320 - He is so Faithful

Last night I spoke at Star General Baptist Church in Eldorado, Il. It was one of the hardest speaking experiences to date. One hour before I left i started running fever again. (I have had strep throat, that will not let up, all week.) We ate a delicious dinner that i really could not taste and then moved our way into worship center. All the way to the worship center, it was a short walk, I had a coughing fit. We sang 2 old hymns that I have not sung in years - it was beautiful!! But i didn't dare do anything but mouth the words as I knew it would surely lead to coughing. As we were singing or they were, i got really emotional. The song was Trust and Obey. That is exactly where I was at. I was totally deplete of myself and had nothing to give certainly physically, but even mentally could i even get the words to come out. Then it was my turn!

I walked up on stage and did my thing, but it was so hard and different. I will tell you, Praise the Lord, I maybe cough 2 little times the whole time i was up there. The hard part was being so emotional. I cried about every other word. I am a crier when i talk about my Jesus, but this was just like any sentence. In fear of coughing i could not really get vocally passionate like i usually am - I am not quiet. I did have energy to walk around, I am a walker. So all in all, it was not me. It was hard because I am not sure how it affected the other people.

My mother in law came to hear me for the first time. That was nerve racking, but sweet of her to come to a "foreign" church all by herself. There were several other ladies from my own church that came by as well. That was very kind of them. One sweet lady, she told me she was 82, just hugged and loved on me and said, "yes, darling, i understand, I will be Radically Obedient. Even at 82 I will obey." That was all i could handle. I just lost it one more time. All the ladies were soooo kind and sweet, but i have no clue if anything came out the way it was suppose to. I will just trust and obey.

So now I am back at home taking care of Clay as he has it now and my littlest, EL. Clay and I both woke up last night with 102 temp. Well actually i woke him up sobbing just exhausted and sick of being sick. How long can this continue? Will we ever get over this, at this point I have no idea. How long do you have to have strep before you develop Rheumatic Fever??? Isn't that what you can get.......... At this point my mind has gone many places. It is the weirdest thing that my body along with the medicine is not kicking this thing. It is quite scary if i am honest. To not have your body working - it is a new thing. Maybe it is what the 30's do to you... But really how can I even complain when "Especially Heather" is going through what she is.... Oh Lord, forgive me! You are faithful, we made it through and I pray You were glorified!