Saturday, June 28, 2008

605 - Update on My Sarahjane and stuff

I have to say that the way God is speaking to me as of late is very indicative of a new group of messages about to be written. Only difference, I have never written a retreat series without any place to take it. That doesn't matter, I know He is preparing it. It will be something about The Lurker- satan, the difference between temptation and divine revelation in our life, and then finally lining our lives up with the favor or blessing of our Lord - giving Him reason to smack down on our lives a big ole "atta girl"! So I think that will be next week. Life may slow down just a tad - yeah right - and I can write. We shall see.

So I say all that to say the Lord continued my quiet time with Him on into yesterday and truly put my faith to test. Going into the doctors i had a suspicious feeling we were not going to get good news. It was not a "not believing" kind of thing, I think this was a gracious preparation from the Lord. Details are too many, but just trust me that I had my reasons for knowing. So the doctor checked out my girlie and still was not all the way pleased with the way she walks - "Her butt is still up in the air just a bit isn't it Mom?" Does he have to bring it out in the open - this child likes hearing those things and will certainly say it at the most inopportune times!! Ugh!!

Then he sat down in his rolly chair and flew right over to me in my personal space i might add. ha! Then he went on and on about words I was not aware of and jargon that I could not even recite. All i do know is that we are looking at pauciarticulate Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. A very conclusive test came back showing this was the direction we were going in. Now the test is only 60% correct for positive, but the doctor feels very certain this is where we are going!

My mind floated off into a tunnel and I heard not another word from him. Would she ever have children? Would her body begin to deform? Would she be in constant pain? Why does she have to be so tough - she has always had it so rough! Will she live a long life? Will she lose her eyesight? Will she be able to play sports - she is soooooooooo active!! Will she be able to make it on her own?? Oh Lord, I can not bear this - this is too much!! This is my baby girl!

As if I was not myself I began to minister to myself the way I had just talked about that morning in my quiet time - incorrectly. Leigh, He is not going to give you more than you can bear. The Holy Spirit stopped me right there - the doctor is still talking my ear off as fast as possible. "I will not allow people to be tempted beyond what they can handle - why - because I want them to know My power and look to Me to get past and most importantly I am not looking to see my children fail. I am always looking for you to look to Me. The same is true of what I give you to handle or bear. Except... I will almost always give you more than you can bear - I want you to look to me for strength. I want you to look to Me for help and survival. I want you to praise Me before, after and all the way through it! Giving you what you can handle or bear will usually not bring you to me in total faith. I need your total heart, faith, and dependence. You are right, this is more than you can bear and that is what My yoke is about."

Yes, Lord, I understand!! Thank you for taking the time to teach me. Help me to be strong and know how to deal, what to tell, how much to tell, and when to tell. Help us to find the best Ped. Rheumatologist we can in our area - St. Louis, Louisville, Nashville, Indy, or Cincinnati. But as with everyone, we will do anything and go anywhere.

This is the same child we battled Asthma with. After much prayer, fasting, laying on hands, everything the Spirit asked of us was healed to never go down that road again! He can do it again. There is still time for Him to work and come through for her! He is Jehovah Jireh and Raphe!! He can come through! Lord, I am in awe of Your Sovereignty. I am in awe of You. I praise you, Lord. I love you. I trust You! I believe!! My face is to YOU!

***********************does anyone in all this whole world know anyone or have any possibility of turning a cassette tape to CD?? My old church could do it and I need that service again!! Any help? Thank you


ThreeGirlyGirls said...

oh girl, I'm soo so sorry to hear this about her. I know that must be super hard to just absorb it all. I saw what He did with her Asthma and you are so so right! he Can and will do it again.

Love you so much.


Susan said...

Hi Leigh,
My heart goes out to you and your family regarding Sarahjane's diagnosis and I will be praying for all of you as the days ahead unfold.

He is, indeed, Jehovah Rapha. Nothing is impossible with Him and He holds Sarahjane in the palm of His most powerful hand.

Deut. 33:25 assures us that "your strength will equal your days." The Amplified version of the same verse declares: "As your day, so shall your strength, your rest and security be." May you and your family all experience His strength, rest, and security.

Susan in NH

Leah said...


I am sorry to hear about SJ's diagnosis however, you are right. It is an opportunity for the Lord to show Himself Huge and Awesome!! Please know that I will be praying like mad for all of you and for the doctor that the Lord will bring into SJ's life to deal with this.

When we get to the end of our own efforts to deal with the things the Lord allows in our lives is exactly when He steps in and pours on His power in and through us!! Cling to Him with everything that is in you!! He will not fail you!!


Norma Bowers said...

Hey Leigh, how sorry I am to hear the doctor's prognosis. We will be lifting you up and if it's alright with you I want to list Sarahjane on our email prayer chain. Believe me after all we went through with our oldest daughter, I understand all the rushing thoughts that you are going through right now. But please just a word of caution, don't dwell too much on the negative thoughts. I know you too well to think that you would do this but sometimes when it seems like everything is coming at you at one time it is hard to see the positive especially when it is one of your babies! But from experience I know what great things can come from this time of testing. I don't only think, I know that God doesn't waste moments like this. Let Him use it for His glory! I love you and am so blessed to call you friend. Keep looking up!

Valarie said...

Oh girl. I truly have no words. The Father knows. He knows it all, He was not take by surprise and He WILL glorify Himself somehow, someway. I love you. I'm here for you. I'm praying and I'd just about give anything to be able to squeeze your neck right now. Kiss my girl even though she likely doesn't remember me by now.


Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

thank you all girls!! i really appreciate your prayers!! May He be prasied!!! and I truly mean that! love, Leigh

Valarie - i asked SJ and yes oh yes, she remembers Ms. Valarie and music!!

Shonda said...

I'm praying for you and SJ and the doctors and all involved.
In Christ's love--

connorcolesmom said...

Oh I sit here in tears after reading that post!
I can not imagine receiving such news like that
I will continue to pray for you and SJ - for God to be glorified and SJ to be HEALED!!
Love ya

Anonymous said...

How precious you are to Him. My heart is sadden by this latest discovery. However, it is in the valleys that we grow - I know He has something amazing in store for your family. I will be praying for you.
"Father You know all of the intimate details of the situation I ask for healing not only physical but to heal this family in their times of frustration and anxiety. Be the hands and eyes of the doctors and give them discrenment and wisdom. May all of the glory and honor be to The Ultimate Healer. I thank you for what You are going to accomplish in their lives. We wait in expectation of Your Greatness. Thank you Lord for covering them in Love and protect them from the enemy. In Your Sons most precious Name I pray and by His Blood cover them. AMEN"

Laura said...

i will stand with you in prayer...BELIEVING that with God nothing is impossible and He can heal. May He touch your "motherheart" tonite and hold you close in His arms of love as only He can do.

StaceyStace said...

You and your precious girl will be in my prayers.

I have found that the ironic thing is whatever God reveals to me in my quiet times is usually what I will be bombarded with that day! He shows me He is faithful to His Word in spite of the difficulties, not that He will always remove them.

I pray His comfort and peace will be with your daughter, you and your family as you seek healing.

Rachel said...

I wanted to thank you for your words of encouragement about my upcoming move...however, now I want to give you words of encouragement! I'm praying for you, siesta! I pray for your renewed strength. I pray for your daughter's healing. I pray for your personal space (except for when we're at Siesta Fiesta...hugs are not optional!).
Love, Rachel

Holly said...

Praying for another miracle over your darlin' girl!