that song saying, "Leigh, do you now know that I am enough?" Quickly I replied with tears in my eyes trying to drive through carline, "Oh yes Father - more than enough! Thank you!!"

"I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lam. 3:24 When Jeremiah penned those words it was not that he was depressed as a person, he was lamenting the fact that his people, God's people, were no longer acknowledging their Portion. God was screaming out in His way He is enough and they were missing it. Not only were they missing it they had turned from all the good they had ever known and heading down the destructive path. All paths are destructive if they are not led by Jesus!

Oh Lord, I know You are enough and You are more than enough. Help my life to live that belief! Help me to walk in such a way that it is obvious to at least Satan that I do know He is enough! Not clothes, not money, not food, not even friends - But my Jesus is enough!! Amazing Grace - my chains are gone. I have been set free!! He is my portion!!! Amen!!


ange said...

Leigh thank you for your words. They really spoke to me today and I wish you knew how bad I needed them.

Dori said...


Thank you so much for posting this! I needed this today. I tend to go "negative" when I'm not feeling well. This ministered healing to me today -- not necessarily to my physical ailments, but definitely to my spirit!!

Love you!

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

Hey friends - Dori and Ange!! I know you both are going through a tough time. Ange I knwo you are sitting on pins and needles and Dori you are stuck on your back - sick...again!! He IS enough!! I know you know that. I find it an extreme privilege to pray for oyu both!! Love you and let me know how all turns out!

Nicki said...

This is a tough subject! I've been through a really bad depression and it was only through the grace and freedom I found in Christ that set me free. It wasn't a pill or a book or anything like that. I have just recently become friends with someone who is battling bipolar and it's very, very hard. It's much more than just a bout of saddness or darkness. And they do need medication to balance it out......but it's hard for me because I know what worked for me, and it may not work for her. I had no idea that the book of Lamentations was about this....I'll have to take a closer look!! ps-love this song too!!

Sarah Martin said...

I had to laugh about your post on wed about Dolly. Did you see her on American Idol wednesday night?!! She sang about Jesus-on Amaerican Idol!! Too cool...


Tricia said...

I received the scripture purse and the "Journaling the Joy of Jesus" that I won from a drawing. I really am not even sure what drawing I won it from, but believe me, I know it was ordained by God for me to receive these things. When I opened the package I was drawn to the journal more so than the purse, don't get me wrong, I love the purse, but I think God has some things to say to me thru your journal.

I am going thru one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, and I am clinging desperately to Jesus. Satan is attacking my family, and I am being put into the position of choosing my family or my God, and I will choose my God! But it is so very hard. (This is not my husband and my children, but my parents and sibling).

Anyway, your package came at just the right time, and the scripture is very encouraging, as tomorrow is going to be a very difficult day. All prayers are appreciated.

Thanks & God Bless

Kathy S. said...

Leigh, like I've said, I love reading your overflowing-with-joy posts. It is such a gift. Like you, at one time I didn't understand the depression thing. Used to think it was an attempt at getting attention. Couldn't understand how one could have Jesus and become so hopeless...until I went there. What a failure I felt I was. More scary for me was people's fear of where I was. I would like to encourage you.

Listening, and calling are HUGE to one who is lost in that garbage. One who listens in the Spirit can get discernment through prayer and encourage more than any counselor. Love is what the depressed one is missing, unbelief (in genuine love) is what they are fighting, and genuine caring is so healing. Even if the caring fumbles, it is seen for what it is.

I recieved vinegar for my thirst at times, yes, but God used all those things somehow. I one time shared in my Sunday School how I was struggling and it was most devastating that not one person called me that week to ask if they could pray with me. I was given grace to never be bitter, and I knew it was fear of the unknown-didn't blame them one bit, but wished someone had had an inklilng that God could use them to encourage me...I did find out that Jesus was always enough!!
Keep spreading the joy!!
Love Kathy

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

OH My Heavenly Father..

thank you... that You are enough..

this was just too beautiful... and it spoke such volumes to me...

thank you sweet Jesus

artist4him4evr said...

Leigh, I first thank you for these words of portion. I then challenge you. This week please try to not lump those you see as depressed, negative, and quiet all into one catagory. My pastor has always referred to negative people as sandpaper people because they rub you the wrong way. But Sometimes quiet people live there lives that way but are very happy and joyous with God. Depressed people sometimes live that way due to situations that they are as you say looking to God for their portion to live it differently and then other depressed people are chemically that way but live day by day to be very joyous with God and live with content that way to search harder day by day. So please don't lump them this week and then try to look to see what they can teach you quietly about being still and quiet which is the part that is so intimidating to you. Just a challenge. Again thank you so much for your words each day.

Lindsee said...

Amen, sweet sister!

I love this song. Love it! :)

Tracy Berta-daughter to the King, wife, mother, speaker, writer said...

Amen, Leigh!

I am sooooo excited about my new blog! Amy from and did an amazing job!!! I love it. Come on over and check it out when you get a minute.
Many blessings!

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

I wanted you to know that I used your song to start my counseling session yesterday... and it brought tears to both of us...

We just sat in silence and listended to the words that Mandisa sang...

So you ministered to many

thank you

Amy E. said...

hey leigh--
we must love all the same music! This Mandisa song is my 'most played' on my iPod and EVERY time I listen to it, I cry. It is incredibly powerful!