Tuesday, January 30, 2007

233 - A Jealous Eye

Oh Lord - this morning the scripture hit home. Jealousy got the best of Saul and eventually did him in. I Samuel 18: 5-18. This is where David was sent out by Saul to fight because he had been so successful in all the things the kind had asked him to do. As David was coming back, the women, of course the women, were singing a chant about how well Saul had done in the past and how David was superseding that by leaps and bounds. To the regular person listening it might have just sounded like they were just stating how proud they were of him and how well he had done. But to one with a jealous eye (verse 9) and that usually means great insecurity, their words or chants cut deep. Their words may have only been encouragement and pride, but to Saul it was if they were saying - You were good in your day, but one is greater than you now. He is our man and you are old trash. You had it, but now you don't. We can no longer use you. You think you are something, but we have found something better. Pack it up and go home. Get off the porch because only the big dogs hang out here. Ok - maybe i went a little too far.

But I have been there. I have been the one with a jealous eye and any praise towards that person doesn't just seem like praise - it sounds like a rejection personally. Oh what it comes down to is believing a lie. Satan whispering in your ear that they don't need you anymore, that one has come along better and that you services are no longer needed. To a people pleaser and one that is a words of affirmation kind of gal that can only make things extremely worse.

Lord, please do away with the Saul in me. Lord help me to realize that Your will for me is the best and what I am equipped to do with excellency - nothing more and nothing better. Protect my heart from complete take over of seeds of jealousy. Protect me from my ways and thoughts. Protect me from ugliness and unholiness. Lord, I want so much to be like you in more than just actions. I want to think like You without a moment's hesitation. Be with my today and always the way You were with David. (verse 12) I love you Lord.

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