739 - Enter into NOGS land - No other gods!

My Sunday school class started the NOGS study last night.  It is going to be incredible.  I am so excited about our future!  Lord, help me to not fall flat on my hopes and dreams for us all.  Help me to hear from you and what you would have for us!  I want to obey!!  We want to serve! 

I wrote this post some time ago, but it went along perfectly with what I studied this morning!    I hope the NOGs girls glean from what He spoke to me some time ago.  

Still not 100% sure about my hip.  Think there is some nerve damage.  Gave me a shot and said to keep on keeping on.  So that i am excited about all that!  Thank you for your concern and prayers!  You all are the best!!  

Exodus 20:5 "You shall not bow down to them or worship them." Now if i just say that lightly i would think that the Lord was being kind of redundant right there. Isn't bow and worshipping the same thing? Yeah, that is what i thought too, but after researching just a tad at this wee hour of the morning, i see that it is related, but not really the same.

Bow - hawah, pronouced "hayway"(i think), to prostrate oneself, to bow down, to worship. Denotes an act of respect to one in superior position, and essentially signifies submission!

Worship - abad, pronouced "aybad", to serve, minister, worship, to work, do. Denotes service or work that may be directed towards things. Signifies serving as a slave, or king or ruler.

Now once we put it all out there you can see how they are so different and why the Lord felt the need to say don't just do one, but don't do the other. Oh how i love the Word. Bow is the act of doing it to the idol - worshipping the idol and moving the body in such a way that it is obvious what one is doing. And then worship is like getting up from that bow and asking the idol what can I do for you or how can i serve you or how can i minister to you? See?

Wow, what a clear perspective now. I hate to know that I am caught in that position much more than I care to admit. Lord Jesus forgive me. I know every day throughout the day I bow to too many things and some I have no idea. I am putting my body in a way that signifies to all those around that I love this or that idol and am worshipping it. It reminds me of my old dog, Rebel. When it got down to eating time, he was bowing. You got near his food bowl and he would start growling and showing his teeth. It was obvious to the whole world this was not a time to mess with him, he was bowing and we all knew it! Even in eating how often do i see that in my own life. Oh Lord, break me, break this worship! I want to bow to you only! help!!!

Worship happens in my life as well only seen a bit different. How often do we see moms bowing to their kids and then getting up from that to worship them, serve them in any and every way! I am so so so so so proud of my aerobics ladies. There are many in there with very small kids - even some first children. There is one lady in there with a 7 week old when we started. For her to be able to drop her child off in childcare and then take some time to workout her body - that is to be commended. Many times, especially the first time mom, will refuse to do anything for herself even though it makes her a much better mom. It is a form of worship. I was always guilty of going in the total opposite direction, but this is one thing i saw all too often in Charlotte - the world of stay at home moms and I was one of those only my worship was being on the go!

Oh Lord, teach me!! Help me to listen. I got my scripture cards in yesterday and will be carrying around a few for spiritual reinforcement to break my idols! With all this worship and bowing talk I want to leave with this scripture - it was my mentors memory verse many years ago. Ps. 95:6 "Come let's us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker." (That is the same worship that we are talking about, but a different bow down.) My mentor, Rae Deal, could have easily been an idol in my life, but God moved her away from me across the country before that could happen. Both she and I are terrible phone talkers and so it has been a tough split. She is a great letter writer though! I like email!

Lord, may today, not worrying about tomorrow, but today come before you and bow down in worship - I want to kneel before my Maker!! You are worthy! I love you!! 

649 - The Bestest Stuff

Good morning!  Just me on the keyboard today.  I am feeling better, but still have quite a cold.  I took some medicine last night and it knocked me out!  So today I excited to begin the day.  Voting, getting my roots done, praying in between all of that, and some cleaning too.  I did laundry yesterday since i knew today would be quite full.  I do have one prayer request.  Kind of a long story, but.....  I have to go retake my pap (JOY) because the last one came back not good.  It has happened before. but it is never a fun (NEVER) thing and always concerning when it comes back this way.  Thank you for praying.  My appointment is tomorrow morning.  

One more thing... my friend Charnita made a button at the request of another friend, Kim, so that she could put it on her sidebar to tell others about the video blogging.  I was completely blown away with Kim's request, but I was then in shock how fast Charnita came back with that button thingy.  I don't know how to tell you to steal it, but you are welcome to.  Thank you both!  My BIG God............ uhmmmmm uhmmmm uhmmm! 

Dear Heavenly Father, I have the hardest time finding the bestest, as my kids sometimes call it, and settle for good.  I really want to do the best thing, but find myself so impatient that I try to do everything good hoping I hit the best at least once.  It is a serious issue for me.  And believe it or not, I have actually gotten much better.

This whole issue of good, better, best reminds me of Martha and Mary in the scripture.  In Luke 10:38-42 we see Martha doing some really good things, but Jesus notes Mary is doing the best.  Can't you hear Martha's thought process.  "My sister Mary is just sitting on the floor getting brownie points with Jesus.  Doesn't she know there is cooking to be done, plates to be prepared, and the arrangement on the table is not even complete?  I tell you what, she is going to get a mouthful when Jesus leaves today.  I am sick of her just sitting there while I do all the work!  In fact, I have a great mind to tell Jesus on her so that at least she can get her to work.  She always does what He says.  Good grief!"  

Can't you hear it?  I can because I have said those things myself.  But there have been a few instances in my life that I have heard those thoughts said to me through those piercing looks.  

I think it is very timely that the Lord has brought this passage to me at this time of year.  I want this Christmas to be different.  I want to open my house to any passerby-er and of course all friends and family.  I want to be found ready to sit as His feet with them and talk about His goodness.  I want to be ready to just rest with my loved ones and not think about preparations.  For me the only way I am going to be able to do that is to start today!!!  So as I write this,  November has just begun and we officially have the decorations out and one tree of four ready to be decorated!  I will enjoy my Jesus this year.  But more importantly I will make myself a bit more enjoyable so that hopefully others can see Jesus in me.  Come by any time and sit at His feet with me!!  

517 - Joy, just because!

Dear Lord! What a gorgeously cold day. I am trying to be very positive, but it IS sun shining, but it is about 25 degrees. I think it is about up to 40 now, but that is only in the sun!! Thank you for the sun. We are suppose to get a few sprinkles of snow on Thursday - Lord, give us a blizzard. I love nothing more than being snowed in with the kids and drinking hot chocolate all day!! Oh - I love it!!! They say we are suppose to be down to single digits next week! Yikes!

Lord, I see you doing things in my life almost everyday that are only happening because of you. As much as i see you making me more and more like You, I know obviously first hand how much further I have to go. Not that it will ever be obtained here on this earth, but still I know I am not where I used to be. Praise you!!

Living a 'die to self' life is very, very challenging to say the least. I so desire to think about something and just have thoughts of how it can make you famous and not uplift Leigh. I have dreams of being excited to worship you and not need anything or anyone to do it with. I hope for the day of getting excited to meet with you and not ask anything of You! I long for a pure heart, pure motives, pure intentions, etc. No matter how sweet comments are from people all over the world I still know me and know how far I have to go. And please let be honest for one second and say that having that thought in and of itself is a God-thing! Like I mentioned before about my days in college and thinking because I had read the New Testament there was just a few more things to know about the Bible. Pride can certainly have a spot in my thought processes! You know that person or comic of the person saying no - please stop all the accolades with one hand and then with the other hand they are saying, yes, keep them coming - kind of like go, go, go and stop, stop, stop all at the same time. I want to be a stop stop stop girl all the time!

I want to fall face down and worship the Lord just because. Not because He did this or that for me, but because He is God! I want to be filled with joy on the worst days because of who He is and not because I ought to. I want to be overwhelmed with thoughts of my Savior because of the sacrifice He did for me, not because of the sacrifice He might have called me to. I want my thoughts to be all about Him and nothing else!! Less of me, Lord, please!!! Much less!! Regardless of any circumstances, I choose Joy!!!

I was brought to Leviticus 9:24 today. From what I understand Aaron has just been ordained and the priests are beginning their ministry. They had made all the right preparations, all the right sacrifices, and all the right droppings here and there - blood, fat, oil, etc. This were very normal things that they did often to see the presence of the Lord. Then verse 24 says, "Fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed the burnt offering and the fat portions on the alter. And when all the people saw it, they shouted for joy and fell facedown." In I Kings 18:39 we see the same thing happening - "When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The Lord - He is God! The Lord - He is God." Regardless of the circumstances, trouble, pending wars, whatever it may have been, God showed up and they were moved to get on their face!! That is what I want - that is what I want my heart to be like.

Lord Jesus - I want to see your power, your presence, your breath - anything about You and fall facedown. I don't want a cool engagement or a book deal or a financial break to have reason to praise you - I want to do it just because You are there - always in my life - and when I see you I just praise!! I fall facedown and am filed with Joy like in verse 24 of Leviticus. I love you, Lord!

I have a new conviction that could affect some of you - friends, family, blog lurkers, etc. I have made a commitment to stay off email and the blog world on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I mean as far as reading all the other blogs, etc. I will still be posting my own quiet time thoughts and prayers, but just not going to blog after blog to see everyone else. Tuesdays are laundry day (I only do laundry on 1 day a week.) and Thursdays are catch up before the weekend! So if you need me on those days, please call. If you have ever gotten an email from me then you have my cell number or just wait till the next day to hear from me. Thank you - Just because He said so!

486 - Shhh - The Quiet is TOO Loud

Dear Lord, What a wonderful weekend and what a great way to end it with a day at church. Thank you!! It was an incredibly busy weekend - but just awesome. I ended up taking Elleigh to the doctor on Friday morning and she had her 2nd ear infection of her life - double infection. So then we rushed home and went out to eat with our youth pastor, Brad and Holly. What an awesome couple!! They will be going off to the mission field in a little more than a year. Saturday morning hit and I led a devotion for Star Church Ladies Brunch. Now that was some good eating!!! Wow oh wow!! I love those ladies. (I have yet to find a church I don't love....) They are so kind to me. I no sooner got home from that and the girls and I hit the road for a birthday party in Evansville. Now get this - instead of bringing presents the mom asked that we bring things for a local charity. Now how incredible is that!!! That Patricia Trout does everything and does it with complete excellence!! She completely amazes me - and she can cook!!! And works full time, never frazzled!!!! So then Saturday night was easy.

That was some serious ground covered this weekend. I have not even mentioned Sunday church, lunch with Trouts, Clay working on the house, and then us back to church for kids choir and dinner again at the Trouts. No, she only fed us once, we ate out for lunch! But I see a theme playing over and over in my life right now - God is trying to get my attention. SLOW!!!

Lord Jesus, a few days back i talked to you about how I love boundaries - I love to be told what to do - by YOU - and to know how far I can go, etc. It is the First Born trait that I have in me. But right now I think you are showing me that I, for some reason, have taken down, pushed down would probably be a better term, those boundaries and am operating on wide open. NOT GOOD! Laying in the bed Saturday night I was telling Clay that I can't wait to get back to the doctor and get some plans about all this medical stuff. I want to know what is going to be done so that I can get back to feeling normal. I know I will have one new kind of thyroid medicine and I am excited to hear what kind of boundaries that will bring. I need some rules.

Then in Sunday School - have i told you how awesome my Sunday School class is. You have got to come by just for one Sunday. I have never been a part of something like this. Blessing beyond words!!! - we discussed the Fruit of the Holy Spirit and how to display them in our lives. The one that stood out to me, Lord, was self-control. I see a theme. Then we go down to church and Luke, our incredibly passionate man of God preacher that can pray like nobody's business - wow!!!!, is preaching on solitude. Luke 4:42 - "Jesus went off to a place of solitude.............but they found Him." Ps. 46:10 - Be Still and know.

The thing that I could hear You Lord speaking the most about to me was not the fact that I am not still enough - oh we know that - but that I have a fear or insecurity about silence and solitude. It truly bothers me when I get in a conversation and we just stare. I don't necessarily have to be the one talking, but when there is a pregnant pause, I get uncomfortable. I do not enjoy lulls. And yes silence and solitude are so vital to the Christian walk.

Jesus - very, very often you will speak to me through music, in car going here and there, and of course when I am having my QT. But how much more could I hear you say if I had more solitude and silence in my life. I am not a TV girl, but I am a music going all the time girl. It is really, really, really hard for me to sit and do nothing. I don't mean doing nothing when there are a ton of things to be done, but I just mean doing nothing on purpose.

Father, I hear you talking this morning in this silence. I hear You begging me to just sit in solitude and KNOW You! I hear you beckoning me to hear the silence and enjoy. I hear you saying - Be still my child!! Oh Lord, I will. I have been thinking about this for days now and I can not wait to look at my calendar and plan for silence. Can you plan for it??? I think I will have to until it gets to be a more normal reaction. I want to hear the cry of Baby Jesus entering the World!! I want to hear the Lion roar, I am King!! I want to hear the shuffle of the precious Lamb of God. I want to hear the trees swaying back and forth sending up their praise. I want to hear the rocks crying out. I want to hear the silence and be in solitude!! This morning I sit and I hear....................nothing except the breath of Life - Thank you Lord. Thank you for speaking to me. Thank you that I was given ample reason to hear from you!! Thank you for not giving up!! Thank you for your kindness!! I love you Jesus!

479 - TO God be the Glory!

Leaving this Blog week with some scripture of Thanksgiving - and still a tad of idol worship. Lord, I just can't leave that subject, can I? Still have not learned enough to move on I guess!! All glory to You!! Praise and Honor to the Highest!! You are it! You are mine and I am yours. Thank you thank you thank you!!! Happy Thanksgiving!

1 Chron. 16:25-36

25 For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the nations are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.
27 Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy in his dwelling place.
28 Ascribe to the LORD, O families of nations, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength,
29 ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name. Bring an offering and come before him; worship the LORD in the splendor of his [a] holiness.
30 Tremble before him, all the earth! The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
31 Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!"
32 Let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them!
33 Then the trees of the forest will sing, they will sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth.
34 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
35 Cry out, "Save us, O God our Savior; gather us and deliver us from the nations, that we may give thanks to your holy name, that we may glory in your praise."
36 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Then all the people said "Amen" and "Praise the LORD."

463 - Images Before Me

Dear Lord, It is so good to be back and in my usual position of writing out my devotion and quiet time. I really miss not doing that and I am sure I do not take in as much from the Word on that particular day when I don't get to blog. This blog reinforces what I have just learned on my floor all sprawled out. But more than anything Father, thank you for meeting with me any time and any place! You are incredible like that.

You still have me studying the images theme - being made in His image, reflecting the Lord, and also idols, that has to do with images as well. So today you took me straight to Ps. 97:7. There was a ton of dissection in it today and I love that part. "All who worship images are put to shame, those who boast in idols worship him, all you gods!" Oh this is really good - thank you Jesus.

"All who worship" - that is talking about physically doing things, serve and minister, getting the hands dirty, signifies as serving as a slave. "images" - those are things that are fashion by our hands, carved, etc. "put to shame" - to be ashamed, disappointed, disgraced, keep waiting, deceived - denotes confusion, dismay, embarrassment when things do not turn out as expected. "those who boast in idols" - glorifying those things that are weak, worthless, empty, vain, etc. "worship him, all you gods." - bow down, crouch, worship, to do obeisance - signifies to worship God with prayers even if not bowing down.

Ok Lord, bring this all together for me, please. One of the easiest things for a mom to worship are her kids. It comes very natural and to a point it almost seems right. But so often in that adoration and surrendering love to our kids, we begin to worship. And yes, Lord, I hear you say that even that is wrong. There terrible thing I have seen in my own life and in many other moms at the most inopportune times is how that worship is displayed. It seems to rear its ugly head when defense mode has kicked in or when anger has reached its peak. I have seen moms "go off" in protection of their child, or in defense of their child, or just because they feel someone has to - they can't stand up for themselves. I have seen very godly women absolutely act a fool right in front of their child in a weird kind of way that sort of is out of honor and respect for the child only in a bad, bad way. And i too am guilty.

According to this verse we do worship our kids - we serve them, get our hands dirty, and sometimes we do feel like a slave. Now not all that is bad, but in moderation. But when we turn our kids into images of worship that is not so good. We fashion them in our minds as what we want them to turn out to be and therefor anything getting in that way will be destroyed. Even a sweet teacher just trying to do her job. Even if she is wrong we feel a right to let her know it and feel obligated to do it in the most memorable fashion. She won't forget and neither will all those around or the child. We begin to worship this image of the child we have fashioned with our own hands and mind and waaalaaa - we have an idol!

Lord Jesus - I know I have been there and am still guilty of trying to make sure I have this and this and this in a certain child. Oh Lord, help me to relax and let them be what they are to be. Help me to not have such high expectations and yet still know when to push them for excellence. Help me to see their true potential and be joyous in all their different talents. Help me to accept what you have so graciously given me and to help drive that closer to You! Oh Lord, thank you for these kids!! I love every last little white hair on their heads!! I love the frustrating times as well because it draws me straight to you! Oh Lord, thank you for this privilege of mommying and never let me take it for granted!! Thank you Father!

Lord Jesus, that verse says that when I do worship images and idols I will be "put to shame". This spoke volumes to me. Translated it means that I will be disappointed in this idol. I will be ashamed and will keep waiting for something else or better. I will be deceived, have much confusion, and be embarrassed when things do not turn out like i expected. Oh Lord - I don't want to go down that road. Lord, help me to do the right thing. Help me to only worship you! You are never disappointing, really Father I know that. You are never going to disgrace me or shame me. You are my Redeemer and Salvation. Oh Father - forgive me for the times that i have done this very thing with my kids. Forgive me for the pressure I may have put on them and without even knowing it. Forgive me for not being thankful for exactly what I have. Forgive me for worshipping anything other than You!! Oh Lord, forgive me.

Thank you for this Word this morning. Off to a brand new day. Off to do your great work!! Off to glorify you my Lord. I love you!

Fairy Tale - No, the Real Thing

Sarahjane and Ms. Holly at the rehearsal dinner. I could hardly keep SJ off her lap.
I was so excited to see that Elleigh still remembered Holly and loved her more! Holly always knew just the right gift for the girls.
Holly always makes you feel as if there is nothing more important that talking with you - even when she a had a whole room to go around to and speak with.
They could not have enjoyed this job more.
It was a Fairy Tale Day.
My mom was so kind in helping do all the nails, toes, hair, etc.
Holly Givens and Dimitri Bruel
Sisters in Christ

They all want to be like Ms. Holly!

Ballerina #3
Ballerina #2
Ballerina #1
What a gorgeous day.

The kids and I were at a wedding this week of our babysitter in Charlotte and her now husband that she met in seminary - Holly and Dimitri. Dimi is from the Ukraine and Holly from all over. Her father in a pastor now serving at a church in Rockymont, NC.

Holly has an incredible family. Holly has 3 sisters. If my girls can turn out even half as good as any of these girls - oh Jesus, may it please be so. From the moment I first met them all as very young girls they all had a heart for Jesus. They have a desire for evangelism like i have never seen in such young people. Their naivety keeps them bold and searching for that next person to share Jesus with. The momma is so humble and you know a prayer warrior. Their dad is a fun loving big teddy bear. Of course they have had their ups and downs, but what a family. To have the privilege to know Holly like a best friend leave me just speechless.

The wedding was much like what i would describe a Heavenly fairly tale! It was not extravagantly decorated, but it was simple in purity. It was gorgeous inside and out just the structure alone. This is the same church that Billy And Ruth Graham got married in many years ago. Montreat College. Everything was to glorify God and they actually really did it. I mean everything. They said their own vows and Holly first spoke hers in Russian, Dimi's first of 5 languages. He is a sharp dude! Their first kiss WAS their first kiss! I could go and on. To know them and to be there was a worship experience. I left there that day, even with the stress of getting 3 little princesses ready to be flower girls, having worshipped Jesus. I know their life will be one of great joy in Christ. I have no idea the magnitude that the Lord will choose to use them, but i know it will be huge according to Christ standards.

If there is any way i could find a Holly for my girls i would. In Charlotte, Holly always brought the girls to Jesus each and every night she was there and thank you Lord, she was there a lot. She would call them on the phone and encourage them to seek the Lord. Everything and yes, i do mean everything, was to glorify Him and she took a personal responsibility in bringing my girls closer to Jesus even at their young ages. Oh how i miss Holly and pray for another influence like that in their lives!! I have not even mentioned how much my Tucker loves her too - he is too big to show it much these days, but he does have a great affection for her!

It was not a fairly tale, It was the real thing!!

446 - Selfish Idol

Lord Jesus - thank you for Your love. Thank you for your completely unselfishness towards me and abandoning all even if it had just been for me. Lord, I am thinking about all the times that my idol worship, whatever it may be, has caused so many to fall into sin. Other than leading us farther from You, worshipping an idol can and probably will hurt another causing them to fall into sin.

I once heard a singer say that it was no fun to sin alone, she always wanted to take others with her. I believe as a Christian we are responsible for all our actions - one that we purposely do and ones that we are not sure anyone is aware of. Because we can not see the final masterpiece tapestry He is weaving, we don't know the influence we have on people and the effects our actions and reactions have on them. This morning I am in I Cor. 8: 9 - 13. This whole chapter is about not eating food from an idol unless you have "knowledge". "But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat it, and no better if we do." (8). Then it goes on to say that if a weaker person sees you eating food of an idol and it causes them to stumble then you can't do it, ever. There have been times when I was on a diet with someone at work or where ever and was having a weak moment. In that weak moment I would go to my fellow dieter and beg them to be weak with me. Many times, or most, I could talk this person into being weak with me. I would talk them out of their "sacrifices" into a moment of indulgence! That is wrong!!!!!!!!!! I am causing them to stumble even if for a moment or one meal.

I think we could all agree this too has happen to us or we have done it to someone when you go shopping with a friend. Let me use me as the bad guy - I am shopping with a friend and I am doing nothing to slow down my idol worship of self-indulgence in clothes, etc. I know the person with me is on a tight budget or that it what it sounds like and yet when they hold up the outfit I encourage them to go for it. Yes, I want them to have a great new outfit, but deep, deep, deep down I am just wanting to have someone with me in on the sinning, in on the idol worship I am totally caving to at the moment! That too is wrong!!! How do I know it is wrong - when I get home I am quick to tell my husband how much so and so spent as if to make myself look better. Ever been there? Even though shopping is not bad - thank you Lord - I have drug someone into a mess. Yes, they are responsible for their actions and should know their limits, but according to this Word, I am more responsible for dragging them in and making myself feel better, especially those that are weaker!! Wow!!!

I looked up weaker conscience - the faculty of the mind that bears witness to one's own moral conduct. It distinguishes between right and wrong and prompts to choose the former and avoid the latter. (I really like that last part.) But here is the thing, this scripture is talking about one that has a weaker conscience - so that would be one that may be a believer, but new to the concept of dieing to self. May not have developed the ability to hear the Spirit say - you better hold off her, Lady! We, I, am responsible to what i do around her and how my life affects her. Wow, double wow! This reminds me of the scripture - "My life is not my own". Oh yes, we have freedom and I am so thankful for that, but the beginning scripture is the plumb line - "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." Seriously, my life is not my own!!!

Lord Jesus - thank you for this Word. Thank you for this breath of Life you have given me today. Thank you for revealing my sin to me and thank you for your constant forgiveness. Help me to bring all my sin to you, and specifically. Lord, I do not want to lead anyone into sin. I do not want to lead anyone into idol worship, or away from you!! I want to be that lift for others that bring them back to your throne. I want to be the one that causes others to shout out Your fame and glory. I want to be that one that makes others want to worship You more. I want to be that one that cries out Holy and others cry as well. Oh Lord, help me to not be that stumbling block. Help me to live this out and actually follow through with these words. Help me to know your will and die to mine! Thank you, Lord, thank you!

445 - What Cha Doing This Sunday?

Oh Lord, have you lead me to some good stuff today. I am so very tired once again. Last week we were only able to work out 2 real classes of aerobics. So after Monday and Tuesday of this week, my legs and bootahtah are so sore I don't want to move. It is amazing how quickly one, ME, can get out of shape, but how long it takes to get your body accustomed to that kind of vigorous workout! Oh I love it, I love the ladies, and I love to sweat!!

Wow, Lord, You just lead me right into what I just studying. I am still on the idle idol worship. This morning we went straight to one of my favorite and most convicting passages. I have never been much of a lake girl. I mean my in laws live on a lake kind of thing, but I really have no desire for boating, skiing, swimming in it -yuck!!! I mean I like those things, but don't long to do it. But a beach - that is whole 'nother story. I know that is one thing i miss more than many others things in Charlotte - the beach. At my old church in Charlotte we saw the same pattern over and over year after year. Once the weather got warm and inviting and especially once summer started people never showed up for church anymore. Now don't get me wrong, they could have been having church on the beach or at least been going to a church at the beach, but most likely not - you know the truth just as well as i did. But the sad thing was that it totally broke their church consistency. It took weeks for many to get into a habit, good habit, of church once fall and winter rolled around. Just getting replugged in and active and boom - spring and summer hit and they were history. It was so hard as teachers because we longed to have them there and be consistent, etc. It was only a good thing for the whole family. If kids were involved, what did that preach to them - warm weather, forget church.... This is when the Lord lead me to Isaiah 58:13-14 and to share it with the whole class - oh yeah, that was fun!! Not!!

13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

You want to line up with the favor of God - give Him reason other than His great love and compassion to shower you with blessings - be consistent in church attendance!!! I hear You Lord. I hear you!! It is just like working out, one can quickly get out of shape, but it takes much time and commitment to get back in shape!! Oh I remember the same thing after having a baby! It was so hard to get to church those first few weeks - that seemed eternal!!! I really believe Satan works his strongest on Saturday night and on Sunday morning. I distinctly remember my kids sleeping wonderfully on Friday night, but Saturday rolled around and they were up all night - and i always had really good sleepers! But Satan ain't no dummy - He will do anything, not exempt from using our own precious kids, to keep us out of God Holy Place on Sunday!!! I believe it with all my heart!!

Few things about the verse above - vs. 13 - "If you keep" - that keep means turn from, do not go with it - this is the same word seem in Ek. 14:7 when it talks about turning from idols. "from doing things as you please" - that please means the very things that you enjoy, or delight in, or just plain ol' like. "on my holy day" - means literally "on my consecrated now". "If you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord's holy day honorable" - that call means to call loudly to get one's attention and honorable means heavy or glorious. Vs 14 - "then you will find your joy" - that then means at that time or after that time, as a result of... So what Is He trying to say this morning. Being consistent in church and not just doing idle things on His Holy day only leads to blessings of joy, ability to ride on the heights where idols are worship, but we are worshipping Him as it is only He that has exalted us to that place, and an indescribable inheritance.

Lord, thank you!! Thank you for your Word. Thank you for the joy of studying it. Thank you for surprising me each day with such nuggets! Thank you for loving me enough to meet with me each day. Thank you for giving me a hear that wants to go to church. Help me to be consistent for my kids. Help me to be consistent for my family. Help me to be in line with your favor! Thank you Lord. Thank you for everything! I am excited for church tonight!! I love you!

444 - Idle Idol Worship

Lord Jesus - first of all forgive my laziness yesterday. I hit and kept hitting the snooze button as if i had nothing to do or nowhere to go yesterday morning. You gave me a wonderfully blessed day that I certainly did not deserve. Thank you, Lord. .............. Homecoming was good, but quick. It was not my reunion, my 20th will be in 2011. So my kids got to see my small town, go to the parade, ride around to my different homes, see my high school, and go to the homecoming game. I didn't get to see many people, but saw a few or at least recognized a few. I did get to see my old across the street neighbor. Dave worked for the paper and was just absolutely ate up with tennis like my family was. He made sure in some way that my picture found its way in almost every week. It was great to hear from him - he now travels nationally as a tennis umpire. This was a dream of his and I love hearing about it coming true! ............... Saturday the girls went to a deal that taught them to be a Princess because they are Daughters of the King. They wore gowns, had a tea, study the Bible, talked about taking care of themselves, - it was just wonderful. Faith Blair had invited us - I hope we can do it again next year!

Lord Jesus - I hope I can have the knowledge to get across in words what you have taught me this morning. Yes, it comes from conviction yesterday of not spending time with You. I felt you ask me some questions. 1) Are people overly busy today? 2) Are people doing much of they want to do? 3) If one is not doing what I have called them to do is it useless? 4) But at the same time are more people than ever sitting around doing nothing, being idle? 5) Could being Idle be an Idol????? Wooo, that was loaded! Yes, people are overly busy and doing much of what they want to do - me included. I don't think doing what you have not ultimately called me to is useless. You can make good of my mistakes and poor choices - You are God! I may have consequences, but You can still make good of my sin. And yes I would agree people are sitting around do more and more of what they are wanting or nothing - like I was yesterday. (Don't you hate when you are the example!! Ugh.) Yes, most certainly there is a worship of Idleness. Yikes!!!

I have 2 scriptures You have given me this morning and I find no irony in that they are both directed to women. I know you are speaking to me. Proverbs 31:27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." (I think it is funny that You, Lord, call it "eat bread of idleness". I am a bored eater. I eat when I have nothing else to do and don't even realize it! And I love bread! ha ha) Well, i could not resist - I looked up idleness just to make sure it was what i thought it was - "aslut" - sluggishness and laziness. Yep, that was me yesterday. Oh I just hate it. Forgive me Father! Part of my responsibility as a mom is to watch over the household. In that, my top priority is to meet with the LandLord - if you will. Yesterday I sat and ate the bread of idleness in my bed and neglected my meeting with Him. Jesus, what did I miss?? What jewel did you have for me yesterday? What love note did I not get to read??? Oh Lord, I am so sorry - i neglected You. You would never do that to me - thank you!

1 Timothy 5:13 "They get in the habit of being idle and going about house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to." This passage is where Timothy is talking about young and old widows. He was saying it is better for the young ones to marry because if and when they do become idle and idleness leads to all kind of trouble - gossip, busybody, etc. It goes on to instruct them to do some other things because it will not give the enemy an opportunity to slander. Says that some in fact have already turned away to follow Satan. My focus here is what I feel like You are saying to me is that leading my own life the way i want to (even for a morning of not spending time with You) can lead to some serious sin. Satan can nothing, but slander me, but thank you for being my protector and shield.

Worshipping the god of idleness is no different than worshipping the god of food or spending or any kind of overindulgence. We are conducting ourselves totally in the fleshly realm and that leads to trouble, PERIOD. I am saying I will only follow the ways of my desires and not consider the Lord. I looked up this particular "idle" and it was the same, but more specific. "argos" - not at work, unemployed, inactive, indolent, unprofitable. It's derived from another word meaning - to deactivate, render inoperative, abolish. Oh now that speaks a word. When I give over to the god of idleness I deactivate myself from the Spirit. No, no, no - He never loses His grip on me or anything like that, but I just unplug from the power source if you will, again! And it is the Lord that renders me inoperative. He will not hang out with one that is serving 2 masters and therefore renders me inoperative. Who know, only You oh Lord, what the plans for my life were yesterday. But when I deactivated and unplugged from the power source to sleep some extra minutes You rendered me inactive! Ouch, Lord, I am sorry - I hear you loud and clear.

Lord Jesus, I have known for years what Your expectations are of me and my quiet time. You expect me to meet with you early and first thing. Noon time and evening are not options for me - you have said it over and over. Ps. 5:3 and Is. 50:4-5 are my scripture confirmations! Forgive me for giving into the bread of idleness, and to me what you have revealed this morning, the idol worship of idleness. Forgive me of not respecting Your plans or agenda enough for me yesterday that I passed You by for strength, courage, power, and Spirit refueling that you free give! Lord, I thank you for your convicting words this morning. I thank you for your awesomeness. I thank you for your forgiveness and love. Oh Lord, your mercy and grace are almost too much to bear. You are so great and complete - You complete me! I love you!

441 - I bow, but do I worship?

After the investigation into the words of bowing and worshipping as seen in Ex. 20:4, i can not get it off my mind. Lord, I feel like you have shown me another avenue. I think we have thoroughly exposed the scripture as it pertains to not bowing or worshipping an idol. Here is yesterdays prayer...

Now once we put it all out there you can see how they are so different and why the Lord felt the need to say don't just do one, but don't do the other. Oh how i love the Word. Bow is the act of doing it to the idol - worshipping the idol and moving the body in such a way that it is obvious what one is doing. And then worship is like getting up from that bow and asking the idol what can I do for you or how can i serve you or how can i minister to you? See?

So as i got up from the time with You yesterday I actually wrote on my napkin I usually have with me. I wrote - How often do we bow, but don't worship? - I felt Him say that to my heart! If bowing is actually putting our body in a position to others that says we are worshipping then I guess there is the possibility to fake it. Oh, now we are getting somewhere! Because worshipping according to our exposition yesterday is getting up from that bowing position, whatever it may look like, and then doing something of service for the god or for God. So once again that is the reason He is asking me - How often do you bow, but don't worship? I can get down in a "bow", but I can get up from that and never live out my expressed worship in that bow. Oh this is really good, Lord - thank you!!

Too often I hear from ladies that just don't "feel it" anymore with the Lord. #1 Be so careful when looking for a feeling. He certainly gives us those warm fuzzies and peaceful times even in worship, but that is not what He is all about. The Lord wants us to bow and worship even when we don't feel like it, but more importantly when we don't feel Him!!! Lord Jesus, you have taught me that over and over for years. That is part of discipline, part of our responsibility of being a follower of Christ. We love because He first loved, but we also do because He first did - whether we FEEL it or not.

Lord Jesus, you keep me in check often! Coming on this blog and writing out my prayers is a form of bowing for me, but do I get up and do something about it - in service to You, worship to You? I think what You are impressing me to write right now kind of scares me. I mean I don't want to hurt feelings, etc.............. Has blogging become a form of idol worship? We go there and write something out even though we are not living the thing out, as Beth Moore says. We are waiting to get all the comments in and feel some sort of validation from that? What originally was started as a note to the Lord has become a place you feel pressure to post often, a place that you feel loved more than by Him, a place that you bow down, but never get up to worship? OH Lord, I know that has been the case for me at times. You are so faithful to keep me in check and turn me back around!! Praise You Lord for loving me enough to do that!

Last night I got to meet with a church that is planning their first ever women's conference and I will be speaking. It was beautiful. They were excited, but didn't really know how to go about the whole deal. I was able to give them some pointers on things I had experienced all over the US. Their budget was small - at least right now - and yet were very willing to make it happen. I am very excited to see what God is going to do through their faith and all that. It was a confirmation of what Speaking Thru Me is all about. -------------------------- Then I got another note from a different church... Small church, small budget, etc. We had agreed on everything, now the back pedalling has started about speaker fee and all. I know it is so hard from some to understand, but my family budget can not allow me to do this for free. Oh how I wish, but at this point in my life I can not. Gas is so expensive, babysitting if Clay is not in town, time to drive there and back, time away from my family, time preparing is huge, if there are any meals there and back... and then of course there is the expenses that are incurred a long time before the event was ever booked - ministry expense, advertising, postage, making bios, making samples.... MOPS groups are the only ones I can afford to not charge a speaking fee, but anything else I just have to - and yet they always cover my traveling expenses! Lord, give me the words to express this in a graceful and yet strong way that one can understand. This is the whole reason HE is establishing Speaking Thru Me. I don't like one bit talking about money, but at the same time I hate having to tell a church no because of a money situation!!! I have made the decision too often to "do it anyway" and have really been in trouble for it! I give this to you!! Thank you, Lord. I love you!!

440 - Bow Down and Worship

Dear Lord, thank you for such a wonderful day. I know I will regret saying this, but I am so ready for some cooler weather. This hot and humid stuff is killing..................my hair! ugh!!

I am back at the 2nd commandment today again. I have found another phrase that I think is so important that I have dissected it. Exodus 20:5 "You shall not bow down to them or worship them." Now if i just say that lightly i would think that the Lord was being kind of redundant right there. Isn't bow and worshipping the same thing? Yeah, that is what i thought too, but after researching just a tad at this wee hour of the morning, i see that it is related, but not really the same.

Bow - hawah, pronouced "hayway"(i think), to prostrate oneself, to bow down, to worship. Denotes an act of respect to one in superior position, and essentially signifies submission!

Worship - abad, pronouced "aybad", to serve, minister, worship, to work, do. Denotes service or work that may be directed towards things. Signifies serving as a slave, or king or ruler.

Now once we put it all out there you can see how they are so different and why the Lord felt the need to say don't just do one, but don't do the other. Oh how i love the Word. Bow is the act of doing it to the idol - worshipping the idol and moving the body in such a way that it is obvious what one is doing. And then worship is like getting up from that bow and asking the idol what can I do for you or how can i serve you or how can i minister to you? See?

Wow, what a clear perspective now. I hate to know that I am caught in that position much more than I care to admit. Lord Jesus forgive me. I know every day throughout the day I bow to too many things and some I have no idea. I am putting my body in a way that signifies to all those around that I love this or that idol and am worshipping it. It reminds me of my old dog, Rebel. When it got down to eating time, he was bowing. You got near his food bowl and he would start growling and showing his teeth. It was obvious to the whole world this was not a time to mess with him, he was bowing and we all knew it! Even in eating how often do i see that in my own life. Oh Lord, break me, break this worship! I want to bow to you only! help!!!

Worship happens in my life as well only seen a bit different. How often do we see moms bowing to their kids and then getting up from that to worship them, serve them in any and every way! I am so so so so so proud of my aerobics ladies. There are many in there with very small kids - even some first children. There is one lady in there with a 7 week old when we started. For her to be able to drop her child off in childcare and then take some time to workout her body - that is to be commended. Many times, especially the first time mom, will refuse to do anything for herself even though it makes her a much better mom. It is a form of worship. I was always guilty of going in the total opposite direction, but this is one thing i saw all too often in Charlotte - the world of stay at home moms and I was one of those only my worship was being on the go!

Oh Lord, teach me!! Help me to listen. I got my scripture cards in yesterday and will be carrying around a few for spiritual reinforcement to break my idols! With all this worship and bowing talk I want to leave with this scripture - it was my mentors memory verse many years ago. Ps. 95:6 "Come let's us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker." (That is the same worship that we are talking about, but a different bow down.) My mentor, Rae Deal, could have easily been an idol in my life, but God moved her away from me across the country before that could happen. Both she and I are terrible phone talkers and so it has been a tough split. She is a great letter writer though! I like email!

Lord, may today, not worrying about tomorrow, but today come before you and bow down in worship - I want to kneel before my Maker!! You are worthy! I love you!!

438 - "Idol Eyes"

Lord Jesus, thank you for the way the house is coming. We have every last bit of wallpaper off the walls - it is down to the bones due to a guy named Nick. Nick fell on some hard times and now is trying to get his life back together. He is the hardest worker you will ever meet and just a fire about him. He is trying hard to get his life back together so that he can get custody of his son again. I love more than anything being able to reach out and do something to help someone help themselves. I really believe Nick will be a success story. I don't know if he knows the Lord, but hopefully I can get to you on that one. Clay came in contact with him through a guy at our old church that does prison, jail, and halfway house kind of ministry. I am cheering Nick on for his life, and so appreciative for all the hard work he has given us this week! Wow!

Aerobics went well again last night. We had 3 more ladies join. I would say on any given day we are close to 20 ladies per night! It is fantastic!! Thank you Jesus! ----------Dairy day is tonight and tomorrow. Kids will ride a ton of rides tonight and then have games tomorrow. We have the washer pitching contest, the frog jumping contest, the bubble blowing contest, pet parade, the kids' parade, and just a whole slew of other stuff as well. We are very excited!! ---- I have one situation in my life right now that is very sad and disappointing. Lord, you know the details and I pray you get to the bottom of everything. Jesus, please come through for us and show us your plan. Thank you for this opportunity to see You be huge! ------ Did you get to see Leslie last night on Survivor. I didn't either, but then watched every youtube scene I could possibly find. I was so proud of her for walking out of the Budda Temple and service. Way to go sister!!

Lord, I am still on the idols thing and boy have you given me a Word this morning. Many times the reason something becomes an idol is because we don't trust YOU that You will give us "it" and therefore the worship begins! It is kind of like the grass is greener on the other side kind of deal. We see "it" and think if we only had that life would be so much better. But the whole time God is saying, no I have better things for you. If you would wait you will see something good that I want to give you that is far better. I will satisfy your ultimate need (sometimes we don't even understand our greatest need like our Maker would) with good things, perfect things, the best things - Just wait!!!!!! Ps. 103 is a beautiful Psalm by David - it is praise to Him explaining all God's benefits, wonderful qualities, attributes, actions, "faithfulnesses", etc. Verse 5 is the one I can not get away from. "who satifies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Oh Lord thank you!!!

Jesus - you not only know my desires, but in Your sovereignty You find a way to satisfy them with GOOD things. Now that speaks to my heart! God, good is only expressed through you. Only you can totally satisfy my heart and make me saieted! Praise you, Lord. I think the thing that is so important for me to remember is that the filling you do for me and that satisfaction might look different than what I am expecting. That is where the trust comes in. Oh Lord, I do trust you, don't I? Everything that is good and of God will have the nature of God in it. Now that is exciting too IF i see it!! Lord, give me those eyes for you and not "Idol Eyes".

Thank you for your provisions. Thank you for your kindness towards me. Thank you for your realness and preciousness. May I more and more fall in love with you. May my heart want nothing but to be satisfied by you and for you! Thank you for the grace and mercy that bestows renewal to my body and mind when I wait for your satisfaction! Oh Lord, I want to fly with the eagles. I want to sore on the mountain tops, I want to see things from a distance with wisdom and clarity! I want to be like You! Change me, and mold me!! My I be of some satisfaction to you today! I love you!

436 - People worship

Lord Jesus - I am up and really awake today. I went to bed at 8:45pm last night. It felt so good to actually hear the alarm go off. I needed that huge stint on sleep. Today I feel great. Aerobics was another great class. I am having to make some calls at work that scare me to death. I am not selling anything, thank goodness, but it still scares me to do all the calling. I hate to bug people, but it is just part of it. I am sure I will get over it. Stephanie was very encouraging! We have church tonight and our Children's program is starting. Oh Lord, I pray with all my heart that you bring some kids Tucker's age. He wants more friends at church and I want that for him. We had a lady call us up and wanted to see the house and then made us an offer. It was not an offer we could entertain, but it was nice to get an offer - without a realtor. It will happen!

This morning I am going back to my devotion/study about idols. Oh Lord, thank you for the ways you brought to my mind things that could be an idol here on earth. The issue I feel is most common with the things here on earth are money and people. We put too much trust in both and we expect too much out of both. Thoughts or actual statements we have all heard: "If we only had more money or made a certain amount then things would be fine. If i can get this much in my account then I can rest. I am going to buy no matter what because I can just pay for it later. I am not going to tithe because I can just give to whomever and know that my money is put to better use. I have to have this!" There is definitely a world on bondage when you are hording and working so hard for that nest egg, but the greater noose is when you owe to everyone and can not seem to get it under control for one reason or another. I have heard too many testimonies about this. One of my close friends was a recovering shop-aholic when i met her. Her stories were incredibly intense and made me almost not be able to breath just hearing her describe the hole she had dug. It is not just bondage, it is sin, and an idol.

We idolize people. It can start with just an admiration or inspiration, but can quickly move into an all out idolization. I got to hear Mandissa at Deeper Still and it was incredible. She talked about being on American Idol and how desperate people were to not just be recognized, but loved. She talked about her obvious addiction to food - what bravery she had! But we think we know all these people that we really don't know, but think we do, and want to be just like them. This can be a preacher, teacher, neighbor, celebrity, singer..................... The really tough thing is we put so much pressure on them. We have these ideas of things they should do and when they don't we feel crushed as if they let us down! They are just living their lives having no idea we thought one way or another............ It is not fair to them, but it most certainly not fair to our Lord. He is the only one we will not get disappointed in. He is perfect and never changing. He is merciful and also constant. You can not predict what He is going to do in each situation, but You can claim how He has done things in the past (review His faithfulness) and believe in asking that He might see fit to move that way again! He deserves to be the one we run to, He deserves to be the one we look up to for everything, He deserves to be the one we worship, He deserves to be the one we get goo-gooed about. He deserves the one that get our whole heart. Oh Lord, my heart gets torn so often over people that I turn into an idol. Forgive me for putting so much pressure on them and forgive me for neglecting my love for you!! Replacing my love for you with something else - usually a person! Oh Lord, forgive me!!

The last of Exodus 20:4 says the we also should not worship anything "in the waters below". I am not too much of a water person. We don't boat, but we do fish a lot! Well, I should say my hubby and son - the girls like it too, but don't get invited very often. The thing that comes to mind in this section is passion. I know there are people that are passionate about saving the earth and water included....................... I reckon that too can become a form of worship. Or missing church and worship to go "commune with God in a boat, at the beach, at the lake, wherever water is". Anything and everything can be an idol. It just all depends on how quickly we could give it up or what it does to us when missing in our lives. An Idol - it is so much more than just a tangible ting - it is all about the heart and motivation.

Lord, thank you for helping me to know what you are asking of me and what you require of me. All this idol stuff is not new, but it is great to write it out and really think about it as I get it on "paper". Lord, I want to be sold unto you and you only. I want to worship you with all I have no matter what I have or little I have. I want to use what you give me to worship you, not worship what you give me! Oh Jesus - let my heart be pure like a child. I want to see you today! I love you!!!

435 - 2nd Commandment

Good morning Lord - thank you for a victorious day, yesterday! We had some work difficulties - power outage, ceiling leaks, but we got it all back together and working. I got all my stuff together for TEAMKID on Wednesday, just a few more things to buy. Aerobics was the biggest night ever. I think we had close to 20 women and there were some regulars that were not there! It was great and my legs don't even hurt that bad today. After that we met at the old/new house to go over everything with the electrician. He can not start for 2 or 3 more weeks, but then says we have a lot of stuff to do... In the mean time we have hired 3 guys to be taking the wallpaper off the walls. They are doing a fantastic job and fast!!! wow!!!

My friend reminded me that I had said I was going to do a "study" on idols and I totally forgot. I guess i would think about it from time to time, but her call on it made me think what better timing. So that is briefly what I am going to do today and for a while.

The 2nd Commandment is "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." Ex. 20:4 In that verse, without dissecting it much, God is pretty clear that there should not be any idol from anywhere! Certainly not from heaven, but on earth, or even from the waters. Isn't that interesting that He had to mention from Heaven. How can anything from heaven be an idol. Oh I think it is so very easy. First of all, an idol is that which we worship, give time to, give thought to, steals our time from Him in any form or fashion - just something that takes our focus away from the Lord. SO how could we have an idol from Heaven. In churches we get so caught up in how we are going to worship and when and with what instruments, etc. We know in heaven we are going to spend a huge amount of our time in worship if not all. So we begin to prepare ourselves for that very time. Before we know it we are worshipping the act of worship instead of the Lord. WE are so head over heel with the new ways, songs, times................we lose sight of the ONE to worship!

Now worship on the earth can go on for days. Of course I talked about yesterday the worship of food and such. That is huge for so many people. I heard from so many of you through comments, but mainly offline about that too being a struggle for you. Thank you for your encouragement and honesty. Man that is one huge slap in the face to Satan. He wants us to think one of 2 things in almost every situation. 1) you are the only one that struggles with this so you better be quiet or be thought of as a fool and worse. OR 2) everyone feels this way or everyone does this so it won't be so bad when you jump in. Go ahead do it... So many women, even those like me that don't have a lot to lose, but want to get this under control............thank you for emailing your thoughts to me. I think the hardest part about this idol is that good people, well meaning people, kind, loving, sweet ones want to encourage me that I look fine. I know I don't have much change on the outside that needs to take place, but this is a heart issue. We think that because there is not 50 to lose that it can't be that serious or can't really be anything to be concerned about. That is is exactly a lie from the pit of Hell. He wants us to dismiss everything!! He wants us to belittle the situation or thoughts. Then by gollly when it is out of control satan is going to come back with a vengeance blaming, accusing, shaming, laughing, assigning guilt, etc.... he loves it when we dismiss sin and only come back to it when it gets bad. satan loves when we do the same thing with our relationship with the Lord. We ignore Him or do little with Him until it gets real bad. Then all of a sudden we rush to Him expecting a miracle when there really is no reason He should ever come through. He does sometimes and that is where I just get flattened by His grace. WOW!!!

Well, Lord, I need to get ready for the day. I am still not used to this job thing. It is very hard on me, but i am sure good for me. How do full-time working moms do it??????? I am already looking at retirement!! ha! Father, please make me aware of my idols. Help me to see those good things that can be confused as only good and not an idol. May we fight the obvious things with all our might and through your strength and power! Lord, I want nothing to stand in front of You!! I want to bow to only You and mean it!!! Lord, forgive me!! I love you!

430 - Laying face down in awe!

Oh Lord, my body is so sore that even typing is hard!! We have done 2 days of lunges and just plain old hard work at aerobics and I can barely sit down and type this. My toosh is so tender to anything!! Anyway..................... too much information, i guess!!

I need to thank you for the wonderful victory yesterday. I set out to do my family good in cooking, i set out to be a merchant ship, i set out to bless them with a great dinner and IT WORKED!!! Oh thank you Lord, thank you! I prepared early to have crock pot steak and mash potatoes, fruit, and veggies - it came all together and the kids ate like crazy. Now I just wish Clay had been here to indulge too. He is always so good at eating a ton even when he probably had rather not. Thank you Lord for your visible encouragement! Tonight will be a bit different because we have Tucker's baseball practice and a fall festival to attend. Our church things don't start until next week!

Lord Jesus - I am really at a loss for words today. I have my verse in Proverbs that i have dissected - verse 16 - but am just wanting to sit before you today and praise. My radio is on the background and I just want to praise. You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song!! Oh Lord you are so good to me. You heal my broken heart. You are my Father in Heaven! You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song!! That is what you are!!! Oh Lord, I just love you and am in love with you. You are doing so many things around me and I just can hardly take it all in. I see you in everything and want to be part of what you have going on. I love the most that I see a revival going on in my church and it is outstanding! Lord, your blessings are almost too much!

I would never ask you to stop, but why is it that you continue! Lord, why have you done so much for me! I just sit back take a huge deep breath like David in 1 Samuel - why would you be so good tome. I mean it with all my heart and YOU know my heart - I do not deserve any of this! I am not even talking about visible blessings, I mean the peace and joy you have placed in my heart. Just the joy of knowing you and walking with you daily. Lord, why, why would you commune with me daily, second by second! Oh Lord, it is overwhelming! I can hardly stand it!! But at the same time I want to be closer and closer! Draw me in Lord. I want to feel your breath!

Oh Lord, have your way! Do your thing - show me your glory more and more! Show off and have full reign in my life. I love you my Savior and am so unworthy! I just can hardly stand it! Sing your songs over me and may I praise you forever!!! My Savior, my King, My Lord, my Jesus, my Everything, my strength, my comforter, my lover of my soul, my fortress!!!!!!!!!!!! You are it!!! Thank you Lord - thank you!!! I just don't know why you do it!! thank you! I just want to lay face down in awe today - that is it!

344 - Worthy is the Lamb

This is one of my favorite praise songs EVER! (If anyone from my church reads this, don't you know our piano player could belt this out so beautifully!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to figure out her name.)

This morning I found myself in Jer. 33:22 - "I will make the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who minister before me as countless as the stars of the sky and as measureless as the sand on the seashore.' " My current devotion on David ended with the promise of more to come. Jesus - He is more than enough. Oh Lord, if i am honest I get myself into such a pickle of feelings because I don't understand nor comprehend your majesty or holiness or awesomeness. I am so excited to worship you forever, be in your presence, bow before the throne and meet everyone else in heaven, but then I struggle with all the things yet I have not done here on Earth. Like being a Grandma, seeing the kids get married and grown, living old and gray with Clay, seeing what else God's has for me in ministry, etc... I guess that is the flesh and not truly understanding how menial those things are compared to His greatness and sitting at the throne!

This verse this morning is a promise. It is promise of more Kings that the Lord anoints and appoints will sit on the throne and THE King is coming to be the final ruler. Can you imagine that?? Lord Jesus, how different the world will be when you are sitting in Jerusalem. Oh how different I will be. Worthy is the Lamb. High and lifted up - the Darling of Heaven!! Oh Lord, allow me to grasp just a small part of your holiness and specialness. Allow my heart to overflow with the Joy of Jesus and serving you. Allow me to more often turn from my sin and give all back to you. Allow me to not think so much of my needs, but think of what You might want from me. Oh Lord, let me fall in love with you!!

One thing I need to remember is that You are still sitting on the throne in heaven. When there are things I am going through - it is not a surprise to You. You are well aware and full aware! Oh Father I have a situation in my life where I need big time wisdom and patience. I don't know how to react and I am not sure what to do. I need wisdom and wise counsel. I don't need to make mistakes in this situation, and need to follow You will. Oh Lord, help me. Nevertheless You reign and You are holy, trustworthy and WORTH - Worthy is the Lamb. Still deserving of all my praise and adoration!! You are it and I want to know more of you!! I love you!

Today is my church's free Memorial Day Celebration. It is going to be great - as long as the rain holds off. Oh please Lord, just a few hours. Going to be rides, tons of food, face painting - all kinds of things. A band, music, etc!!!!!!!!!!!!! and all free!! Starts at noon - come on down!

I got all my Believing God studies on Saturday. I am sooooooooo excited. Going to be great! If you still want to come and have not told me - come on. 8pm on Thursday, mi casa!

Jesus - thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for your righteousness. thank you for your perfectness. thank you for everything. Worthy is the Lamb. Help my concerned heart!

338 - On Our Face

Lord Jesus - in 1 Chron. 29:10-20. This is where David is praying together with the nation of Israel - how did they do that without microphones............but then again, how in the world did they build even half of all they did back then. But anyhow - verses 10-13 is what I call the Crown Ministries verses. It is about everything being God's and everything we have comes from Him and we just need to live with open hands allowing Him to take and give constantly. Hold tightly to nothing, but our salvation! I have never done that program or whatever you might call it, but I have heard a ton of great things about it.

Then David, still the king, goes on to just praise the Lord and lead the whole nation in a time of worship. I know most people can probably imagine that - but to have a preacher or leader for that matter lead everyone in a time of worship. I am not talking about just praise music and a prayer - David and his people got down prostrate, on the ground!!!, and worshipped. Holy cow, i think that is awesome. I have seen my preachers in the past worship and pray - but never to the point of getting on the floor or actually being very "visible" in their worship - I have never gone to a church where worship was much more than singing. What I mean, is my old church worshipped and the music was incredible - they had it all as far as equipment, etc, but as far as seeing a minister lift their hands or anything remotely close to that - didn't happen. I am not slamming them at all - just a southern baptist church with much tradition and they just hadn't gotten there just yet. I am sure it has changed even from the time I have moved.

If you have read this blog for any amount of time you know that I think the world of my current pastor and his wife - awesome people and lovers of the Lord, big time! Our church is short a worship minister and so our preacher, Chad, leads that as well. It is so special and maybe if we did have someone I wouldn't know this about Chad, but it is so special to see him worship. He is a huge 6'8 dude that is not scared to raise his hands, bow down, Praise, Praise, Praise - it is so beautiful! And his awesome wife happens to be about 6'1 - yep, tall kids - not afraid to worship as well. My whole point about this is....................when leadership is willing to let it all go and just be a worshipper as if it were just Jesus and them, it can lead to unexplainable revival because of the effect on those around! I am not accustomed to raising my hands, never spoke in tongues, or even bowed while others are standing - and I know most of this is because I have never let myself go there - held back - but, didn't see it from my leadership and so............. But now at my new church - they have taught me how to worship. And the leadership participates. I don't understand everything, but I know they really love Jesus and are seeking Him. The worship time is just an expression of their devotion and love!! It is beautiful! (Side note: I am not saying you have to "do" anything to wroship. Some people can just stand or sit and really praise. But I am just talking about what this scripture specifically says about getting prostrate, etc.)

The nation of Israel is taking their cue from the king, their leader. Oh how awesome would it be for President Bush to do something like that - i guess on TV or something. David was not a young thing at this point and as you recall he was not in the greatest of health. But it did not stop him. I assume he knew if others were going to follow, he could not just talk it - he had to do it!

This is speaking volumes to me once again about parenting. I can not just tell my kids to pray. I can not just tell my kids to worship. I can not just tell my kids to spread the Word. I can not just tell my kids to be nice. I can not just tell my kids to have faith!!!!!!!! I must show them!! David is imploring Solomon once again in this prayer to have wholehearted devotion - once again means uncut, undivided, unswerving - all for Him and none other! He also says of the whole nation in prayer - "God keep this desire and keep their hearts loyal to You." Oh Lord, yes that is it. Give, develop, grow a desire in my kids to love and be devoted to you above all else. May they be loyal to Your Word and Your calling on their lives. And Lord, as i do so often - keep me out of the way, don't let my desires and plans disturb what You got going on! That is hard and I am not sure I even understand the magnitude of that statement! But as of right now - I mean it with all my heart!

Lord, we have Tucker's first baseball scrimmage tonight - Clay is so sad he can not be there. Give Tucker precision with pitching and quick arms in batting. May his mind be in the game and ready to respond when the ball comes his way. I am going to the school to sale purses. I am just excited to be at the school and get to know everyone better and to make a few sales would be great too. Lu Lu, I think is sick. She keeps acting like she need to throw up or at least there might be something in her throat. She gagged all night and will not eat this morning. I guess we will take her back. She was fine yesterday, but when we came home from Courtney's is when i noticed she was not acting right. And Jesus - we are having such a time with SJ. She is constantly getting into trouble, getting into things, and just not behaving. What can I do with this specific child to make her understand - Lord, Help!!! I love you, Lord!

328 - Just Gotta Shout!

This morning I was in 2 Samuel 22: 1-55. I actually took the time to read it out loud and had "me some church" right in my own living room. Oh Lord Jesus, how wonderfully awesome You are. I feel the need to do some shouting today, but only in praise and adoration of You. I am overwhelmed with Your love this morning and just can not figure out how to love you even more. If there were something that i could do. I am such a list maker and then "crosser offer". Oh Lord, if a relationship with you were just about crossing things off the list and then continuing on how much easier would be for a person like me. But praise you Lord, You require so much more and want so much more from us. You want relationship and personality and interaction!!!!!!!! Oh Lord, I am just at a loss for words this morning because I am just so overwhelmed with all you have done in my life and all that You promise to do.

I feel like i am in a holding pattern right now. This holding pattern might last for another 2 years or longer, when all my kids are finally in school, but at the same time You are asking me to stay the course. Keep being faithful to meet with You each day and keep pressing forward in looking for all the things You are willing to reveal each day. Oh Lord, I think that is what I like the most about our relationship, but also the least. I love how You wait right to the perfect time to show me a secret of Your love for me, but then sometimes in the waiting I get frustrated. Oh Lord, how many times You must rub your head and think - Oh poor girl, just hold on. I will not let you down. I will not forget about you. I will not disappoint. But remember my ways are not your ways nor are your thoughts my thoughts! Jesus, thank you for your patience. Thank you for your mercy and your grace. Thank you for not giving up on me.

"The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not done evil by turning from my God." 2 Sam. 22:21-22
I love that verse especially coming from David - the Bathsheba man. At first when I read verse 22 I was like what - David had kept the ways of the Lord??? He had not done evil by turning from the Lord???????? What - now how could that be said. It says that David had not done evil by TURNING FROM THE LORD. It is not saying he never sinned - it is saying that even in his sin he never left the Lord. He never turned his back in such a way as to say - I quit, I will not walk with Him anymore. He sinned, sure we know all about that, but David always repented and turned back - just took longer than other times! It is a little concerning about the first part of that verse. "He has rewarded me according to the cleanness of my hands." Yikes!

Lord, you have given me the opportunity to speak tonight to a church on the edge of town. I will be speaking on a Balanced Lifestyle. I am excited - this is a very sweet church with lots of great women I long to know better. Lord, I pray the day goes smoothly so that I can prepare the way I need to - even more. Below is something I found earlier and just loved it. Hope you enjoy as well. Valarie - you will love it!!

290 - Worship and Week

Oh Holy Father and Lord, I am so tired I can just about pass out on this keyboard. No real reason, just tired and sleepy. We got all the partying in for Tucker and I think he really had a great time. He and his little buddies are so cute and silly. Making all those boy sounds and stuff - all of them too scared to admit they MIGHT be interested in a girl. They are fun!

Church yesterday was great. It was Palm Sunday and Chad was incredible again. You could tell he had done so much research in preparing for that sermon. Lots of history, lots of OT backing, and multiple scriptures - just awesome. It was a very evangelistic message - "The King is coming - Are you ready?"

We had another great morning of worship as well. I was so touched by 2 particular people. I know I am supposed to be worshipping and I am, but there are 2 people that just caught my eye and filled my heart with such blessings. There is one man, I don't know his name or anything - He walks with a cane, but is quite young. He can not stand long and is always smiling. We usually sit very close to him. He is always with the same woman, but I am not sure of their relationship, but she is very attentive to his needs and in helping him. She is one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. But he will stand for a few minutes in worship and then be forced to sit because of either pain or lack of strength - I am not sure. Yesterday as the praise team was ushering in the Spirit and glorifying the Lord, He had already been seated for some time. But all of a sudden, with great effort and no help, he raised to his feet with both hands raised to the heavens. It was almost like I could see the angels helping him to his feet and raising his arms. I imagined the Father looking down on him with such a pleased heart ready to bless this man just based on his worship. He was putting aside all hindrances, all disabilities, all pain, and pride - standing to his feet and worshiping in complete self-denial. Oh how i wish everyone could see this servant of the Lord praising Him and teaching those around how to defy the odds and worship!!! It was just incredible.

There is another older man that I have learned so much from "worship watching". I believe his name is Mr. Revis. He is quite a small man, but so gentle. Again always smiling and offering a hand to anyone walking in the door. He will always greet you and make you feel at such peace. When he is worshipping - I almost can not describe it. It is so incredibly gentle and almost as if he is looking at the face of the Lord. I must explain that our church music is not quiet - VERY loud - very beat at times and very contemporary. No hymns whatsoever. You stand for at least 30 minutes with no breaks and many days it goes for much longer. But Mr. Revis sings every word and most of the time has his eyes closed concentrating on every word. He will grasp his hands close to his heart as if to make sure not one word is uttered without purity and perfection. It is obvious he knows who he is worshipping and he is serious about coming to Him with great reverence. There are days you will see tears stream down his face and that is about all i can take. He has such an incredible walk with the Lord - at least in his worship. He is even so gentle to raise his hands in such humility. Mr. Revis is teaching me how to worship and does not even know it.

This week is going to be quite busy. We are leaving for Gulf Shores for Spring break. But before all that the kids have parities at school, I have to speak on Thursday night, and i must go shopping for some clothes for the beach - just got to! ha Oh Lord this week as I am going about my days and doing those things i just have to do, please remind me to worship and praise. Lord, keep me thoughts on you and walking with you closer and closer. Help me to think about others - to serve and not to be served. Help me to remember the great sacrifice You did for us this time of year and help me to relate that to my kids as well. Guard Clay and protect him. Give his success. Keep things flowing positively in the closing of our house. Lord, in the month of April would you give me 5 more engagements to calendar? I know there are a few waiting on decisions, but even more. I would just be so excited!!! I love you my Lord.