Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Changes - so hard!

I noticed I have not blogged in a while. There have been lots of things going on in my life and when I get so many things going on in my mind, I tend to shut down because I don't know what to write about first. I must make this my prayer as I am really just talking to the Lord now anyway.

Lord, the Nashville situation is not looking so good. What looked like something that could not NOT happen is looking very bleak and dim! It seems like the company in Nashville that my husband and his partner want to buy is just not ready to do the deal. He needs 6-8 more years and we want tomorrow, but are willing to compromise to 18 months. But that is not something this man can or will do. So, what now Lord. I hurt more than anything for Clay. All he wants is to be close to his family. Can you blame that? Of course I want to be closer to mine as well, and this looked like the perfect opportunity!! I am not ready to give up, my Lord!! I still want to have hope you can make another thing happen. Please do it and quick, if I really had my way. I was reading in Your Word this morning about the demon possessed boy that the disciples could not exercise(?? Is that how you spell it). The bottom line Jesus told them was that it was a lack of faith and prayer. I don't believe you can separate those. And I think that is what the Lord is calling us, Clay and I, to. We must believe and then in the believing, ACT! This is the hard part for me. I am real good at doing, 'acting' - I don't mean being fake, but actually doing something. It is hard for me to just pray. Oh that sounds so terrible to say just pray. Obviously it is extremely powerful or God wouldn't have said it was the reason this boy was not free. But I want to do other things as well. Lord, help me to pray more and sit at your feet more and not "do" so much!!

Lord, my new friend Melanie is going to help me edit a book proposal. So my cousin, the gorgeous Heather Hargis, and I are going to team write it and see what happens. We will be able to present it to many publishers this She Speaks and that is just huge!! Maybe we can get a bite. Otherwise we are going to go down the self-publishing road. So that is a cool thing. Guide us both! Thank you!

There are so many things at Proverbs 31 Ministries that I am dealing with. The ministry is just a huge deal in my life and I want to see it grow. The exposure that I am getting just because I am related to them is awesome. I am sure so many churches would not have me if I didn't not have Proverbs. My husband does not think so, but I do! I want to see it grow and I want to see it be healthy financially again. Lord, bless the efforts of those there. We are trying to figure out the best things to do next. So many want to see about going down the Christian cruise road, I would love to put together a confereence that is not as specific as She Speaks, but just a women's retreat kind of thing, and others like myself even have bigger dreams. We all want to reach more women for Christ. People are hurting bad!! Women are suffering! Guide me Lord. I want to be bold in my statements, but with much respect.

I don't know the latest with Nigeria! There has been lots of unrest and even killings. It really makes me scared, and I want to do your will. What are you calling me to? Please be clear. Maybe it was Niagara Falls - ha ha!

And lastly, the Nehemiah Mission. I did go speak to the big event in Spartanburg. It was my biggest, besides college, ever! 500 ladies!!! And get this, I would say nearly half were not even from that church. It was incredible. It was run like a well-oiled machine!! I mean incredible!! Lord, can we do that here?? Could it ever be possible?? Please guide my next steps... I need to talk with Bob Spence! I have already received 2 events just from that one event!! Thank you Lord.

Lord, shape me! Change me!! Keep me and mold me!! I want to be yours faithfully found! What do you want of me? What am I holding on to? What can I give up for you? What are you requiring? Mark 11:24 - Please give me more opportunities to do what you have called me to do! I ask all this in Jesus Name!! I love you Lord!

1 comment:

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