528 - He Speaks and I am Blessed

Dear Lord, Thank you for all those that have encouraged me to not give up on ministry and to keep at it. But more than anything I am encouraged by those that commented to me in having the same struggles. I was blown away by the amount of offline comments that were sent my way. Lord, a chord was struck and I pray we all were brought to our knees in a loving worship of you!! Lord, yes, blogging can be used for evil and it can be used (many times if not most) to bring nothing other that attention to ourselves even if it is done in the name of ministry or You, but it very well can be used for Your glory and purpose. That is all i want. My heart at this point is screaming out for your name to be glorified and raised up. I want to be real and authentic, but only to draw others to be the same way with you and thus receive more of your love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, etc.

Jesus, I get afraid many times to share how you have loved on me. But today I have 2 very distinct examples and hopefully will bring much encouragement to all. I hesitate to share just because I don't want others to think He loves me more - He does not! - but also that He may not be speaking to them - He is!! This morning I received a devotion from Pam at http://pathways2freedom.blogspot.com. It was on God speaking this morning and I just knew that was my Lord speaking asking me to share with friends and readers.

I have one of those Mr. Henry Bibles that is really cool for the kids. We try to read a story or 2 every night. It is fun and the kids usually are begging for one of the stories to be read. So after my 'time' with the Lord and all from this weekend we sat down to read on Monday and Tuesday night. Monday night was the story in Genesis about the Lord telling Sarah and Abraham they would have a baby. It didn't seem possible, she was too old, she laughed at the thought, and she took things into her own hands. As i was reading that to the kids in the childish, entertaining words I could hear the Lord speak over me. "You think you are .................(whatever my excuse may be) to not continue on in ministry. You laugh at the idea of Me using you. You have taken things into your own hands before - need i remind you? Leigh, wise up my friend. I am not done and I will do things My way." Yes, sir I hear and I thank you for the reminder. Your love is amazing!

Tuesday night we read the story about Gideon. His army was small, the other guys were so big and numerous and equipped and impressive. Gideon has his ways - all the props - but God took them away one by one. Or rather thousand by thousand! It sure did look like God might have even been setting him up for a major whoopin'. (Does God do that - set us up for a major failure? That is for another day...) Then just as the night before I heard the Lord move a Word over my heart. "Leigh, you don't have a book deal, you don't live near a metropolitan area, you don't have any connections to speak of, you don't have years of experience, and now I have asked you to speak for free. (For those of you that are not in ministry or even if you are, speaking for free give the impression that one is not a valid speaker. Leaves one to think that if there is no fee it must be because she can't demand one. Ugly, ugly, ugly, but quite true. I have personally been told that if i don't ask for this certain amount no one would ever take me serious as a speaker and I certainly would not be given bigger venues.) The Lord continued, "Leigh, I am in control. I have purposely taken away all the props. You trust what I am doing here and know that I have you in the palm of my hands. You know what I have impressed on your heart or even promised to you. Keep your chin up and fight my friend. The battle is waging and you are getting taken down. Stand up and fight - listen to your sisters of encouragement and fight! I will be the lifter of your head and I will raise you up! Sister, get up and get going - fight!! You do have responsibility in this war."

Oh praise you Father!! Thank you for speaking so clearly to me in the midst of mothering. Thank you for taking the time to prompt the friends to encourage me. Thank you for allowing the ones to be free with their own struggles and sharing that with me. Thank you for taking the time to love on me. You speak and I am blessed!! There is none as great as you my Lord. There is nothing as wonderful as serving You. There is no friend sweeter than my Jesus! I love you , Lord. thank you!!