461 - My Apology to a Huge God

Dear Lord, I want to ask your forgiveness this morning after the conviction of the Spirit has set in. There have been many times in my life and even this morning where I have asked you to be huge or to do big things or to ask you to move in a big way. I am speaking tonight in Salem, Il. and just a few minutes ago in my prayer time I asked you to move in a huge way or do some really big things. I know the limits to myself, I know the fear I have of delivering a message from the Lord, and I know frankly how slammed I have been this week and my lack of adequate preparation!! So it almost feels justified to ask you to be big on my behalf or in spite of me, your lowly servant! This is when the conviction set in!

I read it all the time on the blogs - God be big in this situation - do something huge here, Lord - I need to see your power in this person, God - and many or most of the times the statements have been on my blog. Also, the more and more I get to know You, Father, I realize how little i know causing me to love you more - it is the craziest thing! But one thing I do know is that You displayed a huge amount of grace and mercy and power in dieing for me and because of that You do not have to do one more thing for me! That was enough - or more than enough. So anything that comes in after that is gravy.

I know You ask us to make our requests known to you, but I think what I am feeling you ask me here today is to not ask to what degree You act. I think you are asking me to not predetermine the size of a moving or miracle. I think You are asking me to sit back, wait, and watch what you do and that which is displayed in reference to my life is HUGE! Because you would take the time to answer my requests, move in my favor, to do anything that I would notice or you would have me to notice, and even discipline - that is huge, that is big, that is a miracle!!

I think there is too much of a potential for me and anyone else to get discouraged with God, to be disappointed, to lose perspective when we ask Him to be huge in a situation with the idea of what that huge will look like. If I truly want His will for my life and am seeking Him, once again as Valarie said earlier this week, circumstances don't matter - it is more of Him that we want. So asking Him to be huge in a certain situation is something He always is not so much something He does!! (I think I may have just had an out of body experience - He is sitting right next to me speaking these words and I can hardly type it out. I am not sure I have ever felt His Spirit so close - He has a message for us, or rather me, today!!!! WOW)

Holy Father - forgive me for underestimating you so often. Forgive me for predetermining the outcome to situation and if it doesn't turn out as big as i am expecting taking You for granted. Oh Lord, forgive me for conveying to anyone that reads this that if you don't move in my life in a certain amount of time then You were not powerful or huge!! Forgive me for asking you to be something that you already are and can not in any way be any less! Forgive me for not noticing the breath in my lungs throughout the night that is hugely awesome!! Forgive me for not noticing the beat of my heart that never stop. Forgive me for not noticing your creation and its splendor. Forgive me for not sitting back and waiting on your enjoying your splendor and grace and mercy!!! Oh Lord - you are huge, you are big, your are awesome!!! Forgive me for have great expectation syndrome as i have called it - where i decide what is a suitable anser to my requests and what is big or not. Oh Lord, fogive my finite mind!!!

I love you Lord!! Forgive me!!! Thank you

Ps. 20:6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.

Ps. 147:5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.

Ps. 77:14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.

Ps. 68:34 Proclaim the power of God, whose majesty is over Israel, whose power is in the skies.