Monday, December 03, 2007

486 - Shhh - The Quiet is TOO Loud

Dear Lord, What a wonderful weekend and what a great way to end it with a day at church. Thank you!! It was an incredibly busy weekend - but just awesome. I ended up taking Elleigh to the doctor on Friday morning and she had her 2nd ear infection of her life - double infection. So then we rushed home and went out to eat with our youth pastor, Brad and Holly. What an awesome couple!! They will be going off to the mission field in a little more than a year. Saturday morning hit and I led a devotion for Star Church Ladies Brunch. Now that was some good eating!!! Wow oh wow!! I love those ladies. (I have yet to find a church I don't love....) They are so kind to me. I no sooner got home from that and the girls and I hit the road for a birthday party in Evansville. Now get this - instead of bringing presents the mom asked that we bring things for a local charity. Now how incredible is that!!! That Patricia Trout does everything and does it with complete excellence!! She completely amazes me - and she can cook!!! And works full time, never frazzled!!!! So then Saturday night was easy.

That was some serious ground covered this weekend. I have not even mentioned Sunday church, lunch with Trouts, Clay working on the house, and then us back to church for kids choir and dinner again at the Trouts. No, she only fed us once, we ate out for lunch! But I see a theme playing over and over in my life right now - God is trying to get my attention. SLOW!!!

Lord Jesus, a few days back i talked to you about how I love boundaries - I love to be told what to do - by YOU - and to know how far I can go, etc. It is the First Born trait that I have in me. But right now I think you are showing me that I, for some reason, have taken down, pushed down would probably be a better term, those boundaries and am operating on wide open. NOT GOOD! Laying in the bed Saturday night I was telling Clay that I can't wait to get back to the doctor and get some plans about all this medical stuff. I want to know what is going to be done so that I can get back to feeling normal. I know I will have one new kind of thyroid medicine and I am excited to hear what kind of boundaries that will bring. I need some rules.

Then in Sunday School - have i told you how awesome my Sunday School class is. You have got to come by just for one Sunday. I have never been a part of something like this. Blessing beyond words!!! - we discussed the Fruit of the Holy Spirit and how to display them in our lives. The one that stood out to me, Lord, was self-control. I see a theme. Then we go down to church and Luke, our incredibly passionate man of God preacher that can pray like nobody's business - wow!!!!, is preaching on solitude. Luke 4:42 - "Jesus went off to a place of solitude.............but they found Him." Ps. 46:10 - Be Still and know.

The thing that I could hear You Lord speaking the most about to me was not the fact that I am not still enough - oh we know that - but that I have a fear or insecurity about silence and solitude. It truly bothers me when I get in a conversation and we just stare. I don't necessarily have to be the one talking, but when there is a pregnant pause, I get uncomfortable. I do not enjoy lulls. And yes silence and solitude are so vital to the Christian walk.

Jesus - very, very often you will speak to me through music, in car going here and there, and of course when I am having my QT. But how much more could I hear you say if I had more solitude and silence in my life. I am not a TV girl, but I am a music going all the time girl. It is really, really, really hard for me to sit and do nothing. I don't mean doing nothing when there are a ton of things to be done, but I just mean doing nothing on purpose.

Father, I hear you talking this morning in this silence. I hear You begging me to just sit in solitude and KNOW You! I hear you beckoning me to hear the silence and enjoy. I hear you saying - Be still my child!! Oh Lord, I will. I have been thinking about this for days now and I can not wait to look at my calendar and plan for silence. Can you plan for it??? I think I will have to until it gets to be a more normal reaction. I want to hear the cry of Baby Jesus entering the World!! I want to hear the Lion roar, I am King!! I want to hear the shuffle of the precious Lamb of God. I want to hear the trees swaying back and forth sending up their praise. I want to hear the rocks crying out. I want to hear the silence and be in solitude!! This morning I sit and I hear....................nothing except the breath of Life - Thank you Lord. Thank you for speaking to me. Thank you that I was given ample reason to hear from you!! Thank you for not giving up!! Thank you for your kindness!! I love you Jesus!


Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

Still praying that God will heal your body!

"silence and solitude are so vital to the Christian walk" I really needed this point driven in today! Thank you!


Nicki said... do need to be still, just for my sake!! =) WOW....yes, I would say some "scheduling silence" would be a good thing!!

A Place For Ministry Wives said...

"I hear You begging me to just sit in solitude and KNOW YOU."

A few interesting things about this...

I've recently clued into the fact that I (and so much of Christian society) am/are on such a self-help growth trend...constantly reading books about how we can "better ourselves in the Christian walk/faith"...putting so much of the attention on OURSELVES. Recenty, the Lord has really been speaking to me about knowing HIM, HIS CHARACTER AND WHO HE REALLY IS (i.e. Seek FIRST His Kingdom). He has also shown me that I lack a magnitude of trust in Him that stems from not knowing Him and His true character as well as I should. I am currently studying HIM and His various "names" so I can understand Him better and trust Him more.

And, last, but not least...I hate lapses in conversation, too (particuarly if I'm having a conversation with someone that is just an acquaintance). And, as a pastor's wife...we're so prone to always wanting tofeel the need to make people feel comfortable around us.

This post resonates with me today. I'm a talker. I understand the need/desire to take time out for silence.

Peace to you today!

connorcolesmom said...

YOu are so right - the silence can be SO loud. I find myself having to turn on the TV or music sometimes and God does tell me to just be still and listen to HIm :)
I am sorry I have not stopped by in awhile. I have been really sick. I have had a bad sinus infection and bronchitis for almost 5 weeks.
I saw that you too are having medical issues. I will pray for the DR to have wisdom about your treatment. I will also pray for you to have the endurance and patience to take care of your family. It is so hard when we are sick. I hope you start feeling better soon.
Love ya,