512 - New Year's Resolutions - Tift

Dear Lord, you know the plans I have for today and I commit them to you. I have an important meeting this morning and I have some others things as well that are important to me. Lord, give me wisdom and solid thoughts. Give me confidence and gentle boldness. Give me patience and much, much love!! Thank you in advance for taking care of things!

Lord, I have tift or is it a rift...... anyway... with myself and other things I have been reading. I decided to not verbally say or make any new years resolutions and all over the web I saw the same things from many of the fellow Christian bloggers. I saw things like - I am not going to make any kind of resolution this year. I am just going to pursue Godliness or Grace or Righteousness, etc. I thought or maybe even said the same thing. I guess there are several reasons for that. 1) Don't want everyone to know I have failed again. 2) Don't want to be like everyone else. 3) Don't want to make promises that I can not keep again. 4) Think it is hokey and just a silly thing anyway. My list could go on and on. But then again I vowed probably just to myself that I did want to resolve to pray more and more diligent about my Bible studying. That is noble and a good thing - many bloggers had the same idea or convictions...

So what is my problem. I am willing to commit to do or be better at what God is obviously in or is about, but those things that I have to invite Him into I am not willing to commit. Lord Jesus, this is what I feel you saying to my heart..........God is all about me praying, God is all about me studying His Word - those are givens and frankly I don't think I could ever actually reach the mark or my goal at being a proficient prayer(er) or knowing all the Word let alone in one year. When I do become proficient or know all the Word I think He will just take me home. But those other things such as losing weight, diminishing my computer time, getting an accountability group together, getting my ministry and office organized and stay organized, staying on a budget, etc.......... Those are all things that God is "in", but it is not so obvious because we have to take Him there in sort of a way.

Here is my point I feel the Lord convicting me about. If we want to see change in our lives we have to commit it to Him. Doing things on our own will never work. We have to bring God into every single area of our lives. He has to be in our weight loss. He has to be in our financial pursuits. He has to be in our thoughts of organization. He has to be in it all. And He is. Since He is living inside of me - I am the temple of the Holy Spirit I Cor. 6:19 - I am taking Him everywhere and in everything. He is there when I am able to not indulge and yet He is quenched when I blow it and eat too much! He is there when I think I have to have that skirt (or rather baseball cap for me), but know better. My Lord and Savior is begging me to take Him into every area of my life. He wants to be in more than my prayer closet, He wants me to take Him into my kitchen, into my workout room (if i had one), into my clothes closet, into my purse, etc. He wants and will have access into every area of my life - especially my thoughts!

Lord, what is it that I am afraid of? Am i afraid that I won't please you? Am i afraid that I won't be accepted after failure? Am I afraid that someone will actually hold me accountable? Am I afraid to be vulnerable to the World Wide Web? What is it Lord? Vulnerability has never been an issue for I don't think. I am what I am and am not too much on hiding. Many, many other things are my issue, but that is not one that I see at this time. I have a good friend that is being called by the Lord to expose all this year - be completely vulnerable at all costs. It is beautiful! I am shocked at how many people deal with this issue. I had no idea! But for me - and Lord, help me to be vulnerable here - I just don't take the Lord into enough areas of my life. If i did I think I would have more self-control when I sat down to eat. I would have more self-control when I am talking among friends. I would be able to walk away from a killer sale that says I have got to have one more black pair of pants. I would have more discipline about my computer time. I would not worship any others gods is what it boils down to!!

So Lord, there it is. I want to live the victorious life. I want to be committed to everything you have called me to. I want to hear your voice in every area of my life. I want you to have full reign over me in everything , i mean everything! I want to be skinny, I want to be organized, I want to be a prayer warrior, I want to be in an accountability group, I want to be financially responsible................. I want you, Lord!!! I want you to have your way with me! I want it all - what you have for me. I know that I can not and will not be faithful in any of these ares without your help, guidance, push, discipline, and moment by moment involvement in my life!! I want to feel your breath......... always. Thank you for this or rather these convictions Lord. Forgive me for not taking you with me in all areas of my life. Forgive me for thinking or at least by my actions saying I can do it on my own. Forgive me for my pride and forgive me for not believing You! Lord, here we go! Off to another victoriously living day!! Victory in Jesus!

259 - The War Within

Lord Jesus- a few of my friends and I are waging war against fleshly desires. We are challenging each other to give up a few things for an extended time. It means war. Why, because to be truly committed and actually follow through it will be harsh at best, rough, and at times excruciating! But Lord, I am praying Phil. 4:13 - one of my favorite childhood verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Anything!!

Lord, I am so encouraged by many small details in my life right now because I feel like you have ordained this time of war. I read in I Samuel this morning chapter 27. This is where David set up camp right in the midst of the enemy and then began to irrationally attack various camps for no obvious reason, so the commentary says. He was just living in fear, frustration, paranoia, and panic for so long - killing and defending became second nature to him. He was in constant war. Similarly, our war never ends either. If you think it has, then you have probably let up and given into the pressure.

So as were asked to move to Psalm 10 - how they know this i don't know, but it is so cool - where David is writing out his feelings as a result of I Samuel 27. But in that Psalm one can hear such disgust for the enemy, fear that God is not going to come through, frustration with how things seem to be going (the bad guy is always winning), etc. He is really expressing to the Lord feelings that seem too honest at times, but I think ones God can really work with and prepare David for great things. Having a heart that is not real with God, even though He knows, and a heart that is hiding or being superficial i think only brings God disgust and "pass her by" kind of results.

But quickly in David fashion, he comes around at the end of the Psalm verse 17, and this is why I know God is in the details of my war against fleshly desires. "You hear, O Lord, the desires of the afflicted; you encourage them and you listen to their cry." David concludes that God may have him in a tough situation and actually at war, but David is confident that God responds with actions - He hears, encourages, and listens. And yes, the first and last are different. In my own war(s) the Lord Jesus hears how i want things to be different and my dreams for another day. The Lord Jesus encourages me in many different ways and I must be open to receive those Holy hugs. And the Lord Jesus listens to my cries on defeated days or days that i am tired and feel as if i can not fight any longer. He is always there to pick me up and deliver me away from the enemy. I just have to call on Him and claim the victory!

Verse 16 - The Lord is King for ever and ever. Enough said!! Amen!