Sunday, December 13, 2009

787 - Never thought I could

I am sitting right across my my daddy. He is finally sleeping soundly even though he will say that he has not slept at all. I am looking at my hero and wondering why in the world did it have to have to him. Not that I can think of anyone else I would want to go through this, but why him? (It is not a question that I feel this deep desire and need to have answered, it is just something that I do ponder.) I am listening for every deep breath and praising the Lord for each inhale of His Spirit!

Dad's damage is on his right frontal lobe of his brain. Like I have said before his left side is currently completely paralyzed. But one good thing - he is a righty!! So he can feed himself and is actually eating like a pig because of all the steroids. We love it.

Dad is and has been completely conscious the whole time. That has been another blessing. We have already began to talk thru or I should say cry thru how his life might be different. It is hard, but something we all must do. It is like we are starting from the bottom and whatever God adds on is wonderful - but are making him no promises. Staying positive, but realistic as well.

Having the right side of the brain has affected dad is some pretty funny ways - for a lack of better words. He is quite the jokester now. He is coming up with very witty things and that is really not so much my dad, but we like it! For example: my mom's sister's husband (I guess i could have quickly said my uncle) is a mortician and my dad replied when we told them they were gonna come see him in the next few weeks, "I really had rather not get a visit from an undertaker." Hee hee - that is funny!

Due to this injury my dad has become very ADD - it will be part of his therapy to learn to stay on task. It is not uncommon at all for me to be brushing his teeth and all of a sudden for him to start talking. Then I am like dad - i am brushing your teeth, wait just a minute. If you are looking at a clock going right dad only realizes 12 thru 6 is there. It is not that he does not see 6 thru 12, but his brain just refuses to use it right now. So we have to constantly remind him to look left. We talk to him on his left, put his food on his left, but love him all over!

There are things i have had to do for dad that I didn't think i was ready to do, or maybe he was not ready for me to do, or maybe even that I didn't think I could do. But it is a joy to feed dad when he is too tired. I always brush his teeth even if he starts talking. I have not shaved him yet, but I hope he is ready and forgiving when that comes. My brother has been on shaving duty! I even cut dad's hair today! It has been so much fun doing for both mom and dad.

I do plan on leaving on Friday. Dad is suppose to go into a rehab center and I want to see what it is like and what they plan on doing with him before I leave for a few days. It has to be the best. We think it will be the nationally recognized Patricia Neal Rehabilitation Center. It is going to be hard to be away even though I am desperately missing my kids and Clay. Calling home is nice, but oh how i want to hold them all. I hope to spend most of my Christmas break here with dad and mom!

Thanks again for all that have been reading and certainly been praying!! We are so still emotional, but much joy has come as well. It has been so nice being with mom so much! It is like being in high school or college again. Even under the circumstances I rejoice! I receive most of your facebook messages, but can only respond to a few because it is all thru the phone. Anyone and everyone is welcome to text me or whatever. Thanks and I do love you all!


Stephanie said...

I remember all to well the ways in which you are thrown into caregiver. It is something that I, as the Daddy's girl I was, had never really though too much about either. You are right that it is a strange blessing to be able to return so much of the care that we received growing up and soooo amazing what we are capable of when we are called to the task. I will be thinking of you and your family in your time of need, and yet, praising you for your outlook in the darkest of situations.

Susan said...

Leigh. Praying for you and for your dad. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing...whatever needs to be done.
Hugs and blessings.

Valarie said...

Girl, you know that my heart is rigth there with you!! There's a very humbling honor to taking care of your Daddy. It's something that I wouldn't wish on anyone, yet it was one of the greatest joys of my life. The Lord will turn any sorrow into rejoicing girl....even being able to laugh when he's spitting toothpaste all over you!! ;-)
I'm praying and I'm wishing I could be there to give you a big ole' hug!!!
Love ya girl!
Cherish every second....even the hard ones...oh and JOURNAL!!! (for yourself I mean!) Share what you will with us, but record all the details for yourself so you can look back to praise!!!

Leigh said...

Know that we are praying for you and your family. You inspire me my friend. I pray if God ever gives me the challenges you have been confronted with, that I can manage them with all the grace, faith, and humor that you bring forward. I know it's not always like that Leigh, but you manage to find the gift in the grief. Thank you.