Wednesday, January 17, 2007

222 - To Please the People

Heavenly Father, this morning i come to you with a bit of discouragement. My son did it again....... he called home sick when there was not one thing wrong with him. We had a great night planned of friends coming over to eat and then going to the grade school basketball game and it was all ruined. I am not so sad about not getting to do all that as i am that he lied and pulled this trick again. UGH!!!!! Tucker is very intense and so while he may not be physically sick, there is something going on in his mind. I asked his teacher if there was a test or if he had gotten embarrassed in class or just anyhing to help me understand. As of right now i still don't know any explanation other than just not wanting to ride the bus home... I knew as soon as i walked in the school to get him he was not sick. He gave me a half smile and was eating an iced cookie. I could have snatched him bald-headed!!! Tucker sat is his room the rest of the day and evening. He got to come out for dinner, but then went right back in his room. I wil say praise You, Lord. I had just prayed yesterday about our relationship and how i react. You did allow me to keep my cool and just deliver the consequences without any obvious anger. Thank you. He may not have passed his test, but I think I was victorious - thank YOU>

One the biggest things that i struggle with is people pleasing. I want to make all those around me happy and I want to make those that i love the most happy and proud. The conflict arises when parties have 2 different ideas for my life or 2 different requests or 2 different of anything. It puts me in a tailspin or at very least a pickle. In I Samuel 10:17-27 we see how Saul reacted in a positive way to those that are opposing him or are not in agreement with his newly appointed position. By positive i mean, he didn't really react at all. Saul was just crowned king and most of the people were pleased with this decision. But the scripture says in verse 27 that some troublemakers doubted his abilities and despised him. The final victory for Saul was the last sentence in that verse, "But Saul kept silent."

As a leader at different times in my life, i certainly have been the one that has not always been liked or has been the one that did not please everyone. For a people pleaser like me that can absolutely eat you up. I begin to dwell on what i have done to the person or how i can win them over later or what i can possibly do to change their mind. Instead of focusing on what the Lord would have in my life and continuing serving those that i have been in leadership over, i can get consumed with those that don't like me or are not pleased with me. It requires so much energy from me and is actually handicapping - i think that can be a word, well at least today.

On top of being a people pleaser i am also non confrontational. So while the dislike of me by someone else is consuming every one of my breaths, i don't want to talk about it with the person. How incredibly insane is that!!! Ugh!!! I hate it. Lord, i know that i can not please everyone and i know that i can not make everyone happy. Lord Jesus, help me to rest in Your convictions for my life and what You are requiring of me. Help me to not be consumed by thoughts of winning over the one that can never really "cross over", so to speak. I ultimately need more self-control. Self-control to not immediately run to those opposing me to try to win favor. Self-control to not let my mind run rampant with insecurities. Self-control to not speak out and try to prove my case, cause, or point. Self-control to keep my mouth shut and be silently strong and confident allowing You to shine and come through proving Your point!!!

I love you Jesus. I want Your favor, I want Your confidence, I want Your strength, and I want Your pleasure over me. Good and Faithful servant - I live my life to hear those words someday!

1 comment: said...

Hi Leigh,
I will be praying for Tucker and God's wisdom and discernment for you! The holy spirit will let you know what is going on. I was a Christian counselor for troubled teens and your right that something is up. The good news is that he chose to call you and not someone or something else. He needs your love, attention and ear right now. It sounds like you have a good relationship with him and in due time I believe he will open up. I love you and I also understand the world of people-pleasing! I open speak on this subject! God's Word (as i know it is for you also) is the true solution to this. God once asked me, "Tracy, why do you care and listen to the dust (man) when you could hear my thoughts about you and your situation from heaven above?" God is so loving and patient with us and for that I am soooo grateful.