Thursday, September 20, 2007

437 - Jealous God

Lord Jesus - another great night of rest. Thank you!! I think I was off to dream land by 10pm or there after. All I know is that my head hits the pillow and I am done. Thank YOU! Lord, thank you for hearing my prayer for kids in Tucker's class at church. We had 3 extra boys and 5 or 6 girls. It was a tremendous turn out. I do know, no questioning it here, that I am not made for Children's ministry. I know, I know, I know I have 4 kids of my own. But it is different, very different. Instead of thinking all the kids were so cute acting out, I get really frustrated. I can not tell if they are connecting. My calling is so much with adults, especially with women! After many years there is no guilt in saying that - I just know where my gift is! Glory to God!

Lord, I am still on this one verse in Exodus, actually the 2nd commandment. It is obviously a very important verse because the scripture not only states the commandment, but then gives a few more verses explaining itself. There is no guessing how serious You are, my Lord, but also what the specifics are as well. Verse 5, says "for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God". Jealousy.............that is one of my most dreaded emotions. It seems to come on at the most inopportune times and something I "seemingly" can not stop at least in thought. I have to quickly take it captive and repent. I can honestly say I hate jealousy. I have seen it completely destroy friendship - either my fault or another's.................hate it!! But it most certainly steals joy!!!

Lord, I understand that you are not jealous of me. There is no way and no how that could happen. Nothing for you to be jealous about with any human. But, You are jealous, from what I understand, for us. It is a holy jealousy. Just like there is a holy anger. Your jealousy is one that is directed at us not putting our sights completely on you - jealous of those things that take our time from you, jealous from those things that steal our joy from You, jealous of those things that we tend to love more than You, etc. It is the idols................. God gets jealous of the idols in our lives that take any and all focus away from Him - AND He has that right, authority, and we should expect that from Him. Your jealousy is perfect as well - now that is a deep thought. All your motives are pure, all your perspectives are clear and even your future is past - you see it all so clearly - so your jealous is always with just cause and perfect!!!!!! You understand what is happening to us as I allow things to take my focus off You. Jesus, help me!!! Put those blinders on my eyes or whatever you call those things they put on a horse. Also put a bit in my mouth to guide me, Lord. I beg of you!! I want to walk in your ways!!!

Speaking of a horse, this verse comes to mind, "His pleasure is not in the strength of a horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those that fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love." Ps. 147:10. Lord Jesus may that be a song you sing over my life. I want to have a greater fear of You. I thank you for changing my desires to have more of you. Keep it growing. As i enter in dry spells, deserts, may I keep pressing on even when I don't feel you. May I keep lunging into the depths DEEPER STILL even if I don't hear from you. May I keep drinking from Your well even if I don't taste anything! I know you are there and I thank you for the times I feel you so closely, but deserts are inevitable! Thank you for those as well. I do put my hope in your unfailing love as the scripture says, but do I really? Help me to do that more. I want you to delight in me, but more than anything I want to be a delight to you!!!

I am yours Lord. Do as you wish! I am excited to be on this journey - there is none like You! I praise you and worship You alone! All glory to your name!!! Thank you for your jealousy that keeps me on the straight and narrow! Amen!!!

6 comments:

Valarie said...

Speak a word on the jealousy sista! Been dealing with that BIG TIME after winning this trip and you know with all Jimmy and I have been thru that I'm not used to people being TRULY jealous of me. I mean like people even cried over it - not for me but because we won! UNREAL!

I'm just so glad God wants to be #1 to us in ALL things and that I've learned that when my focus is on Him I don't have anything to be jealous of! WHEW! He's soooooo good!
Love ya girl.
V

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

This was a good word for me this morning. I had never thought of God's jealosy as being perfect. I KNOW it, but reading this just took it to another level for me.

good word!
steph.

Nicki said...

Oh I'm so glad you were so honest about the children's ministry thing......just last night at church as I was teaching those kindergartener's I was like....OH MY GOODNESS, how disrespectful to the Lord they are being!! But, I had to stop myself and REMIND myself that they are only five years old...I don't believe I'm truly called to work with youngin's forever, but I know that right now it's where I'm needed, so I guess it's where God has called me to serve right now! But I'd MUCH rather be leading a bible study again. But, it's in God's time, not mine.

oh and Valerie...I must confess, I'm MUCH JEALOUS. =) But in a good way!!

Have a great day!

Nise' said...

I can so relate with you knowing that children's ministry is not our area of gifting. It took me years to get over being guilty about it and being thankful for and using the gifts He did give me to minister to others!

Kim said...

I chuckled when I read your realization that children's ministry is not your gift - Be careful what you ask for - He might equip you. LOL You do such a great job with the Ladies - Loved the pictures of the remake of the house - keep us posted - I can't wait to see it decorated for Christmas.

Shonda said...

Leigh,
Thanks for all your posts as you lift up your prayers to the Lord. These posts are so inspirational as well as directional. May you continue to use your life to point to the One who gives Life!
Blessings in Christ--