528 - He Speaks and I am Blessed

Dear Lord, Thank you for all those that have encouraged me to not give up on ministry and to keep at it. But more than anything I am encouraged by those that commented to me in having the same struggles. I was blown away by the amount of offline comments that were sent my way. Lord, a chord was struck and I pray we all were brought to our knees in a loving worship of you!! Lord, yes, blogging can be used for evil and it can be used (many times if not most) to bring nothing other that attention to ourselves even if it is done in the name of ministry or You, but it very well can be used for Your glory and purpose. That is all i want. My heart at this point is screaming out for your name to be glorified and raised up. I want to be real and authentic, but only to draw others to be the same way with you and thus receive more of your love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, etc.

Jesus, I get afraid many times to share how you have loved on me. But today I have 2 very distinct examples and hopefully will bring much encouragement to all. I hesitate to share just because I don't want others to think He loves me more - He does not! - but also that He may not be speaking to them - He is!! This morning I received a devotion from Pam at http://pathways2freedom.blogspot.com. It was on God speaking this morning and I just knew that was my Lord speaking asking me to share with friends and readers.

I have one of those Mr. Henry Bibles that is really cool for the kids. We try to read a story or 2 every night. It is fun and the kids usually are begging for one of the stories to be read. So after my 'time' with the Lord and all from this weekend we sat down to read on Monday and Tuesday night. Monday night was the story in Genesis about the Lord telling Sarah and Abraham they would have a baby. It didn't seem possible, she was too old, she laughed at the thought, and she took things into her own hands. As i was reading that to the kids in the childish, entertaining words I could hear the Lord speak over me. "You think you are .................(whatever my excuse may be) to not continue on in ministry. You laugh at the idea of Me using you. You have taken things into your own hands before - need i remind you? Leigh, wise up my friend. I am not done and I will do things My way." Yes, sir I hear and I thank you for the reminder. Your love is amazing!

Tuesday night we read the story about Gideon. His army was small, the other guys were so big and numerous and equipped and impressive. Gideon has his ways - all the props - but God took them away one by one. Or rather thousand by thousand! It sure did look like God might have even been setting him up for a major whoopin'. (Does God do that - set us up for a major failure? That is for another day...) Then just as the night before I heard the Lord move a Word over my heart. "Leigh, you don't have a book deal, you don't live near a metropolitan area, you don't have any connections to speak of, you don't have years of experience, and now I have asked you to speak for free. (For those of you that are not in ministry or even if you are, speaking for free give the impression that one is not a valid speaker. Leaves one to think that if there is no fee it must be because she can't demand one. Ugly, ugly, ugly, but quite true. I have personally been told that if i don't ask for this certain amount no one would ever take me serious as a speaker and I certainly would not be given bigger venues.) The Lord continued, "Leigh, I am in control. I have purposely taken away all the props. You trust what I am doing here and know that I have you in the palm of my hands. You know what I have impressed on your heart or even promised to you. Keep your chin up and fight my friend. The battle is waging and you are getting taken down. Stand up and fight - listen to your sisters of encouragement and fight! I will be the lifter of your head and I will raise you up! Sister, get up and get going - fight!! You do have responsibility in this war."

Oh praise you Father!! Thank you for speaking so clearly to me in the midst of mothering. Thank you for taking the time to prompt the friends to encourage me. Thank you for allowing the ones to be free with their own struggles and sharing that with me. Thank you for taking the time to love on me. You speak and I am blessed!! There is none as great as you my Lord. There is nothing as wonderful as serving You. There is no friend sweeter than my Jesus! I love you , Lord. thank you!!

346 - You Will Be a Blessing

Heavenly Father - the last couple of days have been very rough with the kids. I remember from years back the first few weeks of summer are always kind of tough because the kids are used to doing something 24/7 even if it was school. So just to be at home is no fun, boring, and "you never let us do anything". Well, all that complaining and arguing with me and one another gets very tiring and draining. So now that school is officially out around 8:30am this morning after we pick up report cards, I am already ready to start school again. This can not be!

Lord Jesus - I know part of this is just me. Hormonal time and i am just slap worn out. We have had a very busy weekend and did lots of stuff at the church and all. BTW - the Freedom Rock event at the church was a huge success. It was wonderful and all those involved just blew me away with their generosity and positive attitudes - incredible. Each of the "vendors" or tents or booths whatever you call then - they all paid for their own supplies. Some had hotdogs, hamburgers (one person brought 3000 hamburgers) fresh lemonade that was the bomb, french fries, candied apples, icecream, cokes, fritters, elephant ears, kabobs, tenderloin sandwiches,.................................... I mean awesome!! I was so proud of our church coming together like that and blessing the "city". There were also 2 other churches that joined us. It was another glimpse of the Nehemiah Mission. Oh praise you Lord. Maybe next year more churches will feel an urgency to join in as well.

So anyway back to my spoiled rotten kids. I know that part of it is my attitude and just feeling yucky... I was praying yesterday asking the Lord to give me an idea of something I could for the kids or with the kids this summer that makes it not all about them. I want them to be a blessing - yes oh yes to me, but to others as well. This morning it was the first thing on my mind when i jumped (yeah right) out of bed. Lord Jesus, you led me to Gen. 12:1-3

"1 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.
2 "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.
3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

This is a time when God is calling Abram out of a life of mediocrity. He is calling him to live a life different than all those around even those of his own family. He is calling him to not only a different location, but a different way of living. He was taking him on a journey to a place Abram was unsure of. He just knew it was God telling him to go and he was going to obey. The promise that God made over Abram's life is incredible. At this point he had no kids, not even a "love child". The part that I sense the Lord leading me to this morning is "you will be a blessing". I have this idea of having my kids or maybe just one kids a week think of something special to bless another person. Like if we go into the Dollar General and the check out lady is really down and one of the kids senses that - you know they sense are sorry attitudes - then maybe, hopefully, prayerfully without much coaching we can come back and bless that lady, kid, neighbor, bank teller, teenager, - whatever the Lord leads us to that week and whom we pray for under His leading.

I so don't know if this will work and I so don't want it to be something we start and by week 3 it is history. But at the same time I don't want it to be something we just haphazardly throw together either. I think it will be great by allowing us to pray more together, more than just bless the food, or good night Jesus. Oh Lord, will you lead us. Will you show me if this is it - something we can do as a family this summer. I want my kids to be a blessings. I know many things we are to do in private and that will be interesting how to teach that as well. But this is about the kids, not me - Oh Lord, teach us, lead us, mold us!!!

Today we are going in to get report cards and then straight home - I guess we can start out by blessing the teachers with a small "thank you" for a great half year! Then Lord, the rest of the day is up in the air. Guide me, help my attitude, help me to be creative. I love you, Lord.