239 - Circle of Life

Lord Jesus - I was able to see my best friend from college and maid of honor in my wedding last night. Suzanne Brown's father died and the visitation/funeral are in Henderson, Ky only about 1.5 hours from me. I am so thankful i went and was able to love on her at this time. It was great seeing her and she was so strong! Her daddy was very sick and was ready to go. We are thankful his suffering did not last long!

Each day brings something new into our lives. I am not quite ready to move on into the part of life that we begin to bury loved ones. My parents are so healthy and will hopefully be with us from many, many more years. We went to see Clay's grandparents this past weekend in Olney, Il. and they too were doing great. His granddad is over 92, I think, and actually looked great. I don't have any living grandparents.

We never really know how long we have left. I want to live each day to the fullest and experience His joy and love. Lord, I want to spread that joy and love abound. Father when David left on his life of running from Saul he was only 20 years old at best. He had been anointed as the next king and yet was running scared in the hills and mountains trying to save himself from a madman. I can only imagine the words David screamed out - Lord, why me? Why can't I just go back to my home and be a lowly shepherd? If I was anointed and promised to be the king then why am i running and not being protected? The Psalms have many of his conversations with the Lord. Ps. 143 sticks out the most. He often screamed for the joy of his salvation to return. He wanted more of the Lord and to know Him even better.

By no means am i running scared or in danger, so I can hardly compare one single part of my life to this. But i do often feel I am running in circles just looking for the next place to land. When i was with Proverbs 31 it was very easy to dive in and feel connected and continuity in my life. But now that I am on my own there is like a long pause. I am not sure where to plant, I am not sure where to go, I am not sure how to do it, I am not sure when to pursue, I am not sure of many things.

Lord Jesus - today i seek your direction and plan. I don't want to know the far future, I just want to know today what I am to do. I think when I am looking to minister and am prepared to see You, then is the time You are obvious and I am at peace. Lord, your grace and mercy are all I need and want. Thank you for Your power working within me and Your grace that sustains me. I am so thankful for all You have done in my life. I want to see You lifted up and shine! I want to see Your glory. I surrender all my plans, dreams, intentions, motivations, wants, and desires to You. I lay them down and wait for only You. I want more of you sweet Lord. I want to know You so intimately that I never notice my own fleshly desires. I want my ways to align with Your ways and to only think Your thoughts. Lord, I want to be all You have for me and that is to be like You. Change my heart and my thoughts. Make me wholly Yours and completely surrendered to Your plan!

I am hopefully going to make it to Little Chapel MOPS today. The kids have practice tonight and I have got to get to the cleaners. Lord, we had another looker at our house. Lord, could that be the one? As Valarie prayed the other day, bring the person that You have designed for that house. May they be blessed by Your presence there. If i could just tell whomever how wonderfully prayed over that house is and how many awesome tears of joy have been shed on that carpet by so many young women. Oh Lord, for that reason alone the house would be such a blessing to someone. You are there, but it is going to take the right person to know that and feel Your presence there! Lead them to the house - You are waiting on them!

Protect Clay as he is traveling. The kids are praying for a dog. Hopefully my brother's dog will be pregnant soon. And I am specifically asking for 2 more engagements to add to my 2007 calendar. I am praying He will do this in February. The neat thing is that my kids are praying for it too. Emmajoy is faithful to pray - she doesn't give up! I love you, Lord.