Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Begging For Your Mercy

Oh Lord, as I come to You today I am in much need of your grace and mercy - I feel like it is a greater need than normal, but nevertheless there is a need! I am traveling this weekend to Sedalia, MO. and am very excited about it. The messages I am to deliver have been the hardest I have ever had to put together. I do not feel real confident that they are written in such a way that all can understand. I do feel my heart all over the pages, but just wondering if the words are coming forth with passion and clarity. Lord, with a huge surge of grace and mercy would You do a work in me and in these messages so that it is perfect in your sight? Change whatever needs be so that I can get Your words out that will reflect in Your glory and honor! Lord, I pray that Your grace and mercy will meet me at this time and give me confidence that what You have poured into me over many months will honor You, make You proud, and be as of worship to You. Lord, I think I need a miracle here. I want nothing to be about me - but all about You and for nothing but You to be seen. I truly want the ladies to think back and express Wow, God You showed up and You were beautiful! Lord, hear my prayer and come to my rescue!

This same group of messages I will do again the next week in Nashville, Tn. Both Sedalia and Nashville are having a hard time getting the numbers they had hoped for. Lord, You know exactly who this is for so Lord, do what you have to do to get them there and bless all the efforts of those preparing everything! It is a tough job - so please bless them and give them a peace for whomever and how many ever show up! You have purpose and reason - not for us to particularity know, but to rest knowing we have done our part.

I read this morning about trials. We are either delivered from a trial, delivered through the trial, or delivered by the trial straight into His arms - all from the Daniel study. All three take courage as you enter in whether it be very brief or whether it literally consumes you and you meet Him face to face. Lord, of course I have never personally experience the third scenario or I would not be writing. But I can think of times I have been delivered from the trial/fire. After having many doctors confirm Chrone's disease and then getting back to high school and it gone!! Or how about the time that over and over again I kept having bad pap smears. Then at the end, all was fine!

I feel as if right now I am going through the trial. I can not give specifics, but You are waiting for me to come through. This is one of those times that I feel like obedience is the only thing that will cross me over. I will obey, I just need to be clear on Your leading and method. I am not trying to stall Lord, you know my heart, but I just want to handle things in Your manner and in your time! Speak Lord, please!

Thank you for this morning. Please help Tucker and I to get along better. Having to teach a child respect does not come with great examples or fun experiences. Lord, help me not to want to be his friend, but just his parent. We have time for friendship on down the road. He will never be my friend if we don't get through this part! Help me to not waver with Elleigh. Her three year old defiance has already reared its head and it is tough. Last night I was ready to resign from this house, but my request was not granted due to Clay being out for the night! UGH!!! Truly this is a trial, a long one!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that very well could not end for 15-20 more years, that I don't want to be delivered by into Your arms just yet, but a trial I need to be delivered through! Thank you for Your promises!! I am claiming those today! I love you!

3 comments:

melanie said...

Hi Leigh - praying for you. As alwyas, I love your heart and your honesty. I will pray for your words at this event and next. And oh I can relate to what you said about Tucker, being the parent not the friend. blessings friend

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

I love that you recognize parents get to be friends later down the line, after they get the basics down. Your child will be blessed for that. It's my #1 thing to push when I speak to young moms. Be Moms! I'll be praying your audience is blessed by your speaking.

Erna said...

I appreciated this post. As a mom of a little one about to be three, I can relate to defiance arising . . . we're in it too! I had to chuckle at the comment of wanting to "resign from the house." Ah, I've been there. Thank goodness for the good moments that make it all worthwhile in the trying times.

(Also, thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. I hope to come by and read a bit more when I have some more time. :0)