527 - Take it to heart!

Please tell me how this speaks to you - what are you convicted about in this? Leigh

Satan's Convention
Unknown Author

Satan called a worldwide convention. In his opening address to his evil angels, he said, "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken". "So let them go to their churches; let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that relationship with Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!" "How shall we do this?" shouted his angels. "Keep them busy in the non essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds,"he answered."Tempt them to spend,spend,spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles".

"Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon, their home will offer no escape from the pressures of work! Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive. To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."

"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs,sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes. Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines so the husbands will believe that external beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. Ha! That will fragment those families quickly!"

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out in nature to reflect on God's wonders.Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy! And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions. It was quite a convention. The evil angels went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and there.

214 - Burn the Bitterness, I promise

Holy God - It has rained a lot and been kind of grey. Please bring us some sunshine. It really has not even been that cold. The girls have enjoyed our walks to the post office and Wonder Market. SJ wanted to run yesterday and so I wondered if people thought i was out running my 3 and 5 year old. They did well though, but on their account.

This morning's devotion really hit home. We are in I Sam. 1:9-18. This is great stuff and very convicting. First of all Hannah takes her bitterness straight to the Lord. She is very hurt and frustrated, and probably has nowhere else to turn nevertheless she does take her pain to the Lord. How many times do i take it to Clay or a friend first? Ugh - I know how wonderfully You can restore my heart, but for some reason i like to panic with a visible person - very fleshly, literally. I also love the fact that she does it right there in front of everyone. She is real and not afraid to show her hurt. Well, it may not be that she is not afraid, but did not remain fake in front of people. How cool - i know too many people that hide everything. There is a time to save the pain for home or private, but there is also a time to let it out and allow those around the opportunity to minister to you. One friend of mine had a miscarriage and never told a soul. At the time we knew she was dieing inside, but we had no clue how to minister and help her through it all. It was her choice and one that is her decision, but having already gone through a miscarriage myself I could empathise and encourage specifically. We as ladies have got to take down our shield and be real, be honest, and be vulnerable. It is OK, we will survive. If not anything else and yet the greatest of all, you will draw others closer to Him by being real and translucent. Others may think you are crazy for a time as Eli did with Hannah, but explaining our pain and not bottling it up will set you free.

After Hannah explained herself her countenance changed. We have to remember the order though. She cried out to the Lord and then talked it through with a "friend" or really just an authority. I had a situation since i have moved here with an old friend. I prayed it through and then talked it over with my friend Courtney. But fessing up my feelings and sin made it so much more freeing. Walking tall is so much better than living being tormented by bitterness in the heart. Lord, you are so amazing how You work and restore - my Redeemer. Incredible.

So now back to her prayer. This was a big time prayer. She promised God that if He gave her a son she would take care of it until it was time to release him to be trained for service. That means that she would nurse him until weening and then give him back to be raised by the church. Can you believe that? The most prized possession she is asking for and then being willing to give him back. Wow - I am not sure i could be so faithful. But the promise, she kept it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is the kicker! I have made many promises and not kept them once the prayer is answered. How terrible, but then again how gracious of our Lord to keep blessing and hanging in there with me. I would have thrown me to the curb a long time ago.

I made a commitment to the Lord in reference to selling our house that i have not held up my end. In the shower last night the Lord reminded me of that. Is that not the coolest thing that keeping a promise and commitments is the very core of my devotion this morning. You are speaking loud and clear, Lord Jesus - I will respond!! Father forgive me for floundering and yes i can give You many excuses, but I know You had rather not go there. You know my heart any way.

Final thoughts - i found this is my Bible, I don't think it is my words - who knows... Hannah was setting herself up for success and her offspring. A leader is made by the product of providence, product of prayer, and product of purpose. That is our man Samuel, but it is our woman Hannah that did the grunt of it through our Lord. Wow - am i praying enough for my kids?

Going to the high school game tonight and then hanging with new friends, but have got to workout the sore muscles first - again. Should be a great time. I love you, Lord. I recommit my commitments to You. Sounds kind of funny!

205 - Gray/Graham dinner

One of my most favorite things that i am going to miss terribly is dinners with the Grahams. This was my very first friend when we moved to Charlotte. We were inseparable and with a bond that is unlike any other. I loved the Grahams so much because we could just pop over there and have dinner with no questions asked. I could just call Ginger and say - can we come over and hang out? Ginger and i both worked in the beginning and would meet every other day to do aerobics at our church. Clay and her husband Todd would play basketball. Todd was much shorter than both Clay and I, but he was the fastest man on the court. Clay always said he was a really smart player and loved being on Todd's teams. Todd never missed a shot! Clay and TOdd were quite a pair standing together!

The Grahams are the most real couple we could ever know. Ginger taught me everything about mothering and was just a wonderful example of being a wife too. Ginger would love on all people and make everyone feel so comfortable. Everyone loves Gingee - that is what i have always called her.

One would never find us without them in the beginning - church, SS, shopping, dinners, dates, movies, sports, i mean everything!! But then kids started to come. We have 7 kids between the 2 of of us. It was fine and manageable until the kids started school. Our kids went to separate schools - regret of mine - and we began to see less and less of one another because of bedtimes, kids activities, etc. Clay and I also started teaching a SS class, nearly/new marrieds, and that was another time diversion. So after about 7 years of never being separated, we went through a rough time of not seeing each other very often except through the halls of the church on the way to drop off kids here and there. There was never any rift and never any bad feelings, just sadness because our lives had gone in different directions and yet the way i believe God ordained it.

Both our husbands grew by leaps and bounds spiritually in our 3 year friendship separation. I don't mean we never talked or whatnot, but we just were not attached at the hip and that was hard. There was always a love for the Grahams and always immediate connection if we saw them in the halls. I knew I could always call Ginger for any advice and could count on her in a minute to do anything or be anywhere. But the last 2 years we both have been very intentional about getting together and hanging out and being more faithful in phone calls. It was if the Lord told our hearts a real end is coming.

So last night was wonderful - dinner at the Grahams. Just like normal i brought a few things, she rigged up a few things from her house and then we laughed and cooked and played with the kids. The guys grilled out and shot baskets. The kids ran all over the house playing and having a blast. We ate with many complaints as normal and then sat at the dinner table for hours. Then we cleaned and the guys went out to get dessert. Before they moved it was always Dairy Queen. But last night it was Krispy Kreme. Then in normal fashion for a last time, we sat on the couches and just talked, played games, were the most comfortable i have ever been in someone else's house. Of course we all hugged as we said good-bye, we always did that, but this time it really hurt. I cried all the way hone and even now as i type. If i had no tears or sadness then something would be wrong with me. But this pain, one that i remember so vividly - every time we moved when i was growing up - is nothing new. While it is nothing new, the pain never gets old!

Some things i will never forget with Ginger and Todd:
- we did weight watchers, well sort of, together.
- we started our Mary Kay business and ended the business together in 2 months or less.
- we Christmas shopped together
- we drove to St. Louis together for a wedding
- 2 cycles in a row we had 4 children exactly one year to the day apart.
- vacations in Myrtle Beach
- trips to Fripp Island
- she taught 2 of my girls preschool
- moved 5 times between the 2 of us.
- endure a church ordeal of both being wrongly accused.
- laughing until we about peed in Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
- laughing until we peed on my story of Clay's runaway wheel chair
- crying just because we wanted to and feeling completely comfortable to do that!
- exchanging Christmas gifts
- garage sales
- dinners and sleepovers
- 7 pregnancies and 1 miscarriage together
- greatest babysitters in the world
- etc.............................

What i regret the most is the times i know i must have hurt Gingee's feelings for one reason or another and still don't know about it. I know i must have said many things off the cuff that hurt her and yet she would never say anything. So if she ever reads this - I am sorry for anything and everything that might have ever hurt you! I regret not staying in contact for those 3 years and making more of an effort to not let schedules divide. I regret not going on more vacations with them. I regret not going to the same school as they did. (I LOVE our current school, but i would have loved to follow Ginger around and do that stuff together too.) There will always be things we both regret, but we can not live in those. I will live in the memories and the time that God blessed me with the greatest friend ever. From place to place to place i have lived God has always given me such awesome friends. But this one stands out because of all the things we have gone through together. AND because it was a family friendship - not just a woman to woman friendship. We loved each other, husbands loved each other, and kids loved each other. It was perfect and is perfect!! Praise the Lord!