Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Leader, then Lead!

Any where the kids and I go, someone has to claim the position of leader. It usually causes some kind of fight or at best mean looks and long sighs, but usually some trouble! This morning as I woke up again at the crack of dawn I did my morning routines like walking the dog, QT, and getting the kids fed. We had an extra thing to throw into the circus this morning. I had to take all 4 to the dentist and be there by 8am. The appointment went really well and it is the coming and going that usually an uproar is sure to happen. Getting in the car, SJ decides that she wants to shut the door because she is the leader. She had not made this self-proclaimed position known to all of us so when she demanded to shut the door because she was the leader (in her mind) it caused a ruckus!! Tucker was trying to force her in her carseat. I am yelling - yes, I said it - yelling for her to get to her seat, Elleigh is screaming for her to go on, and EJ is crying because she has another cavity!! The problem would have been so much easier if we had known SJ was the leader and would have expected great things from her.

Then as we were walking through the school halls dropping EJ and Tucker off to their classes, SJ decided once again she was going to be the leader AGAIN with out a verbal proclamation!! UGH!!!! I was walking along side of her and we are motioning for Elleigh to hurry up just a bit. I begin to walk faster as if to walk off and leave Elleigh - one of those things you learn in mommy school - and then freak show began. SJ started whinnying about not going ahead of her and walking too fast and not respecting her leadership. Well, that is not what she said, but I think that is what she meant. The trouble once again is that she had not made a formal verbal proclamation of her new position.

You know God can not let me just have those 2 incidents and just go about my day. I must learn something from them. I have been in situations where I was perceived as the leader and I didn't even know it or was unaware of that position. When this has happened I have found myself to always disappoint people and hurt feelings. I didn't know they were looking to me for instruction, directions, etc.. and thus this is where the conflict began! Or another very possible predicament I have found myself to be in is one of taking on leadership that I had no business doing. I did not have the maturity nor the knowledge in leading the group and thus conflict begins there as well.

I am deeply involved in the college female leadership at our church. I want more than anything for these ladies to step up and do the work God has called them to with great sincerity, great purity, great intensity, great honor, and great passion. I hope they realize through our last few months on the study of Nehemiah that leadership is huge!! One must take on that position with much bowed, humble, and earnest prayer and yet still stand confident (even when you feel less than adequate) that you have what it takes to get the job done. There must be a strong team that you gather around you for support. They must "buy" into your passion and be willing to pick up the pieces and carry on your endeavor if you passed on the next day! A leader must be one to confront the conflicts and not be afraid to speak very FEW wise words. A leader must pave the way and participate in all. A leader must go above the call and do more than asked. A leader must be the greatest servant of all. When the leader begins to demand servants and service then they have lost all focus and respect!!! It is a fine line between delegations and demands.

SJ's leadership style has some working to be done!! She needs to be appointed her position and not just claim it. She needs to gather a team to support her. She needs to make sure others respect her position and agree she is the one for the job. I need to see a prayerful attitude in her! I want to see her be more vocal in her expectations and delegations. Boy - we have got a leader on our hands, she just needs to be mentored!!! ME TOOOOOO!!!!!

Maybe I could write a book one day called "She-emiah Ladies in Leadership, but Under His Authority! Don't anyone steal that!!

If you are a leader, then lead!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

angela said...

That is so what I am learning with leading this Ecuador trip. All feelings that you described but especially that of inadequacy. But I'm also confident in KNOWING that God has put be in this position. The verse I am praying for my leadership is prov. 3:3-4, "do not let mercy and truth forsake you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, so that you might find favor in the sight of God and man." mercy AND truth, that's the key, a balance. that is so hard! If I'm doing good with mercy Im bad with truth or vice versa, but Im learning. and that is how you find favor in the sight of GOD and MAN!! favor in your team!
thanks for that! I love you!