Thursday, June 01, 2006

Fleeing from my King Saul

Oh Lord, I feel your conviction today and want to confess my sin to you! Lord, my sin is so great and yet no different than any other day. I know you are cleansing me and setting me free from some bondage and I thank you and praise you for that. You have led me into a disciplined time right now and I thank you and praise through it all. I know refining is still at the work of your hands and that restoration, the song over my life right now is infiltrating my every cell! Holy Father, you are it and you are my everything. Continue to break me down and push me forward!

Today as I was reading the devotional book on brokenness the author made the cool point about each one of us have a King Saul chasing us and we all have a King Saul within in us that He is stripping away. The author noted that unless God totally broke David and stripped him of it all, there would just be another King Saul, and that was no longer needed on this earth. Not from whom our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was going to follow.

The King Saul in me is so ugly. It is the one that wants to be jealous and seek revenge. It is the one in me that seeks power, prestige, and seeks honor. It is the ugly that can't be quiet, it is the rude that opens her mouth. The King Saul in me is the idol worshipper, it is the uncontented, it is the undisciplined, it is the unmotivated, and bottom line - FLESH!

I can not blame all my King Saul on Satan. I have a part in all my sin. He is there to tempt me and there to pull me away and entice, but I am the one that make the choice and decision and the leap at times into that sin that so easily ensnares! Oh Lord Jesus, change me and make me "wHoly" Yours. Take the ugly and make something beautiful. I am going through my friend and songwriter's song Broken into Beautiful! I know anything You love You break and mend with Your hands and blood to make beautiful again. Keep doing that Lord. Can you allow me to see just a tiny bit of change? Not anything to be proud of, but something to encourage me. There are times I wonder if I have changed at all.

Thank you for revealing my heart and thank you for exposing my sin. I love you my Lord and Reconstructor!

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