This too is a post I wrote almost 3 years ago. Still it speaks volumes to me - the WORD never returns void!! Thank you Lord!! This is a tree only a few miles from me. Push through yall - Keep pressing up!
So Lord, You have done it again. I have come to a low place, just wondering if you are going to use me, wondering if i have messed up too bad previously to be used, wondering if you have any use for me, wondering if i can understand what you are doing with me, wondering if you have forgotten me and You have done it again. You have given me a word through my quiet time that speaks life and meaning and healing to my soul.
Isaiah 40:27 were my words yesterday........"My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by God." That is what I was feeling yesterday. Honestly, i don't know what is to come next for me and my life in ministry. I don't know if He will have me speaking on a small scale for my life or if bigger opportunities will come or if any more opportunities will come. I love, love, love being used by Him. I love preparing a message. I love delivering a message. I love speaking to ladies after and praying with them. I love traveling. I love organizing even though i am so not good at it. I love networking and marketing. I love getting that Holy hug from the Lord that says, "well done". I love lifting His name up and praying all will draw closer to Him. I love speaking and listening to the words He causes to come out. I love being in awe of the connections He makes with others. I love seeing the Word come alive and applicable to those around. I love seeing the "I get it" look in the eyes of those around. I love honoring the Father and glorifying His name. I love all aspects to some degree of ministry. HE had me at hello.
So why do i get to feeling like that - the crummy feelings??? It is just doubt and not believing. It is just Satan having a hay day with my mind on a day that i did not begin it with Him. It is just a discontented heart that allows crude to creep in and not stand strong. Oh Lord - it is ugly and it was only ONE day not spent with you first thing in the morning. Oh Lord forgive me for not making you priority yesterday. I can not imagine where I would have been if i went ONE week or more without You.
But as i said before, He did it again. He spoke life through His word because it was opened!!! Isaiah 40:28b states that "his understanding no one can fathom." I am not asked to understand HIS way, just trust them and HIS timing. Verse 29, "strength to the weary and power to the weak." Verse 30 "youth grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall" BUT, verse 31 " those who HOPE IN (believe) the Lord will renew their strength. They will sore on wings like eagles..." I am renewed!! I am ready to soar. I am ready to be used even if it looks totally different than i am used to! Now that is power - what i mean is power in the Word. I was down yesterday and just by getting up and spending a couple of hours with the Lord I am pumped!!! Oh Lord, thank you!! You are incredible.
The picture of the tree is my life!! I am growing out of the walls i have built up. I am believing beyond my wildest dream. I am growing up in Him and going to fly. I am going to push through my unbelief and stretch up to meet Him. I am going to be a resting place for those young in the faith supporting them and pushing them too towards Him. I will flourish and I will be strong. He is my maker and He is the maker of all. He has plans for me!!!! Trials may come, bad days may surface, doubt may seep in, but I will believe. I will push through!! I am BELIEVING!Praise you, Lord, Praise YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and only YOU!