I saw the unseen!! Incredible day!

Lord Jesus, going to a Children's hospital is not always my favorite thing to do.  #1, I'm there for a reason - there is something going on with one of my children and so therefore that is always reason for concern.  #2, the other families are there for a reason as well.  Many that you run into look very sick or their parents have the face that tells all.

At the same time it is a very tough trip, I am always brought to a very grateful place.  It is as if I am saying thank you in my mind the whole time I am walking from one room to the next knowing that the particular stages of sickness that are so visible in so many of the kids we have not entered into.  Thank you!!

Much like always, we didn't park in the most convenient location and had to do quite a bit of walking to get to our building.  Passing the patients outside still hooked up to all kinds of medicines AND smoking was something that Sarahjane could not understand.  "But mom, if a doctor is making them stay in the hospital, cant he make them not smoke too?"  I thought she had a very good point.

The further we got into our journey I began to think about each family represented.  This was the last place anyone would have ever chosen to spend even a small amount of time.  No one asks to be sick or even given something that is curable.  Sickness, in any form, is not something we as humans raise our hands to be chosen for.  BUT, i saw the unseen.  I really did - it was not visible, but I saw it!

¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor. 4:18


As i passed each family I allowed my mind to go to a place where there would be no sickness.  A place where no doctors would be needed.  A place where there would be no pain - no need to even draw blood.  A place where the sick would never cry again and those giving care would never cry as well.  


The Lord allowed me to envision Heaven and these precious lives walking, running, playing, singing, jumping, and even sitting.........at peace.  I quickly took my mind to a scene in Heaven when some day when both my dad and I will meet up on the corner of Gold Street and run to worship the Lord Jesus.  He will hold my hand with his left hand that will be fully functioning and we will together RUN to the Father as fast as we can - no cane, no delays, PERFECT.  


For now I saw the unseen.  But someday I will see AND experience the unseen all at the same time. I pray for those families that are living in the seen, that have no hope of the unseen.  I pray they come to find the hope that will help them make it until they see the unseen!  Lord, may they come to know the one that freely gave His blood once and for all.  May they all come to know and trust The Doctor!  May we fix our eyes on You!  I love you Savior!  


PS - Update on Sarahjane - the doctors are running more tests on her thyroid.  They also are doing a test to find out what stage of growth her bones are in.  All in all - the doctor had no serious concerns.  Praise You Lord!!  

Pain Does Have an Answer

Oh Lord - I cannot say enough about the incredible-ness of this past weekend in Washington.  WOW!!  As i showed you on facebook, they thought of everything!  It was again a church of much vision and passion and followers of Christ with guts to try!  I don't see this kind of church everyday, but when I do it is like a taste of heaven.  It is almost one of those things that you have to be there to understand!  So next time, I will take you!!  

After serving at a church for a weekend I am always reminded of the hurting people.  I get the opportunity to speak and pray with all kinds of ladies that are going through things I cannot relate to, but can relay my Jesus to for hope and healing!  It is like I always carry the answer - we DO!!!  Jesus!  

In my devotion I came across a verse that offers so much encouragement and hope for anyone and everyone.  No matter if you are in the midst of a trial or just got out of one - another will be coming - this scripture will speak comfort in your heart!  

^13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness
      in the exuberant earth.
   Stay with God!
      Take heart. Don't quit.
   I'll say it again:
      Stay with God.   Psalm 27:13-14 (Message)

Another translation

^13 [a]I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the ^(A)goodness of the LORD
In the ^(B)land of the living.
^14 (C)Wait for the LORD;
Be ^(D)strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD.  (same scripture but NASB)

There is an answer for your pain - Stay with God!!!  The writer here must have just gone through a pain or trial and this is their final word on it - Stay with God!  Wait on the Lord.  

"Land of the living" or "exuberant earth" simply mean the day we live in today. The earth as we know it.  Here and Now.  

This you must hold on to not matter what the trial is - You may have to look hard especially if your mind's eyes are clouded by depression or even frustration, but you will see the goodness of the Lord.  You may have to wait a bit longer if you are clouded for whatever reason, but take heart you will see His goodness!!  In the wait be strong and may your hope be encouraged knowing the visible goodness is coming!!!  Take heart!  

I don't know about yall - but I needed to hear that!!  Pain does have an answer - or there is an answer for the pain - wait on the Lord - you will see!  

Today after I lift weights with my trainer girl - killer woman that I love - my daughter Sarahjane and I will take off for St. Louis for her appointment with the pediatric endocrinologist!  I am excited for this meeting to find out more!  Yall please pray for clarity and definite answers.  Either way - I know we will see the goodness of the Lord on this earth - even today.  I will wait on the Lord and be strong and have a courage heart.  Even if it takes longer than I want - I will wait on the Lord!!!  Amen Jesus - I love you!  

893 - The Low Down

Ok, so here's the deal....

A cagillion emails to return - important

House to clean and organize so that people have clothes for school, etc. - semi important

Prayer time at church - important

Walk with my friend - important

5 or 6 churches waiting on responses for dates they want a speaker - important

Thousand fb messages to get up to speed on - important

Raising money for baby in Liberia - important

Returning the love texts from friends and family getting the latest scoop - important

Losing weight - not so much important - ha

Giving my all to Sarahjane and making sure she gets the best - Paramount!!!!!!!! Trumps all!!

Lord, I miss a schedule since we had just gotten in a routine with school starting. But all the above can wait as I minister to my baby girl and her needs. She is on her way back to recovery. We go in for another root canal kind of thing this morning - we need to leave in just a few.

Life will return to "normal" (is our house ever normal?) and life will go on. But for now I have to ignore all and be with her! I love it, I adore this time, and I just eat her up!! God is so gracious. He is so faithful. and He is my Rock!

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess (homologia - means to agree with His Word), for He who promised is faithful. Heb. 10:23

I will get back with you - important - just maybe not today.

625 - It is just too much!!

Lord Jesus, I just don't know how much I can handle. You know me best, but this is just more than I can bear!!! Living in Charlotte for 12 years and loving just about every minute of it. Giving me friends that I would give my life for. Sharing with us your House that has an unbelievable school to educate my kids. Then you ask us to leave.

You start me in ministry in Charlotte and it is incredible. Probably more than my family could really handle. I find myself starting my own ministry and things are hopping. You ask us to leave all I have ever known about ministry. You take from me contacts, networking, and platforms.

Now we are in Southern Illinois. VERY small town, no private schooling, no big churches, no Target, no shopping. This year alone has been quite a year. We redo a house and after a bit of controversy move to the next town over and my kids start ANOTHER new school. Then we go through a summer of tests on my little Sarahjane just waiting for a diagnosis of JRA.

Then this week I find myself nearly confined to a couch just because I was trying to be funny and have a good time. 2 boots and no walking! What more could go wrong............

Yes, oh yes, that certainly could be the perspective! But no way!!!!!!!!!!!! I do miss Charlotte and the convenience and miss terribly all my soul friends, but He has provided!! Beautifully provided! I now have a small town that reaches out and loves on those that live there just because they live there. I can walk to most places around town. I can count on seeing someone i know at every store I go in. (I happen to like that.) I can leave cash in my dry cleaning clothes by mistakes and know without a doubt that it will be pinned to my order when I come back to get it. I love that I can walk into the flower store and ask them to deliver flowers to so and so and many times they know where they live and will gladly just send me the bill in the mail. Those are just a few of the blessings. Blessings that overwhelm we with His goodness.

Ministry is different, very different, but very good. Now He has given me a team of ladies located all across the US and one incredibly talented ministry partner - Ginger Moore. He is sending me to Florida and then back to Alaska! But then He still allows me to go down the street to minister to churches of all kinds of denominations. Blessings - they overwhelm me!!

Now as i find myself with these boots on, unable to really walk, and kind of left to depend on everyone else all i can think about is blessings. People have called almost on the hour to offer meals, laundry, cleaning, kid towing, taxi-ing for me, just everything!!! Flowers have been delivered, friends have stopped by, food unexpectantly delivered, cookies left in the kitchen (cookies to DIE for i might add), etc. The body of Christ is loving on me in a way that I am overwhelmed. I just don't know how much more I can handle. It is as if I want to tell the Lord to stop the blessings flow. I know I know I know I do not deserve this. But His love through His people is just incredible!!! I am truly overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and now this...............

If it wasn't enough listen to this...........you better sit down as i was when I received this call.......................................... Sarahjane's doctor from Cinn. called and said that they do not have her biopsy results back yet, but that all her labs were NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, you read that right!!!!!!!! Every lab was normal. Even her labs that were JRA indicators that NEVER change in a person.........................they changed and all are normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When the nurse called me yesterday in tennis practice (yes, I sit on the sidelines and yell commands!) I just cried like a baby! I told the nurse it just couldn't be. It couldn't be normal. She reassured me over and over and over it was normal!!!!!!!!!!!! All of it was normal!!!

Oh friends - do you see it? It is yet another blessing that is overwhelming me. He has done it again in my baby's life!!!! It was all normal, all the test were normal... I just can hardly contain myself. I am so overwhelmed by His blessings in my life. Oh Lord - your goodness and grace - oh Lord - how could I ever doubt..............oh Lord - me of little faith...........Oh Jesus I just want to stay face down and worship!!! oh Lord - thank you thank you thank you!

Everything that may be seen like a mess, disaster, tragedy, or even curse - It is not to harm me... ever!!! No not ever. And the same is true in your life too!

So now I am off to my own doctor. I am doing much better, i think. Hard to really know. Then tennis pictures and practice this afternoon. My friend's mom, Helen, is going to take me to a meeting tonight in Mt. Vernon. Some kind of coaching rules meeting. That will be neat spending time with her! Just another blessing!! Oh Lord, this is just too much!! Thank you!

621 - Help and Shield

Oh Lord, you have had mercy and I thank you and praise You!! Great and mighty God are you and I wrap myself in your sweet aroma! Oh God how can you be this good? How can you bless so much? How can I stand another ounce of your favor in my life - Oh goodness sakes - I will, but Lord your love is overwhelming and so abundant!! Praise you Father!

We left on Thursday for my daughter's appointment in Cinn. Children's Hospital. We were able to stay with my brother's family and that was such a joy. His kids are getting so big. He lives in Erlanger, KY. right outside of Cinn.

Getting up for our 8am appointment - one hour ahead - was kind of tough! It was kind of rushed and emotions were coming closer and closer to the surface. I knew I needed to hold it together for my Janie! She had no idea what we were looking for other than her hip was sick. We had a bit more than a 20 minute drive - felt like i was back in Charlotte. As i felt the tears coming I reached for my Bible. I had not taken the time to have my QT just yet. (Honestly, I do so bad when I am not in my home and on my schedule. It is just an excuse, I know!) Anyway grabbing the Bible I did the "turn to the date" in Psalm kind of QT. Oh Lord, you blessed and I thank you so much for that!! (I have posted that scripture below...)

Verse 9-11 state that He is our "help and shield". Three times it states it. It was if the Lord was shouting out to me - Yes, you have not taken solid time for Me this morning, but nevertheless I am your "help and shield" three times over. Don't you worry.

Then verse 12-13 says three times "He will bless". It was almost too much to handle. Just then the Spirit quickly reminded me that He had given me those verses as my "help and shield" not to turn me to mush! So i held it together just a bit longer.

As we turned to go into the massive university campus hospital we had to drive deep into the earth to reach our parking spot. I thought we would surely come out in China at the Olympics - JK. As Clay rolled down the window to get the parking ticket Selah's "You Raise Me Up" came on. Yes, that did it. This song is very, very special to me. As I began to go into ministry a number of years ago on my own this song was one that HE used to comfort me and spur me on!

Once the car was parked I had it all back together and was able to "act" as if nothing was wrong - Help and Shield! Going up the elevator and walking to our Rheumatology area was frightening for both and Clay and I. We passed many kids that were bloated from meds, unable to walk because of various things, and parents in visible pain. Wow - "He will bless" in verse 12 and 13 was ringing true. Oh yes, oh yes, SJ could certainly get to those points some day and I must add "if Lord willing" even though that is tough, but for right now she was doing so well. Very energetic, and happy to just be spending time one on one time her momma and daddy. We were more than blessed!

Basically the Doctor spent about 2 hours with us the first time. She wanted me to start from conception and carry on. It was actually kind of fun to think back all the way the Lord has brought back health to SJ. She is so tough and strong - more than one time doctors commented on that. Examining her was very typical. Then we showed her some areas on her skin that have perplexed us and doctors for a long time. They too were very curious. Dr. Huggins brought in more doctors to take a look and then sent us on to a Ped. Specialist in Derm.

This doctor was named Dr. Anderson. She was awesome. Immediately she knew what they were - Granuloma Annular - just a very interesting case. But to make doubly sure they wanted to do a biopsy. Holy cow - I had not prepared SJ for that! Yikes. They put some deadening cream on her and sent us to lunch. Abuelos - what else!! When we returned they then put a shot of deadener to which SJ freaked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That kind of hurt even though her fit was way worse before the shot even hit her foot - silly girl. We got through it. She took a deep biopsy and sent us on our way. Wow - she was awesome despite the pain she had to inflict on my girlie!

Back to the Children's Hospital for another consultation. Dr. Huggins came in and basically told us that she was unsure at this time what exactly what going on with SJ. There was bad news and good news - some of the news was not her words, but my interpretation of what might was to come. "Help and Shield"!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Huggins explained that it very well could be a residual infection from her many step episodes long, long ago. It really could be - but not too likely. (Thanks for the hope at least.) But through all the stretching and tugging and all SJ's pain is still in the inside pocket of her hip - like around her panty line. That is real hip pain and signs of fluid on the hip. She did not think just one hip was involved, but both. UGH! Since the pain has started in her hip it is most likely that if it is Juvenile Arthritis it would be the bad one - poly-articular - and not the "good" one - pauci articular! "Help and shield"!! This pain and trouble would travel up her spine and into her neck - not where anyone would want it. We were hoping if it was down this road that it would be very extremities and one hip.

I did not think it was a good sign that the doctor did want her back on medicine - prescription meds and not just ibuprofen! Why would we need meds if she didn't predict any trouble? She also brought in a PT to show us some exercises to do so that stiffness would hopefully not be a factor! Ugh!! "Help and shield"!!

The very last thing we had to do was go to the lab and give almost every ounce of blood my baby had. This is one of the many times I really, really wanted to take her place! She did much better than the biopsy, but still. I had never seen so much blood come out of one chickie except of course when you are giving blood - ON PURPOSE!!

So we left that day with not a lot of answers. Tests should come back in a week or so and we go back to visit Dr. Huggins in 60 days. I left with Truth and that was more than enough - "Help and shield"!!!!!!

Now for school, tennis, volunterring, substitute teaching, and trip to San Antonio this weekend! There is no time to worry and who needs to when He is our "help and shield". Am i clinging to that - you bet cha!!!!!!!!!!

Psalm 115 1-2 Not for our sake, God, no, not for our sake, but for your name's sake, show your glory. Do it on account of your merciful love, do it on account of your faithful ways. Do it so none of the nations can say, "Where now, oh where is their God?"

3-8 Our God is in heaven doing whatever he wants to do. Their gods are metal and wood, handmade in a basement shop: Carved mouths that can't talk, painted eyes that can't see, Tin ears that can't hear, molded noses that can't smell, Hands that can't grasp, feet that can't walk or run, throats that never utter a sound. Those who make them have become just like them, have become just like the gods they trust.

4-9 God is higher than anything and anyone, outshining everything you can see in the skies. Who can compare with God, our God, so majestically enthroned, Surveying his magnificent heavens and earth? He picks up the poor from out of the dirt, rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash, Seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best. He gives childless couples a family, gives them joy as the parents of children. Hallelujah!

9-11 But you, Israel: put your trust in God! —trust your Helper! trust your Ruler! Clan of Aaron, trust in God! —trust your Helper! trust your Ruler! You who fear God, trust in God! —trust your Helper! trust your Ruler!

12-16 O God, remember us and bless us, bless the families of Israel and Aaron. And let God bless all who fear God— bless the small, bless the great. Oh, let God enlarge your families— giving growth to you, growth to your children. May you be blessed by God, by God, who made heaven and earth. The heaven of heavens is for God, but he put us in charge of the earth.

17-18 Dead people can't praise God— not a word to be heard from those buried in the ground. But we bless God, oh yes— we bless him now, we bless him always! Hallelujah!

621 - Sarahjane and Ministry Button

Good morning - I feel like i just got started back to blogging and have to take another break. I won't be back until the first real day of school - Monday!! Tomorrow we leave to go to Cincinnati Children's Hospital to take my Sarahjane there for her first visit. I am very..........excited............that does not seem like the right word. But i am ready to get the final diagnosis and move forward. I am ready to know this Goliath we are fighting and get my sling shot all stretched out and ready to aim and fire this giant out of the park! But wait..... Could it have already been done, I mean the fighting and victory already been done through the prayers of so many of you and friends??? I am believing!

Early into this battle her medicine started hurting her stomach - very common. I stopped the medicine and she did great for about 3 days. Then all the pain came back, back to limping, and not a good thing. We started the medicine again, but took it differently. Stomach trouble got better, but still not good enough.

So more and more stomach aches and so I stopped the medicine again. One of her doctors told me to get some other over the counter stuff to take with everything and I just kind of froze up. I was/am just praying so hard that she doesn't have to be on so many medication. Well, we stopped the meds again and she has not had to be back on them at all - no medicine for almost 3 weeks! maybe more... No complaints of leg hurting, no stomach, no nothing - well maybe her head from time to time. (If you knew how active this kid was you would have a headache too. ha)

So we press on. This is why I use the word "excited". I am excited to see what may have already happened. Either way God is good, merciful, and we will praise Him!

____________________________________________________________________

We finally have a website button for everyone to put on their blog - PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! - that would direct others to our ministry, Speaking Thru Me Ministries. We would so appreciate it!! And the directions are below. Thank you to Charnita for designing it and helping us put it on our own blogs... http://www.charnitasexpressions.blogspot.com/

Save the image to your computer- my pictures
Go to your dashboard.
Then to layout.
Add gadget.
Add picture
go to add picture from computer
browse...
locate picture-
upload and for
No title or caption
for LINK put http://www.speakingthrume.com/
checkmark resize to fit.
Save.

Thank you thank you thank you!!! We praise Him!!

607 - My New Sister

This is a true picture of how wonderful my day has been!!! God sent fireworks before it was dark on this day! Read on!!

************* Go to July 1 to post comment for free flops*****************

I have a new sister. One that I knew I would have some day, but I was not expecting it at this time. How sweet the Lord is to bring her to me at this time!! She is adorable. She is blonde. She is a bit smaller than me. She is cute as a button. She is VERY witty. She is a lover of animals. She is energetic even when it hurts. She loves the friends she loves. I would like to introduce you to my new sister - Sarahjane Louise Gray!!! otherwise known as "Stink Master Jam"!

She came to us last night with a big time crocodile tears wanting to ask Jesus in her heart. She said something about screaming too much and wanting to make a change in her life - how cute. She said she was ready to ask Jesus in her heart. We have gone down the road many times with her, but she could never answer any of the questions right. This time she was on the money - her Sunday School teacher is incredible - Mrs. Brenda!!! We asked her if she wanted to speak to the pastor the next day and she said yes oh yes. We told her to go to bed and pray through it all. She woke up this morning ready to go see Pastor Luke!! He explained it all beautifully and we now have another Sister Christian in our family! Thank you Father - praise you Lord!!

And this is the Stink Master Jam - or another name at this time in her

life is "Jackie" or Jack-o-lantern

After one of Sarahjane's many doctor's appointments the girls and I went to have our toes painted and get new purses - a girl has to have a new purse. I remember carrying one like this when I was small - with my tennis racket of course - and I left it in the shoes store and it was gone when we went back to get it. It was denim blue.

I love how her arm is around her big sissy!! Elleigh, Emmajoy, and Sarahjane!

Here are the toes painted - and one set of hands. Mom, who do think had to be different and get fingers instead of toes??? Yep - SJ!!!!!!!

This is a group of girls and one brave boy that we took to Holiday World! It was a fun, fun day!!

Here is Emmajoy's lucky swimming partner - Stroke! I just hope he doesn't!

It really does dedication to stay the whole time during a swimming match, I mean meet. And the fact that your sister's races are only 25 to 30 seconds long is a testimony to that! These girlies wanted to go swimming so badly too!

605 - Update on My Sarahjane and stuff

I have to say that the way God is speaking to me as of late is very indicative of a new group of messages about to be written. Only difference, I have never written a retreat series without any place to take it. That doesn't matter, I know He is preparing it. It will be something about The Lurker- satan, the difference between temptation and divine revelation in our life, and then finally lining our lives up with the favor or blessing of our Lord - giving Him reason to smack down on our lives a big ole "atta girl"! So I think that will be next week. Life may slow down just a tad - yeah right - and I can write. We shall see.

So I say all that to say the Lord continued my quiet time with Him on into yesterday and truly put my faith to test. Going into the doctors i had a suspicious feeling we were not going to get good news. It was not a "not believing" kind of thing, I think this was a gracious preparation from the Lord. Details are too many, but just trust me that I had my reasons for knowing. So the doctor checked out my girlie and still was not all the way pleased with the way she walks - "Her butt is still up in the air just a bit isn't it Mom?" Does he have to bring it out in the open - this child likes hearing those things and will certainly say it at the most inopportune times!! Ugh!!

Then he sat down in his rolly chair and flew right over to me in my personal space i might add. ha! Then he went on and on about words I was not aware of and jargon that I could not even recite. All i do know is that we are looking at pauciarticulate Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. A very conclusive test came back showing this was the direction we were going in. Now the test is only 60% correct for positive, but the doctor feels very certain this is where we are going!

My mind floated off into a tunnel and I heard not another word from him. Would she ever have children? Would her body begin to deform? Would she be in constant pain? Why does she have to be so tough - she has always had it so rough! Will she live a long life? Will she lose her eyesight? Will she be able to play sports - she is soooooooooo active!! Will she be able to make it on her own?? Oh Lord, I can not bear this - this is too much!! This is my baby girl!

As if I was not myself I began to minister to myself the way I had just talked about that morning in my quiet time - incorrectly. Leigh, He is not going to give you more than you can bear. The Holy Spirit stopped me right there - the doctor is still talking my ear off as fast as possible. "I will not allow people to be tempted beyond what they can handle - why - because I want them to know My power and look to Me to get past and most importantly I am not looking to see my children fail. I am always looking for you to look to Me. The same is true of what I give you to handle or bear. Except... I will almost always give you more than you can bear - I want you to look to me for strength. I want you to look to Me for help and survival. I want you to praise Me before, after and all the way through it! Giving you what you can handle or bear will usually not bring you to me in total faith. I need your total heart, faith, and dependence. You are right, this is more than you can bear and that is what My yoke is about."

Yes, Lord, I understand!! Thank you for taking the time to teach me. Help me to be strong and know how to deal, what to tell, how much to tell, and when to tell. Help us to find the best Ped. Rheumatologist we can in our area - St. Louis, Louisville, Nashville, Indy, or Cincinnati. But as with everyone, we will do anything and go anywhere.

This is the same child we battled Asthma with. After much prayer, fasting, laying on hands, everything the Spirit asked of us was healed to never go down that road again! He can do it again. There is still time for Him to work and come through for her! He is Jehovah Jireh and Raphe!! He can come through! Lord, I am in awe of Your Sovereignty. I am in awe of You. I praise you, Lord. I love you. I trust You! I believe!! My face is to YOU!

***********************does anyone in all this whole world know anyone or have any possibility of turning a cassette tape to CD?? My old church could do it and I need that service again!! Any help? Thank you

604 - Just Stuff, More Than I Can Bear?

There is a famous verse that many people quote incorrectly or I should say out of context. It is the 1 Cor. 10:13 "He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear..." During a difficult time it is very natural to want to think that God is not going to give me more than I can bear because that is the first thing one that can find nothing else to say....says. "Just know it can't get any worse because the Bible says he won't give you more than you can handle." I know those are very well meaning words, but frankly that is not what the scripture says. It says, "He will not let you be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear..." Tempted and just not getting more than you can bear are 2 very different things.

Tempt means to test, tempt by solicitation to sin, entice, allure. That has nothing to do with going through a death, sickness, finances, or whatever. Yes, in those rough times we might be tempted to act in sinful ways, but God letting up on the actual stuff we go through because we think it is more than we can bear just is not what the Word says. Plus, we don't need a rough time to act sinful, we do that just fine in the good times as well!

To my minuscule understanding of the Word, it means that when the opportunity to sin is placed in front of us it is never more than we can't shake a fist at and walk away from. The temptation may seem like it is more than we can bear and not have the ability to walk away, but the scripture says He will always provide away out for escape. Boy , do i love that!! I need to remember this more often when my car pulls into Dairy Queen for a Cotton Candy Blizzard almost on its own... ha ha! Not sure why the Lord brought that to mind today, but I am thankful He revealed to me that Truth!

Today we go for what I am hoping and believing will be SJ last doctor's appointment. We will find out conclusively about the Rheumatoid Arthritis and if there might be anything else. Oh Lord, help me to not be tempted to doubt!!

On Monday - if i can figure it all out - I am going to be having a huge giveaway. I have been given some flip flops from this company - www.switchflops.com and have some things to giveaway. They have been so kind and generous and I really want to help them in their business. Plus, I love love love their products!!! Go check them out, but come back on Monday (or so) to register to win!!

It is official and I will be the varsity tennis coach for the high school girl's team. I am super excited. We have been taking registrations for tennis camp and are about all filled up!! We have opened another week up for older kids - 6th grade and up - and will see if that makes.

So that is about it for now. Got to the get the kids up and ready for the day. Oh, did i tell you I had my first golf lessons the other day? Oh goodness I loved it. And then while my girls were having their tennis lesson I was able to "rent" a pro and hit for about 20 minutes.......................... oh it felt so good too!!! I miss all that too! Those days will come back soon enough. Let's just hope i still have a shoulder... my cuff is hurting just a bit!! ha ha! I am a wimp!

600 - Just Praise Him!

Dear Lord, I need the prayers of friends, neighbors, relatives, strangers, and ... anyone!! The last week of school my Sarahjane - #3 child - told me her underwear were too tight around her groin area of her leg. I excitedly told her, "Yeah, you are growin' in the groin and go get on another pair." She did and that was the end of it. Fast forward to about 1.5 weeks later.

"Mom, my leg hurts really bad right here."

"Sweetie, it seems strange to me too, but you are growing in every place of your body. Just go to bed and I am sure you will be fine in the morning."

She woke up fine and life went on.

This past Monday she woke up limping and hobbling around. Same spot on her right leg, but only hurt for a short time. Tuesday night the limping was pitiful and she was in excruciating pain. Up all night calling and crying out in pain unable to get any real relief. The sun woke up and I rushed her over to Evansville to see the ped.

Concerned as well they sent us straight over to the orthopedic doctor. We took x-rays to look for a septic bone. It was not conclusive and everything looked wonderful - they were calling it a viral infection in her hip - the blood work would tell the truth. They sent us home with round the clock Ibuprofen and little to no movement. Went back to see the doctor on Thursday to get an update. She was almost embarrassingly better - like I had to convince the doctor - this one she had not see yet - that she was not walking the day before and was really bad. He too sent us home with Ibuprofen and little movement.

SO this weekend went by and we did the meds and movement was hard to restrict with it being so beautiful and her feeling quite good. Yesterday morning she begins to hurt again, but not near as bad. We had to another appointment with the ortho anyway so we went. This time he was very concerned saying that she should have been all cleared up and no limping at all. And not complaining of any pain. She is not!!!

Thursday we go in for an MRI and will have another appointment on Friday. Please, please be praying about the MRI. I have no idea how she is going to do. It is so hard to explain to her what it will be like. I have only done it once and it was just for my head - I didn't have to go very far in there. They will be looking for Legg-Perthes Disease. I think that is how you spell it. I did not understand a whole lot other than looking to see if there is not adequate blood flow to that bone area and if the bone has died. I do not know what could happen, I have not looked up anything on the "net". I really had rather take one step at a time!

We will be gone all day today at a water park. I pray she is able and has fun. She should be fine and she is so excited! Not knowing the future or possible surgeries, etc. we are going to have a great day!!! Shouldn't we live like this every day?

Thank you for your prayers!!! I love you all, I need your prayers because I know He hears your prayers!!! I love you my Lord. I praise you in this storm! Peace Be Still! You are my Rock!!!

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Jesus Messiah (Chris Tomlin)

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548 - He Just Does....make me proud

I am writing real quick just to say thank you so much for all the emails and comments and prayers! I do feel better. I am on my way to the bed for a long winter's night and awesome weekend ahead. I go to St. Louis tomorrow to pick up Leslie - I am so excited to see her. It has been almost a year since we last hugged. You know girls and huggin'. I will take lots of pictures!

I got a weird check in the mail yesterday for $85. It is legit, but just not something I was expecting or waiting for. So I feel like that was the Lord's way of allowing me to help out a sister wanting to go to the ministry conference.............just couldn't do it on her own! So He provided and I am so thrilled to be able to give that to Nicki at www.ThreeGirlygirlz.blogspot.com on behalf of Speaking Thru Me Ministries. I do not tell you that for any other reason than to encourage others and hopefully challenge a few too. Anyone else want to step up to the challenge and help a sister out? I know He will provide for her - He always does and He just does! Love for you to help her - thanks!

We are almost 99% sure we sold our house. They accepted our counter offer and are going to look over the house one last time before sending us the formal offer. They do it differently here in Illinois! But praise the Lord - we have something to work with!

I talked with the superintendent and we are able to start the new schools on Tuesday. Illinois or at least Southern Illinois has some kind of holiday on Monday - some Pulaski guy or something... so we will start on Tuesday. House is so close to being done I can taste it!

My youngest daughter sang in a preschool program tonight, but it was during the regular PTA meeting at Carmi. (That will get the parents there!) Anyway - my 2nd youngest, SJ, is going to be going to this school we were at tonight. Some of the Carmi kids spotted her and asked her to go visit their classroom since they know she will be there in a few days. Next thing I knew they had lined SJ up and she was on stage singing songs with a class she didn't know and songs she really didn't know either. But here is the kicker - she loved it and acted like she was supposed to be there. She just waved at me and smiled like - Ha ha mom, you can't come get me down now. This is so Sarahjane!!!

One last story - I really am proud- I promise!! My Tucker - 9 year old in 4th grade. He can make the momma proud. He is finally into girls. He has the sweetest little girlfriend that just smiles all the time and is just a terrific little girl! Great family and parents! Anyway - i was getting kind of nervous for him and Valentines. He wanted to do something, but knew it would kill him to actually walk up and talk and give something to her. So I asked if I could get her something and he could just have another friend pass it to her. Bless his heart! Well, I, the good momma, did not want to over do it - got him a tin valentine with a cookie in it. Very sweet simple and probably good. He is a boy and does get hungry and loves chocolate chip cookies. So after many days of cancelled school I put the valentine in his bag to give to her. He takes it to lunch and told me he just could not help himself. He opens up the tin and eats the cookies. I was ready to stop there and offer to go get her something else since he ATE it. Then to top it off, he proceeds to tell me that he folded up the wrapper and put a note in there explaining that he had gotten really hungry and could not resist AND gave that to her instead!! He ate her valentine. (This is soooooooooo my boy.) But it gets better. He had a friend draw a picture of a squid and put her head on the top of the picture. Then wrote Happy Valentines Squidney. Holy cow.............. Should I apologize to the momma? hee hee - after i thought about it for about 4 seconds remembering that he is in 4th grade I was actually very proud of him! He is in 4th and does not need to get all doped out about a girl yet. He was honest about eating her treat and did have a friend draw a picture. I think it is a good thing!! ha ha!!! I am such a boy momma!

JUST GO WITH ME HERE....

OK - every morning after i have my time with Lord Jesus, i get the kids up and ready for school. I am so much nicer if things do go in that order. Trust me!! SO then I get to sit down and read what my other favorite bloggers have studied that morning or wrote at various times the day before. OK - now just go with me for a minute, i am halfway being silly..................

You know what it is like when someone makes mention of you or acknowledges you or something along those lines.......... you or at least I begin to think there is a connection or we are at least now best friends. Remember i am just half kidding... But it really makes you feel good that they mentioned you or said hey or even called or came by to talk. It doesn't take much to really excite me or make me feel special. EX) the other day my own church put in their bulletin that i was doing a conference just down the road at another church, Star. Then to top it all off, my own preacher announced it from the pulpit and everything. I was just blown away. It was one thing to put it in the bulletin, but to announce it - that just does not happen where i am from!!!!! I am not so excited because it was announcing of me, but that it was a woman's thing... like i said that just doesn't happen where i come from. so.................................... I am going somewhere with this.............

I sat down to read my favorite blogs and came to Beth Moore's blog. She mentioned in her post a comment i had made about my own Sarahjane........................ here is the flow of it...........

Here is the post from her daughter Amanda that i posted a comment to.......

The Critical Moment
There is a twinkle in time that the Moore girls like to call the critical moment. The critical moment occurs in the seconds between getting your hair exactly how you want it and then sealing it with hairspray. The Moore world stops spinning during the critical moment. Those present must not speak loudly, make requests, or get in the way while the process is happening. Those not present must not, Lord help them, interrupt the moment with a phone call. Melissa and I know that Mom is not Mom during the critical moment. But she will be right back...with great hair. Since I largely stopped using hairspray (gasp!) a few years ago, I've ceased experiencing the critical moment. However, the Lord saw what was lacking in my life and provided a new critical moment. This takes place each morning during my son's bath time. I start running the water and then take him to the changing table to get him ready for his bath. Here's the critical moment: I rush with my naked (or nekked, if you prefer) baby to the bathtub and try to get him in there before the cool air on his bare skin causes the tinkle effect. But this morning I got the bath water too hot and missed the critical moment. Baby was on my left hip, my right hand was trying to mix the cold water in as fast as possible, and I felt the unfortunate sensation of my waist being sprinkled with tee. So I guess you could call that a tinkle in time.

Then here is my comment -
Leigh Gray said...
As my kids have gotten older - oldest is 8 only for a few more days (boo-hoo, well sort of) - I find there are many critical moments that rear their head at the most inopportune time. Like when my Sarahjane - the most outspoken of all 4 - sees someone that might be a few pounds overweight. She has exclaimed before, "Mom, do you ever think your bottom will be that big?" Or the time she asked a woman if she knew she had all those wrinkles on her face. Yes, i crawled under the buggy and let the older ones push me to the car... ha ha Please know that I am trying, but sometimes those critical moments escape before i have the time to reel them back in or shall I say - ESCAPE!!Critical moments change as we change - for better or for worse...Have a terrific day and do keep blogging!

THEN here is the comment from Beth Moore..............

I got on the blog a few minutes ago and read your comments to Amanda's entry on critical moments. I got so tickled that I nearly called up the Grande Non-Fat Cappuccino I had right after lunch. You are so funny. Delightful. No kidding. A few minutes earlier, I wanted to stop what I was doing, lay my head down on my desk and cry HARD. As God would so lead, instead, I clicked open the blog, read what you had written, and laughed my head off. I could quote from 25 of them but how about little Sarah Jane noting that one of mom's friends had gained a few pounds and asking, "Mom, do you ever think your bottom will be that big?" Do you just LOVE younguns'? The little dickens are humbling, aren't they? I make it a point to surround myself with a whole mess of them.

So i guess one would conclude that I am now Beth Moore's new best friend - she just doesn't know it. Hee hee = what a great day!!!

282 - Promises, Promises

Heavenly Father - What a wild weekend, but lots of fun. Friday night was celebrating Melissa's birthday. Saturday was basketball games and setting up for the Carnival intermittently. Then at 3pm I picked up all the cakes that had been dropped off at my house and off to the school to help set up everything else. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed it, but I didn't have much responsibility other than the Cake Walk. So we did that all night and then went home to eat a sandwich with Alisha and Paul. Then on Sunday we went to church - awesome again - then the preacher and his family, Chad and Dawn and their 4 girls - came over for lunch. That was a great time too. What incredible people. So real and fun and not preachy! ha ha The rest of the afternoon was spent fishing and eating. Oh goodness - another weigh in today. Yikes. So busy, yes, but loads of fun.

This morning I have come to a scripture that is just awesome. 2 Samuel 7:1-16. Samuel has died quite a while ago and now Nathan is David's prophet and confidant. David is concerned that the Ark of God is in a tent and yet he sleeps comfortably in a palace every evening. Just doesn't seem right to David. So he sets out to change that. Sounds like a really noble thing - sounds like something that God would honor - sounds like something that would be in His will - sounds like something that is completely normal and like a obvious thing to do. BUT God tells David No - no, you will not be the one to build My House. It will be from your offspring, but not through your hands. David was a man of war, and that was a good thing. But he was not the man to build a temple.

Isn't that the craziest thing. David is trying to do a good thing, noble thing, honorable thing - but God says no, this is not your purpose. And God even says I will protect you from here on out and your wars will cease for some time, yet with all this peace and what seems like a perfect time to be building a temple, God says Nope, It is not you, buddy! Oh Lord, how many times do I look at my surroundings instead of Your Word to know what it is You want from me. Everything looks perfect and it seems like the stars are lined up just right - I AM KIDDING - but things do look perfect, but if I would tune into God more clearly I would know perfect surroundings are just a mask for great destruction.

God was gracious enough to not just tell David no. He went on to explain through a wise person, prophet Nathan, that his offspring would be the one to build a temple. And we all know that was Solomon - another one of my "favs" who wrote the book of Proverbs and Song of Solomon. Lord, I have to always keep that in mind. There are things that You have impressed on my heart and may really happen, but it may not be through me, it could be one of my kids or grandkids. What an even greater joy. Of course we all think in very positive terms when imagining the future of our kids. I am certainly no different.

Tucker is so internally intense and such a perfectionist. He has a very strong work ethic and very sensitive to those around him. We have made him quite selfish - plus having 3 sisters - and so that really needs to be controlled. He has much self-confidence and pride - not so sure about that either. I know we want some... I could certainly see Tucker being a great leader of a team, company - I am not sure he is made for sales - something that is out front and yet requires much behind the scenes work or concentration - a pitcher... after all God you did make him a lefty!

Emmajoy is going to be a wonderful momma - oh i pray she's afforded that gift. She is tender and takes care of all those around. She is very laid back for the most part. She is mostly a perfectionist as well and very studious. She is not concerned so much with winning, but having a great time. She loves to be loved and loves to love on everyone. She likes a crowd, but does not have to be the center. She does not give up once she has the confidence to try something. Emmajoy will be Tucker's greatest cheerleader until her boyfriend plays on the opposite team. Emmajoy loves to "write" songs and express herself artistically - quite the drama queen. I could see Emmajoy leading worship some day.

Sarahjane has got some fight in her. She will not give up and will have her way. She is prankster and so much fun. She is very crafty and has a way with her words. She may be the most sensitive of all, but rarely lets you see her hurt or cry. She is daring and adventurous. She is a dog-whisper and likes to have just one friend. Sarahjane has more common sense than me at 34, but i think school will be a struggle for her. She will be able to do it and is very smart, but it will be all in the way the teacher presents it. I could certainly see Sarahjane practicing law or a speaker herself. This woman has great passion.

Elleigh is a performer. She loves an audience or at least imagining one. She is a love bug, but very determined. She can dig her heels in and try not to be "broken". She is still too young for me to imagine much. She is very big and strong for her age. I am hoping she will get off this cheerleading kick and pick up a basketball.

Oh Lord, you have a plan for them all. I know it is plans to prosper and not to harm. Plan for a hope and future. Oh Lord, let them be followers of You and sold out!!! May my dreams and hopes for them never ever come between what You have for them. May they begin to discern Your voice early and then walk in Your way. Lord, take up the slack where i fall terribly short. May they praise You and live for You in spite of me and my shortcomings.

260 - Sarahjane

Lord, I come to you for wisdom this morning. On Sunday I went to pick up Sarahjane from her wonderful SS class. The place she goes while we have worship and service. The teacher pulled me to the side and made a comment that Sarahjane had asked to be saved that morning. I immediately was shocked and said, "Really?". She said,"Oh yes and I really believe she was very sincere. " It is not her age that shocks me, my other 2 were around the same age, a little older, but that Sarahjane would ask to do that without me there. She is the shyest of all 4 and really relies on my encouragement and guiding.

So Sarahjane has been asking a to about being a Christian "like Emma and Tucker. Mom, I want to be your sister too." So i would ask her questions to see if she has any level of understanding, and there is none. She can not really tell you why we need to be a Christian, just that she wants to. No understanding of sin or why Jesus died for us. Not much at all. But here is the kicker, as i was choralling my kids for the door, I bent down to hug SJ and asked her what she did in class today. She told me everything except that she had prayed to receive Christ.

At lunch and on the way home I questioned her again. She still never would come clean. This worried me. So many times i have told her she was just not ready. God would call her someday when she understood a bit more, but I just didn't think she was ready. I know - How can anyone know when someone is ready to receive the Lord - I don't know, but I do know my child.

I thought it was very interesting that she would not tell me. She did later after I flat out asked her. It means to me that she possibly still knew it was not her time, but she had a captive audience that would take her down the road. But at the same time - How do I know? It was very clear and obvious with the others. I know she does not have to have all the answers that is my responsibility in discipling her. But i need think there needs to be more of an understanding.

Father only you know. I will not have her baptised yet. That has nothing to do with salvation as far as confirming your salvation, just an outward expression of an inward decision. This parenting thing is so hard. Am I doing anything right? Am I training them to know You? Not just know you, but want to live for you? So often those that in the ministry have the worst kids - yikes that scares me. I do want my kids to behave, but even more so I want their motivation to be about Him. Guide me Lord.