Monday, February 26, 2007

258 - Punishment fits the crime?

Dear Lord, Thank you for a great weekend. We went to Evansville with a couple to see a movie. Astronaut Farmer - I mean a wonderful movie. On the tear scale is was about a 6 out of 10, great movie. Then the kids had games on Saturday - pretty much all morning. Then Saturday night we went to Fairfield. There was a man there that is a renown wildlife photographer from that area. He comes in town once a year or so to show where all he has been and all the things he has photographed. He was really great. This is the guy that Clay and his dad went to stay with in Montana (???) for a week or so hiking everywhere and just exploring around. Then we ate dinner at Melissa's and headed home. Sunday was a wonderful service and great day.

So this morning i was in I Samuel 25 - the very end. I have always wondered why so many of the old testament guys, kings, etc. had so many wives - like if maybe there was an exception for them. We know that David married one of Saul's daughters. And then we have heard of a few more, but the one for today was Abigail. Her husband did die, it wasn't that he took her before her husband had died or have him killed like with Bathsheba. But still he was already married and still took her as another wife. This was in no way in God's will. This was before he was king. My commentary said that in Deut. there are strict rules specifically about a king not taking more than one wife or he will be led astray. It is interesting to not take more than one wife - totally understand that one, but I think it is funny or very indicative that more than one wife will lead one astray. Kind of makes me giggle. But i can so see why. There is no way i would share Clay, but if i had to - I would be making up some stuff to lead him away or astray just to me!!!

But the point - many times i find myself so scared of a sin because God is going to not let me do this or that. I begin to appoint my sins to certain consequences. It is not totally that my sin breaks the heart of God and so therefore i abstain. At times, selfish times i might add, that i stop in my tracks in a sin because I am afraid that if i take part He will not bless me in a certain way or He will take something away, etc. Yucky thought process. I think to some extend we all do it. Now it is very true that God will have consequences for sin, but there is no way we can prearrange what sin goes with what consequences. Sometimes it is very obvious and God lets us know, but other times not. I think when I play this game in a way I am playing God. Not a good thing to do!

So in this situation with David one might think that since he had more than one wife he would ruin his chances of being king. After all, "if you eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you will surely die." There was an offence with a direct consequence. Did they die right after the first bite? No, but death was now part of their world. Or it may have also been that their offspring killed one another and surely part of a mom and dad die when a child dies. Just kind of speculating. But here is the greatest thing that i will never understand about the Lord - GRACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Jesus, oh your grace is incredible and immense. Why oh why are you so abundant in your grace. David was still one of the greatest kings ever and Adam and Eve still had many offspring! I have not been crushed when i so often do deserve nothing but annihilation! Lord, I thank you for You patience and Your love. Thank you for the way you wait for me to "come around" or you wait for me to come back to my senses. Lord, You are so worthy of all of me, but more than half the time I am only giving you part of me. Lord, every morning i wake up and your mercies are new. Not that you just have one part of you that contains mercy, but Your mercies - that is plural - that is awesome. Grace and mercy - wow!! I know in my head what they are and the difference, but in my heart they overwhelm me. The further i go down my walk with You Lord Jesus, the more i realize how much of You i don't know and how far I really am from being anything like You. But the difference in my walk these days is that I want to keep striving to know more of You and be more like You. Grace and mercy are overflowing because I will never attain until I see You face to face!!! Thank you Lord. There is hope for me only because of You!

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