Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Happy Valentine's - one day late

Dear Lord, Good morning and hello! It was a cold morning out there running! But it is so great to get it over. I so appreciate you setting the moon out so full and bright. I get really scared in the dark running by myself, but you have given me your beautiful creations to light my way - even street lights that work from time to time! Thank you!

Yesterday, the day of Love, was great. I got a new washer/dryer and refrig. We have a few other updates coming as well this week or next. We are getting the house ready to sell and these would just be added features!! Lord, I wonder when you will really get us to Nashville. This is hard waiting and staying focused to Charlotte when I don't know when I could be setting off. And then what happens if we never do get to go. Do you think that could happen to? I am having a hard time distinguishing between a desire to go and a true peace that it really will happen and resting in that and believing in that. Give me scripture as to one way or the other Lord. (For the first time ever I was excited to do clothes!)

Thank you for the love I feel in my home. It can get so loud and busy and furious and frantic and frustrating and all that!!! But I think my kids are happy and joyful and have an understanding of what we are about and feel loved. I know I have a lot of time left to mess up even more than I have, but for today it feels like a good home! Thank you Lord. You have brought Clay and I so far. I mean we have always wanted to Christian home and wanted to be a good examples and live what we talked, but as more and more kids came commitments have gotten harder and harder. Not so much staying commited, but which ones do we stay true to and which commitments do we let go! Lord, continue to guide us!

Father I am leaving for New Orleans at 4am on Thursday morning! I am really pumped as I will be going to speak to a Mary Kay convention kind of thing. I know Satan is already allowing me to feel a bit self-conscious, or let me say that better, I am listening to the lies of Satan saying I will not measure up. The leader has already reassured me in a different kind of way that they truly looks the heart and not outward appearance as in I Sam. 16:7. I think that is so neat that she was able to encourage me and I have not even gotten down there to do the ministering through Him! This is a different kind of group and I am excited He thought enough of me to give me this opportunity! Thank you Jesus!

Lord, I have really felt your sifting lately. It has been tough to see the yuck you have brought up and have wanted to pitch. I thank you for the discipline and the love you have also shown. I have needed to hear your words, but also feel your acceptance. You have blessed me in ways these last couple of days that I just cannot put it no words!! Thank you and Praise you!!!!!!!!!

Here is a random thought!!! I had no idea much about Satan other than I wanted to stay away... But you have shown me some scripture in my study yesterday... Ezekiel 28:11-17 WOW - he was beautiful and wise and even a model of perfection. But there was wickedness found in him!! The whole plan on mankind, of sending a Jesus, and creation just makes me so overwhelmed I just need to have some cookies and relax! Just joking, I am just so in amazement and confused and in awe of how you did all that and WHY!!! You wanted us to see your glory and then to eventually see the pinnacle of your glory - Jesus and His death!! WOW...

Lord, thank you for this morning! Thank you for your love and your control and for being in the driver's seat. Please don't let me ask you to scoot over ever again!! That is no fun!

I love you always!

1 comment:

melanie said...

your heart is beautiful! i'll be praying for you this morning and this wkend. melanie