739 - Enter into NOGS land - No other gods!

My Sunday school class started the NOGS study last night.  It is going to be incredible.  I am so excited about our future!  Lord, help me to not fall flat on my hopes and dreams for us all.  Help me to hear from you and what you would have for us!  I want to obey!!  We want to serve! 

I wrote this post some time ago, but it went along perfectly with what I studied this morning!    I hope the NOGs girls glean from what He spoke to me some time ago.  

Still not 100% sure about my hip.  Think there is some nerve damage.  Gave me a shot and said to keep on keeping on.  So that i am excited about all that!  Thank you for your concern and prayers!  You all are the best!!  

Exodus 20:5 "You shall not bow down to them or worship them." Now if i just say that lightly i would think that the Lord was being kind of redundant right there. Isn't bow and worshipping the same thing? Yeah, that is what i thought too, but after researching just a tad at this wee hour of the morning, i see that it is related, but not really the same.

Bow - hawah, pronouced "hayway"(i think), to prostrate oneself, to bow down, to worship. Denotes an act of respect to one in superior position, and essentially signifies submission!

Worship - abad, pronouced "aybad", to serve, minister, worship, to work, do. Denotes service or work that may be directed towards things. Signifies serving as a slave, or king or ruler.

Now once we put it all out there you can see how they are so different and why the Lord felt the need to say don't just do one, but don't do the other. Oh how i love the Word. Bow is the act of doing it to the idol - worshipping the idol and moving the body in such a way that it is obvious what one is doing. And then worship is like getting up from that bow and asking the idol what can I do for you or how can i serve you or how can i minister to you? See?

Wow, what a clear perspective now. I hate to know that I am caught in that position much more than I care to admit. Lord Jesus forgive me. I know every day throughout the day I bow to too many things and some I have no idea. I am putting my body in a way that signifies to all those around that I love this or that idol and am worshipping it. It reminds me of my old dog, Rebel. When it got down to eating time, he was bowing. You got near his food bowl and he would start growling and showing his teeth. It was obvious to the whole world this was not a time to mess with him, he was bowing and we all knew it! Even in eating how often do i see that in my own life. Oh Lord, break me, break this worship! I want to bow to you only! help!!!

Worship happens in my life as well only seen a bit different. How often do we see moms bowing to their kids and then getting up from that to worship them, serve them in any and every way! I am so so so so so proud of my aerobics ladies. There are many in there with very small kids - even some first children. There is one lady in there with a 7 week old when we started. For her to be able to drop her child off in childcare and then take some time to workout her body - that is to be commended. Many times, especially the first time mom, will refuse to do anything for herself even though it makes her a much better mom. It is a form of worship. I was always guilty of going in the total opposite direction, but this is one thing i saw all too often in Charlotte - the world of stay at home moms and I was one of those only my worship was being on the go!

Oh Lord, teach me!! Help me to listen. I got my scripture cards in yesterday and will be carrying around a few for spiritual reinforcement to break my idols! With all this worship and bowing talk I want to leave with this scripture - it was my mentors memory verse many years ago. Ps. 95:6 "Come let's us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker." (That is the same worship that we are talking about, but a different bow down.) My mentor, Rae Deal, could have easily been an idol in my life, but God moved her away from me across the country before that could happen. Both she and I are terrible phone talkers and so it has been a tough split. She is a great letter writer though! I like email!

Lord, may today, not worrying about tomorrow, but today come before you and bow down in worship - I want to kneel before my Maker!! You are worthy! I love you!! 

512 - New Year's Resolutions - Tift

Dear Lord, you know the plans I have for today and I commit them to you. I have an important meeting this morning and I have some others things as well that are important to me. Lord, give me wisdom and solid thoughts. Give me confidence and gentle boldness. Give me patience and much, much love!! Thank you in advance for taking care of things!

Lord, I have tift or is it a rift...... anyway... with myself and other things I have been reading. I decided to not verbally say or make any new years resolutions and all over the web I saw the same things from many of the fellow Christian bloggers. I saw things like - I am not going to make any kind of resolution this year. I am just going to pursue Godliness or Grace or Righteousness, etc. I thought or maybe even said the same thing. I guess there are several reasons for that. 1) Don't want everyone to know I have failed again. 2) Don't want to be like everyone else. 3) Don't want to make promises that I can not keep again. 4) Think it is hokey and just a silly thing anyway. My list could go on and on. But then again I vowed probably just to myself that I did want to resolve to pray more and more diligent about my Bible studying. That is noble and a good thing - many bloggers had the same idea or convictions...

So what is my problem. I am willing to commit to do or be better at what God is obviously in or is about, but those things that I have to invite Him into I am not willing to commit. Lord Jesus, this is what I feel you saying to my heart..........God is all about me praying, God is all about me studying His Word - those are givens and frankly I don't think I could ever actually reach the mark or my goal at being a proficient prayer(er) or knowing all the Word let alone in one year. When I do become proficient or know all the Word I think He will just take me home. But those other things such as losing weight, diminishing my computer time, getting an accountability group together, getting my ministry and office organized and stay organized, staying on a budget, etc.......... Those are all things that God is "in", but it is not so obvious because we have to take Him there in sort of a way.

Here is my point I feel the Lord convicting me about. If we want to see change in our lives we have to commit it to Him. Doing things on our own will never work. We have to bring God into every single area of our lives. He has to be in our weight loss. He has to be in our financial pursuits. He has to be in our thoughts of organization. He has to be in it all. And He is. Since He is living inside of me - I am the temple of the Holy Spirit I Cor. 6:19 - I am taking Him everywhere and in everything. He is there when I am able to not indulge and yet He is quenched when I blow it and eat too much! He is there when I think I have to have that skirt (or rather baseball cap for me), but know better. My Lord and Savior is begging me to take Him into every area of my life. He wants to be in more than my prayer closet, He wants me to take Him into my kitchen, into my workout room (if i had one), into my clothes closet, into my purse, etc. He wants and will have access into every area of my life - especially my thoughts!

Lord, what is it that I am afraid of? Am i afraid that I won't please you? Am i afraid that I won't be accepted after failure? Am I afraid that someone will actually hold me accountable? Am I afraid to be vulnerable to the World Wide Web? What is it Lord? Vulnerability has never been an issue for I don't think. I am what I am and am not too much on hiding. Many, many other things are my issue, but that is not one that I see at this time. I have a good friend that is being called by the Lord to expose all this year - be completely vulnerable at all costs. It is beautiful! I am shocked at how many people deal with this issue. I had no idea! But for me - and Lord, help me to be vulnerable here - I just don't take the Lord into enough areas of my life. If i did I think I would have more self-control when I sat down to eat. I would have more self-control when I am talking among friends. I would be able to walk away from a killer sale that says I have got to have one more black pair of pants. I would have more discipline about my computer time. I would not worship any others gods is what it boils down to!!

So Lord, there it is. I want to live the victorious life. I want to be committed to everything you have called me to. I want to hear your voice in every area of my life. I want you to have full reign over me in everything , i mean everything! I want to be skinny, I want to be organized, I want to be a prayer warrior, I want to be in an accountability group, I want to be financially responsible................. I want you, Lord!!! I want you to have your way with me! I want it all - what you have for me. I know that I can not and will not be faithful in any of these ares without your help, guidance, push, discipline, and moment by moment involvement in my life!! I want to feel your breath......... always. Thank you for this or rather these convictions Lord. Forgive me for not taking you with me in all areas of my life. Forgive me for thinking or at least by my actions saying I can do it on my own. Forgive me for my pride and forgive me for not believing You! Lord, here we go! Off to another victoriously living day!! Victory in Jesus!

495 - Living Close, Clean, and with Purpose

Dear Lord, I am very rushed on time this morning. I have a purse party this morning at Lincoln School in Carmi and then another one tonight at Rachel's house in McLeansboro. So I have to get completely ready for the day before I walk out at 7:45. Back to the old working routine!! Lord, help us all and I do mean that! I pray that all goes well today and tonight. I pray that there are many, many sales of both purses and Rachel's beautiful baskets. Thank you, Lord!

This morning I found myself at an odd scripture - it was odd to me! I am asking the Lord for specific direction in regards to a specific challenge I feel like He has placed on Speaking Thru Me Ministries. I will reveal that challenge as I know the specific directions! Lord, Ginger and I am desperately seeking your will. She had lunch the other day with Kay. Of course Kay is a woman of huge wisdom and conviction. We feel like that was a divinely appointed time and much is to be taken and considered and prayed over from that appointment - so we are. Reveal, Lord!!

This morning in Jer. 13:1-11 it about a linen belt. Just the bottom section of my commentary said this was much like underwear. Now my first thought or exclamation was - Why does the Lord so often deal with matters of the privates - underwear, circumcision, etc. I do remember a study I did with Beth Moore and her explaining very carefully and precisely the meaning and relevancy of circumcision. It was a touchy subject to say the least and she did it without using any words that would have made you squirm - but I can not think of which study it was. Maybe Patriarchs??? Who knows!!

God tells Jeremiah to take his belt or underwear, knew ones he just had purchased, and put it on. Then after a short time HE tells him to take the underwear and go bury them in a crevice of Perath. So he does. Then the Lord after many days later, tells him to go dig up the belt only to find it "ruined and completely useless". So I am just thinking out loud here, but unsure totally here about this scripture. God explains that He will ruin the pride of Judah. They are doing anything but bringing Him honor and glory and He will ruin destroy that pride - they are fixin' to go into 70 years of captivity. He wants Israel to be bound to His waist like the belt and its original purpose.

I would hate to wear a pair of undies (oh i hope I don't get weird Google ads because of this blog and word content) that have not been washed and dried with fabric softener. Just the way things are these days. I thinking a round about way they may have been the same way back then. God is saying that the underwear that are used, unclean, and possibly rough and stiff are not of any use, useless!! #1 the guy wore them for a short amount of time I am sure making them at least undesirable if not unclean. Then he was asked to bury them and the dirt certainly gets them dirty. THEN just by the fact of nature running its course they were probably rained on. Have you ever not dried your clothes the right way - they get all stiff and yucky!! So now we have undies that are unclean, dirty from the soil (no pun intended), and probably stiff and uncomfortable from the elements - without purpose. Am I getting anywhere???? Lord help!

So the Lord is then saying He wants His people to be like the belt around His wait - living close to Him, Clean, and with Purpose. Only by living so close and intimately with the Father can we hear clearly from Him and know His heart and desires. Ps. 25:14 "The Lord confides in those who fear Him..." Isn't that awesome!! The Lord confides, He tells his heart and dreams, purposes, plans for us - but only if you are up close and intimately involved with the Savior - only through displaying a deep fear, awe, respect, reverence will those things be revealed!

The Lord requires us to be clean. Constant state of becoming blameless, seeking forgiveness, and righteousness! We only become clean and holy through the blood of Christ. When we are not "fessed up" the effectiveness of the Holy Spirit is diminished in our lives - He is quenched! I want clean underwear every single day - the Lord needs a clean vessel to work through. (Wow this is kind of crazy to me - just the talk of underwear and my holiness. ha ha)

And of course the Lord has purpose, makes purpose for us, and is purposeful to us! Just like the underwear when they are soiled and stiff - they lose their purpose. Oh Lord, help me to never be stiff necked. Those times that i get that way help me to be softened by your grace, mercy through discipline. Lord, I am seeking Your Will!! I need to hear from you and desire to do nothing else but what you ask. Lord, give Ginger and I a Word to confirm what we are hearing. Thank you for the intimacy of underwear talk and applying it to my life - You amaze me Lord!! Wow - am I close any of this one Lord?? Reveal to me or have someone else direct me closer to what You are taking about in this passage!!! I love you - May today be blessed by You and your favor fall down on today's events!! I love you!!

482 - All out of Sorts

"Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive." 1 Cor. 10:23

First of all Lord Jesus I am so pumped that this verse uses hyphens. I am hyphen and exclamation queen and now I see where I get it - from my Abba Father. I use them in the wrong way, but I will learn as I grow up, right. Just being silly, but I was excited to see hyphens! Anyway, just kind of feeling out of sorts today.

Lord Jesus, I know this cyst thing is really no big deal - it could go away on its own - all the bleeding could stop (it has gotten better)- all the cramping could just stop (hardly feel anything at all)- and the dehydrating feelings can be quenched - I know you can do all that. But it just makes me wonder. What I have wondered from the day this all started was how bad do your hormones have to be out a wack before things start happening or changing in your body for the worst - like something like this cyst.

I know I have heard that weight gain is one sure fire way to get your hormones out of wack. But is it like 15, 25, or more than 50 to get them messed up? I just have to ask myself if i could lose this extra 15 pounds would this cyst have been less likely. I know everyone will want to say it can happen to anyone and we are all so quick - myself included - to not ever blame some one's health situation based on anything they have done. BUT - for me, I have never, ever had any females situations. I have been late - but that was 5 pregnancies. Never a moment's trouble getting pregnant, had good pregnancies - except the one miscarriage, but that was at 7 or 8 weeks, and just pretty normal. But i have never carried this extra weight for this amount of time. Could it be effecting my health even though by most standards it is just "some" extra weight? I think so.

Boundaries - I love them. I love to know where I can go and what I can not do. I like to know where I stand and to what extent that could change. I have a tough time with freedom. Even as laid back as i am, i still like to know what is expected, etc. I think I could do well as a puppet! But Jesus you are reminding me that is not the way you have made me. You have allowed everything - even terrible sin - to be permissible in my life. Obviously not everything is beneficial. That beneficial is kind of interesting. It means to bring together for the benefit of another. Another - I thought we were talking about ME. I thought this verse was talking about what was good for me and not good for me................... Well it is, but is not too. Verse 24 says, "Nobody should seek his own good but the good of others."

So while I am thinking this is all about me - will i ever grow up, ha! - this verse is really concerned about the things I do that are are not beneficial or constructive to those around me. Now that is totally different perspective. That constructive is a bit different than beneficial. Constructive means to build up or build to edify, strengthen, encourage. In a spiritual sense, to build the Church - edify Christ, build up and encourage the Church - all its members.

Now I think I have got it - Everything is permissible for me individually, but not everything is good to bring together another for their benefit - it is not always good to drag someone in on your stuff. Everything is permissible for me individually, but not everything will edify the Church or build it up. Bottom line with all things I am involved in - it is not about me! I am to seek the good of others. Duh - of course I know that, but for some reason the Lord wanted to bring that to me!! Lord, as I go about my day, will you please bring this verse very specific to my life and changes you would like to see take place. The verse in 1 Cor. 6:12 is just a tad different... The last of it says "but I will not be mastered by anything" - there it is again............. idols!!!!

I love you Lord - I am hanging tight to you - I love your consistency. Lord, forgive my out of sorts feelings and struggling faith at times. Forgive my questioning spirit and impatience! Father - all i want is to love you deeper. To feel you in the very marrow of my bones. All i want is to know your Word more consistently and have it flow from my lips! All i want is to please the Father and know You can count on me. I want to be righteous and thankful! I want to be gracious and consistent!!! I want to be consumed by You and everything You are about. I want to surrender it all!!!!!!!! Show me where I am not!!! I love you, Lord - help me to love you more!!! Increase my faith, hope and love!!!!!!!

479 - TO God be the Glory!

Leaving this Blog week with some scripture of Thanksgiving - and still a tad of idol worship. Lord, I just can't leave that subject, can I? Still have not learned enough to move on I guess!! All glory to You!! Praise and Honor to the Highest!! You are it! You are mine and I am yours. Thank you thank you thank you!!! Happy Thanksgiving!

1 Chron. 16:25-36

25 For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the nations are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.
27 Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy in his dwelling place.
28 Ascribe to the LORD, O families of nations, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength,
29 ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name. Bring an offering and come before him; worship the LORD in the splendor of his [a] holiness.
30 Tremble before him, all the earth! The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
31 Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!"
32 Let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them!
33 Then the trees of the forest will sing, they will sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth.
34 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
35 Cry out, "Save us, O God our Savior; gather us and deliver us from the nations, that we may give thanks to your holy name, that we may glory in your praise."
36 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Then all the people said "Amen" and "Praise the LORD."

474 - What Does It Look Like?

When one of my kids are sick I am always thinking or wondering why God did not make germs blue or at least tinted so that I could clean them all up. I want to try to rid the house of them so that one of the other 3 do not get whatever is the choice of sickness for the moment! Wouldn't that be cool to do that with a bad attitude as well - just wipe it up and be done! I am just thinking it would be easier if i could identify the little stinkers and then dispose quickly. But no! They have to be invisible. Even though they are invisible they make a distinct mark on whomever they have attacked - and sometimes my carpet too! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Jesus - you have revealed the same thing to me this morning. I am STILL in the idol, reflections, image, etc. studying. And so it dawned on me this morning that I have been studying all about idol worship and what that might look like. Didn't have to go far to find an good example.......me! But then I thought, but what does a real idolater look like. I mean do they certainly personality traits. If there is something obvious that I could see for myself then I could just wipe it up and be done. Or are they invisible?? And it was if I could hear the Lord say - I thought you would never ask.

Eph. 5:5 "For this you can be sure: no immoral, impure, or greedy person - such a man is an idolater - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." There it is the Lord shouted to me. Idolater has at least 3 very distinct characteristics - and I am sure others as well. But these are the three germs you will want to quickly wipe up and do away with! Immoral, impure, and greedy - concoction for a severe rascal in the kingdom of God!

Immoral - Lord, so often I think of that as the person that is sexually immoral, but even as I sit here today, there are areas in my life that are immoral. Shows that I find myself flipping through. Thoughts that enter into my head that are related to my past or something I should not have been a part of. Immoral - just something that is not moral. Being dishonest. Not giving back even a penny when I know I have been given back too much money - or even realizing it later. There are decisions that I make that can have a moral connotation to them that i ignore for some reason or another. Just because I am not being unfaithful to my husband or am not watching some porn stuff or having abortions or whatever......... does not mean that i can't have immorality about me. I am not immune I do know that! So check - i have the first trait!

Impure - oh goodness gracious! This word actually means being filthy on the inside and outside! Impure thoughts, impure motives, impure words, impure whatever. This one kind of seems like a GIGO kind of thing. Garbage in and garbage out. This is thoughts that have nothing to do with glorifying our Lord and Savior or anything that takes our focus from Him. Thinking on his purity and righteousness leads us to the purity of mind that we should have. I really believe that insecurity and self-degrading thoughts can go in this category. Sooooooooo, you guess it - check - I have this one too.

Greedy - oh my word. I just don't even want to go here! I am on my way to Evansville today to do a bit of Christmas shopping and all i can think of is the things I would like for Christmas myself!! Greed!!!!!!!!! Oh Lord, greedy with my time. There are times I get irritated because the kids are needing one thing after another when I am working on something on the computer. I get greedy with my time for sure. Possibly greedy with my gifting - I only want to do what I want to do. Yep - check - I have this trait as well.

After taking an inventory of what an idolater looks like or appears to be - I confess that i fit the bill or fit the mold. But God - there is that wonderful phrase and truth that is so crucial to the Christian. Yes, I am all those things and I have even worse traits to add, but covered with the blood of Christ - oh goodness - need to raise my hand and type with one finger!!! Thank you Jesus - I have been redeemed!! Oh Lord, praise you for making me more than I could ever be. Only because of Your grace, mercy and power - it takes power to change one as filthy as me - can I ever stand before you whole. I am pure, moral, and giving because of You. When those traits do exude from my body it is only because of You. Naturally I want to be impure, immoral, and greedy. It is easier - but oh the joy and peace of serving You and Your powerful work in my life!! Thank you my Savior!! Thank you this morning for showing me what i am, but what you have redeemed as well. You have a lot riding on this... let me not disappoint!! What a risk you are taking!!! Lord, thank you thank you thank you for your redeeming power and cleansing nature! I love you, Father!

471 - Making my god

Dear Lord, thank you for such a productive day yesterday. I got 5 more contracts sent out and feel so blessed when I am able to do that. Thank you Father for those opportunities and divinely appointed events. Yesterday during my prayer time I was interrupted by the phone..........again. (One reason to meet with you early.) As the phone rang I gently said Lord, would you make that a December speaking engagement - I don't have hardly any, if any, in December - and I love talking about YOU during that time of year. Of course I let it go to the answering machine and guess what - someone wanting me to speak on December 9 - yep, December and my birthday. Thank you Lord, praise you!! That was fun!

Lord, I know how often I put you in a box or rather I keep you in a box. When it comes down to it I make you out to be the God i want or the God i expect. You don't work that way do you!! Thank you for that!! I appreciate you not making me be a puppet and You certainly will not stand to be a puppet either. Thank you!

I was reading in Exodus this morning - again about reflecting His image and idols - can't seem to get away from that topic. Plus I think it is so interesting that when I find something about reflecting His image, etc. there is always a correlation to idols. Hmmmm.... Exodus 32:4 "He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt." See, what I understand to be going on is pretty crucial. Moses has gone up to the mountain to MEET with God Almighty and the people get impatient waiting for him. So they go to their next best leader - not even a newly elected one, but the right hand man to Moses (there is a another lesson) - Aaron, and ask him to make them something to worship - "gods that will go before us" were the words. (This right hand man thing reminds me of the Joel Olsteen deal. His dad did things one way and now his son, Joel, has taken over and done things totally different - I don't believe for the best.)

So as Aaron was making the gods or idols - one in the same - i wonder what kind of thoughts were going through the people's minds. "When we get this all done then I won't be scared anymore. When we get this one made I will have all the luck in the world. When we get this one done I will have plenty of food and clothes. When we get this one done I can impress the family 4 tents down. When we get this one done it will make me so happy. When we get this one done I will be powerful and strong." The idols Aaron was constructing were for their purpose - their own intentions, their own selfish gain - had nothing to do with really worshiping.

Lord Jesus- how do I try to fashion you, how do I try to construct you, how do i try to mold you into what i want. Oh Lord, forgive me for the times that i do that. Forgive me for not understanding more fully who You are and for not worshipping that. I too get selfish and think I can make you into what i need or what i feel is best. It is all for selfish gain! Lord, help! Even in my prayers i am sure you wonder from time to time if I am talking to You or another. The ways that I address You surely make you wonder what I am praying to - it can't be the Lord Almighty. You are Holy Father and above all - highly esteemed and blessed!!

Thank you Lord for not being a feel good God. Thank you Lord for being a disciplinary and strong. Thank you for being perfect and without reproach! Thank you for being the perfect judge and all knowing of every man's heart. Thank you for seeing my true self and loving me the same. Thank you that i can not change you and if i try to it is not You that i am worshipping! Thank you that you will not be fashioned into anything other than the Holy and perfect Lord God. Thank you for ruling over my life and all of the universe. Thank you for being in control of all and allowing me to take part in a small portion. Thank you for being my portion!! Lord, you are enough, more than enough!! I am in love with you!!!

463 - Images Before Me

Dear Lord, It is so good to be back and in my usual position of writing out my devotion and quiet time. I really miss not doing that and I am sure I do not take in as much from the Word on that particular day when I don't get to blog. This blog reinforces what I have just learned on my floor all sprawled out. But more than anything Father, thank you for meeting with me any time and any place! You are incredible like that.

You still have me studying the images theme - being made in His image, reflecting the Lord, and also idols, that has to do with images as well. So today you took me straight to Ps. 97:7. There was a ton of dissection in it today and I love that part. "All who worship images are put to shame, those who boast in idols worship him, all you gods!" Oh this is really good - thank you Jesus.

"All who worship" - that is talking about physically doing things, serve and minister, getting the hands dirty, signifies as serving as a slave. "images" - those are things that are fashion by our hands, carved, etc. "put to shame" - to be ashamed, disappointed, disgraced, keep waiting, deceived - denotes confusion, dismay, embarrassment when things do not turn out as expected. "those who boast in idols" - glorifying those things that are weak, worthless, empty, vain, etc. "worship him, all you gods." - bow down, crouch, worship, to do obeisance - signifies to worship God with prayers even if not bowing down.

Ok Lord, bring this all together for me, please. One of the easiest things for a mom to worship are her kids. It comes very natural and to a point it almost seems right. But so often in that adoration and surrendering love to our kids, we begin to worship. And yes, Lord, I hear you say that even that is wrong. There terrible thing I have seen in my own life and in many other moms at the most inopportune times is how that worship is displayed. It seems to rear its ugly head when defense mode has kicked in or when anger has reached its peak. I have seen moms "go off" in protection of their child, or in defense of their child, or just because they feel someone has to - they can't stand up for themselves. I have seen very godly women absolutely act a fool right in front of their child in a weird kind of way that sort of is out of honor and respect for the child only in a bad, bad way. And i too am guilty.

According to this verse we do worship our kids - we serve them, get our hands dirty, and sometimes we do feel like a slave. Now not all that is bad, but in moderation. But when we turn our kids into images of worship that is not so good. We fashion them in our minds as what we want them to turn out to be and therefor anything getting in that way will be destroyed. Even a sweet teacher just trying to do her job. Even if she is wrong we feel a right to let her know it and feel obligated to do it in the most memorable fashion. She won't forget and neither will all those around or the child. We begin to worship this image of the child we have fashioned with our own hands and mind and waaalaaa - we have an idol!

Lord Jesus - I know I have been there and am still guilty of trying to make sure I have this and this and this in a certain child. Oh Lord, help me to relax and let them be what they are to be. Help me to not have such high expectations and yet still know when to push them for excellence. Help me to see their true potential and be joyous in all their different talents. Help me to accept what you have so graciously given me and to help drive that closer to You! Oh Lord, thank you for these kids!! I love every last little white hair on their heads!! I love the frustrating times as well because it draws me straight to you! Oh Lord, thank you for this privilege of mommying and never let me take it for granted!! Thank you Father!

Lord Jesus, that verse says that when I do worship images and idols I will be "put to shame". This spoke volumes to me. Translated it means that I will be disappointed in this idol. I will be ashamed and will keep waiting for something else or better. I will be deceived, have much confusion, and be embarrassed when things do not turn out like i expected. Oh Lord - I don't want to go down that road. Lord, help me to do the right thing. Help me to only worship you! You are never disappointing, really Father I know that. You are never going to disgrace me or shame me. You are my Redeemer and Salvation. Oh Father - forgive me for the times that i have done this very thing with my kids. Forgive me for the pressure I may have put on them and without even knowing it. Forgive me for not being thankful for exactly what I have. Forgive me for worshipping anything other than You!! Oh Lord, forgive me.

Thank you for this Word this morning. Off to a brand new day. Off to do your great work!! Off to glorify you my Lord. I love you!

446 - Selfish Idol

Lord Jesus - thank you for Your love. Thank you for your completely unselfishness towards me and abandoning all even if it had just been for me. Lord, I am thinking about all the times that my idol worship, whatever it may be, has caused so many to fall into sin. Other than leading us farther from You, worshipping an idol can and probably will hurt another causing them to fall into sin.

I once heard a singer say that it was no fun to sin alone, she always wanted to take others with her. I believe as a Christian we are responsible for all our actions - one that we purposely do and ones that we are not sure anyone is aware of. Because we can not see the final masterpiece tapestry He is weaving, we don't know the influence we have on people and the effects our actions and reactions have on them. This morning I am in I Cor. 8: 9 - 13. This whole chapter is about not eating food from an idol unless you have "knowledge". "But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat it, and no better if we do." (8). Then it goes on to say that if a weaker person sees you eating food of an idol and it causes them to stumble then you can't do it, ever. There have been times when I was on a diet with someone at work or where ever and was having a weak moment. In that weak moment I would go to my fellow dieter and beg them to be weak with me. Many times, or most, I could talk this person into being weak with me. I would talk them out of their "sacrifices" into a moment of indulgence! That is wrong!!!!!!!!!! I am causing them to stumble even if for a moment or one meal.

I think we could all agree this too has happen to us or we have done it to someone when you go shopping with a friend. Let me use me as the bad guy - I am shopping with a friend and I am doing nothing to slow down my idol worship of self-indulgence in clothes, etc. I know the person with me is on a tight budget or that it what it sounds like and yet when they hold up the outfit I encourage them to go for it. Yes, I want them to have a great new outfit, but deep, deep, deep down I am just wanting to have someone with me in on the sinning, in on the idol worship I am totally caving to at the moment! That too is wrong!!! How do I know it is wrong - when I get home I am quick to tell my husband how much so and so spent as if to make myself look better. Ever been there? Even though shopping is not bad - thank you Lord - I have drug someone into a mess. Yes, they are responsible for their actions and should know their limits, but according to this Word, I am more responsible for dragging them in and making myself feel better, especially those that are weaker!! Wow!!!

I looked up weaker conscience - the faculty of the mind that bears witness to one's own moral conduct. It distinguishes between right and wrong and prompts to choose the former and avoid the latter. (I really like that last part.) But here is the thing, this scripture is talking about one that has a weaker conscience - so that would be one that may be a believer, but new to the concept of dieing to self. May not have developed the ability to hear the Spirit say - you better hold off her, Lady! We, I, am responsible to what i do around her and how my life affects her. Wow, double wow! This reminds me of the scripture - "My life is not my own". Oh yes, we have freedom and I am so thankful for that, but the beginning scripture is the plumb line - "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." Seriously, my life is not my own!!!

Lord Jesus - thank you for this Word. Thank you for this breath of Life you have given me today. Thank you for revealing my sin to me and thank you for your constant forgiveness. Help me to bring all my sin to you, and specifically. Lord, I do not want to lead anyone into sin. I do not want to lead anyone into idol worship, or away from you!! I want to be that lift for others that bring them back to your throne. I want to be the one that causes others to shout out Your fame and glory. I want to be that one that makes others want to worship You more. I want to be that one that cries out Holy and others cry as well. Oh Lord, help me to not be that stumbling block. Help me to live this out and actually follow through with these words. Help me to know your will and die to mine! Thank you, Lord, thank you!

445 - What Cha Doing This Sunday?

Oh Lord, have you lead me to some good stuff today. I am so very tired once again. Last week we were only able to work out 2 real classes of aerobics. So after Monday and Tuesday of this week, my legs and bootahtah are so sore I don't want to move. It is amazing how quickly one, ME, can get out of shape, but how long it takes to get your body accustomed to that kind of vigorous workout! Oh I love it, I love the ladies, and I love to sweat!!

Wow, Lord, You just lead me right into what I just studying. I am still on the idle idol worship. This morning we went straight to one of my favorite and most convicting passages. I have never been much of a lake girl. I mean my in laws live on a lake kind of thing, but I really have no desire for boating, skiing, swimming in it -yuck!!! I mean I like those things, but don't long to do it. But a beach - that is whole 'nother story. I know that is one thing i miss more than many others things in Charlotte - the beach. At my old church in Charlotte we saw the same pattern over and over year after year. Once the weather got warm and inviting and especially once summer started people never showed up for church anymore. Now don't get me wrong, they could have been having church on the beach or at least been going to a church at the beach, but most likely not - you know the truth just as well as i did. But the sad thing was that it totally broke their church consistency. It took weeks for many to get into a habit, good habit, of church once fall and winter rolled around. Just getting replugged in and active and boom - spring and summer hit and they were history. It was so hard as teachers because we longed to have them there and be consistent, etc. It was only a good thing for the whole family. If kids were involved, what did that preach to them - warm weather, forget church.... This is when the Lord lead me to Isaiah 58:13-14 and to share it with the whole class - oh yeah, that was fun!! Not!!

13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

You want to line up with the favor of God - give Him reason other than His great love and compassion to shower you with blessings - be consistent in church attendance!!! I hear You Lord. I hear you!! It is just like working out, one can quickly get out of shape, but it takes much time and commitment to get back in shape!! Oh I remember the same thing after having a baby! It was so hard to get to church those first few weeks - that seemed eternal!!! I really believe Satan works his strongest on Saturday night and on Sunday morning. I distinctly remember my kids sleeping wonderfully on Friday night, but Saturday rolled around and they were up all night - and i always had really good sleepers! But Satan ain't no dummy - He will do anything, not exempt from using our own precious kids, to keep us out of God Holy Place on Sunday!!! I believe it with all my heart!!

Few things about the verse above - vs. 13 - "If you keep" - that keep means turn from, do not go with it - this is the same word seem in Ek. 14:7 when it talks about turning from idols. "from doing things as you please" - that please means the very things that you enjoy, or delight in, or just plain ol' like. "on my holy day" - means literally "on my consecrated now". "If you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord's holy day honorable" - that call means to call loudly to get one's attention and honorable means heavy or glorious. Vs 14 - "then you will find your joy" - that then means at that time or after that time, as a result of... So what Is He trying to say this morning. Being consistent in church and not just doing idle things on His Holy day only leads to blessings of joy, ability to ride on the heights where idols are worship, but we are worshipping Him as it is only He that has exalted us to that place, and an indescribable inheritance.

Lord, thank you!! Thank you for your Word. Thank you for the joy of studying it. Thank you for surprising me each day with such nuggets! Thank you for loving me enough to meet with me each day. Thank you for giving me a hear that wants to go to church. Help me to be consistent for my kids. Help me to be consistent for my family. Help me to be in line with your favor! Thank you Lord. Thank you for everything! I am excited for church tonight!! I love you!

444 - Idle Idol Worship

Lord Jesus - first of all forgive my laziness yesterday. I hit and kept hitting the snooze button as if i had nothing to do or nowhere to go yesterday morning. You gave me a wonderfully blessed day that I certainly did not deserve. Thank you, Lord. .............. Homecoming was good, but quick. It was not my reunion, my 20th will be in 2011. So my kids got to see my small town, go to the parade, ride around to my different homes, see my high school, and go to the homecoming game. I didn't get to see many people, but saw a few or at least recognized a few. I did get to see my old across the street neighbor. Dave worked for the paper and was just absolutely ate up with tennis like my family was. He made sure in some way that my picture found its way in almost every week. It was great to hear from him - he now travels nationally as a tennis umpire. This was a dream of his and I love hearing about it coming true! ............... Saturday the girls went to a deal that taught them to be a Princess because they are Daughters of the King. They wore gowns, had a tea, study the Bible, talked about taking care of themselves, - it was just wonderful. Faith Blair had invited us - I hope we can do it again next year!

Lord Jesus - I hope I can have the knowledge to get across in words what you have taught me this morning. Yes, it comes from conviction yesterday of not spending time with You. I felt you ask me some questions. 1) Are people overly busy today? 2) Are people doing much of they want to do? 3) If one is not doing what I have called them to do is it useless? 4) But at the same time are more people than ever sitting around doing nothing, being idle? 5) Could being Idle be an Idol????? Wooo, that was loaded! Yes, people are overly busy and doing much of what they want to do - me included. I don't think doing what you have not ultimately called me to is useless. You can make good of my mistakes and poor choices - You are God! I may have consequences, but You can still make good of my sin. And yes I would agree people are sitting around do more and more of what they are wanting or nothing - like I was yesterday. (Don't you hate when you are the example!! Ugh.) Yes, most certainly there is a worship of Idleness. Yikes!!!

I have 2 scriptures You have given me this morning and I find no irony in that they are both directed to women. I know you are speaking to me. Proverbs 31:27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." (I think it is funny that You, Lord, call it "eat bread of idleness". I am a bored eater. I eat when I have nothing else to do and don't even realize it! And I love bread! ha ha) Well, i could not resist - I looked up idleness just to make sure it was what i thought it was - "aslut" - sluggishness and laziness. Yep, that was me yesterday. Oh I just hate it. Forgive me Father! Part of my responsibility as a mom is to watch over the household. In that, my top priority is to meet with the LandLord - if you will. Yesterday I sat and ate the bread of idleness in my bed and neglected my meeting with Him. Jesus, what did I miss?? What jewel did you have for me yesterday? What love note did I not get to read??? Oh Lord, I am so sorry - i neglected You. You would never do that to me - thank you!

1 Timothy 5:13 "They get in the habit of being idle and going about house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to." This passage is where Timothy is talking about young and old widows. He was saying it is better for the young ones to marry because if and when they do become idle and idleness leads to all kind of trouble - gossip, busybody, etc. It goes on to instruct them to do some other things because it will not give the enemy an opportunity to slander. Says that some in fact have already turned away to follow Satan. My focus here is what I feel like You are saying to me is that leading my own life the way i want to (even for a morning of not spending time with You) can lead to some serious sin. Satan can nothing, but slander me, but thank you for being my protector and shield.

Worshipping the god of idleness is no different than worshipping the god of food or spending or any kind of overindulgence. We are conducting ourselves totally in the fleshly realm and that leads to trouble, PERIOD. I am saying I will only follow the ways of my desires and not consider the Lord. I looked up this particular "idle" and it was the same, but more specific. "argos" - not at work, unemployed, inactive, indolent, unprofitable. It's derived from another word meaning - to deactivate, render inoperative, abolish. Oh now that speaks a word. When I give over to the god of idleness I deactivate myself from the Spirit. No, no, no - He never loses His grip on me or anything like that, but I just unplug from the power source if you will, again! And it is the Lord that renders me inoperative. He will not hang out with one that is serving 2 masters and therefore renders me inoperative. Who know, only You oh Lord, what the plans for my life were yesterday. But when I deactivated and unplugged from the power source to sleep some extra minutes You rendered me inactive! Ouch, Lord, I am sorry - I hear you loud and clear.

Lord Jesus, I have known for years what Your expectations are of me and my quiet time. You expect me to meet with you early and first thing. Noon time and evening are not options for me - you have said it over and over. Ps. 5:3 and Is. 50:4-5 are my scripture confirmations! Forgive me for giving into the bread of idleness, and to me what you have revealed this morning, the idol worship of idleness. Forgive me of not respecting Your plans or agenda enough for me yesterday that I passed You by for strength, courage, power, and Spirit refueling that you free give! Lord, I thank you for your convicting words this morning. I thank you for your awesomeness. I thank you for your forgiveness and love. Oh Lord, your mercy and grace are almost too much to bear. You are so great and complete - You complete me! I love you!

443 - We ain't NO good!

Lord Jesus - I want to thank you and praise you for yesterday. I had this small thing hurt my feelings and called one of a few friends to "help" me through. Wow - "the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avail much" according to James - and did I see that yesterday. How awesome. Thank you my friends for going to the Father for me and encouraging me with your prayers, words, encouragements, etc. May I get the opportunity to do that same for you some day soon! The spiritual warfare was in high force yesterday and for a brief moment I had forgotten why.... duh, I was speaking that evening. Last night at the end of my message the Lord Jesus knocked on a young lady's heart and she said to Him, "Come on in, please! Do some housework and make me beautiful." It was wonderful! That is worth it all. How wonderful that group was. They had worked so hard at making their group meeting a success and did not have as many as they wanted, but even so it was a powerful evening!! Bless them and welcome to the family, my new sister!! To Your glory alone Father!

Yesterday my friend Hollly asked a question. It was a very interesting question and so I investigated. In John 2:24, "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men." We were wondering if "not entrusting himself" to them meant he would not make idols of them. So I looked up entrust and it means - "pisteuo" - to believe in, have faith in, trust, have confidence in. My first thought was well, why would He not entrust himself to us - or believe in us or have confidence in us - Verse 25 explains that - "He did not need man's testimony about man, for He knew what was in man." Wow - now that is some good stuff.

Let's not kid ourselves, no matter how good we think we are or how good we think we have become it is only by His grace that we have not done the worst of sins, if you will. That verse above says that God knows what is really "in" a man - and also, He doesn't need to hear our testimony about how good we have become because He really knows. Ouch, kind of steps on my toes. Just when you think you are getting it all together and still could be making some head way in the right direction, the Lord "knows". That particular word means - "ginosko" - to know, come to know, experience.

Jesus, you have known me for longer than the moment i was conceived. You have come to know me as my days have passed and have truly experienced me. You know the real me. So you know not to ever make an idol of me or any man as this passage above explains. Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" As sweet as I try to be from time to time, You still know the real me and know that my heart has much evil and deceit according to your Word - Your Word that is absolute truth. Lord Jesus as we talked about yesterday, You would never take the time or energy to attach yourself to the ungodly. Only you are perfect and Godly. That is the whole reason for the Cross. I could have never and will never do enough good for you to want to attach yourself to me or entrust yourself to me because you KNOW me. I am not feeling some kind of self-loathing as I say that - I am feeling great praise, mercy, grace. It is only because of what you did on the Cross and the blood shed that enables you to see me clearly and with great love. Only by your grace and mercy can I enter into a relationship with you that rocks!! Father, frankly, you rock!!! I love you so!! I am in love with you!!! I am just tickled pink that You love me!! You don't have to because there is nothing about me that deserves it or could win your love - you just do!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Lord Jesus, may my actions and reactions cause you great joy today. May my life be as worship to you!! I love you, Lord.

I am going to my high school Homecoming today. I hope I will get to see some teachers and stuff. I am so excited to go back with all my kids and handsome hubby. Have a wonderful weekend!!

442 - Attaching oneself

Dear Lord, Thank you for a wonderful night at church last night. I did my job - organizing and supplying the teachers with all they need to teach - and the teachers did their job! It worked wonderfully and was awesome! A worker bee - that is my place in Children's Ministry! I am going to speak in Salem, Il. tonight for a MOPS group or MOPS-like group. Patricia is going to go with me which will be a ton of fun! Lord, I pray you be all over the women tonight. Speaking through me in a powerful way with great love. May my opinion, agenda, thoughts be put aside and only what You want communicated be brought forth! Lord, the topic tonight is called Authentic Parenting - it is about our kids seeing a faith in us a parents that causes them to say - I got to have that! It can only be real and authentic because kids can smell a fake from miles away! Nothing makes them go in the opposite direction more than a fake!

This morning we are in Habakkuk 2:18. It is a very loaded verse. There is one thing that sticks out or I should say one thing that He caused to jump out at me..............."For he who makes it trusts in his own creation; he makes idols that cannot speak." The Lord in the verses above is explaining that things made by man's hands do not have life nor does it give life. It is just something created and can not speak. Specifically an idol. But how often that which we fashion with our own hands, mind, creativity, etc. becomes life to us. We take such pride in something we begin to worship it or at least develop this huge amount of pride in it and worship ourselves. We trust in that creation. From the verse above that trust is translated "to attach oneself, trust, confide in, feel safe, secure, Denotes confident expectation."

Oh how true is that - things that we are responsible for, develop, create, etc. we trust in. We do things our way without consulting the Lord and therefor are trusting and attaching ourselves to something that can do nothing! When you write it out and think about it - it makes no sense at all why someone would do this, but it happens every day!! How about our nest egg or what about our home. We make it just like we want it, cozy, comfy, pretty, even impressive. It becomes our rock. It is something we stand on and find much validation, worth, pride, - it becomes something that we attach ourselves to - regardless of the fact that it puts us mounds of debt to get there. The house, the nest egg, the children, the job - it becomes something that defines us and we like it that way. And God says in the verse above this one - "what value is it?"

Lord Jesus I know there have been things in my own life that I have been attached to. Or i should say things that I have attached myself to. Lord, nothing is worthy of my trust than YOU!! Lord, I want to become deeply attached to you! I want to trust in you and remove those idols! I want to see you exalted in my life and nothing else. You are so faithful and trustworthy! Actually you need not do another in all my life - the cross was more than enough!! Thank you Father for attaching yourself to the cross and hanging and dieing there for me! Thank you for the sacrifice and devotion. Lord, I stand in awe. I love you Lord!!

Lord, thank you for working things out with the church that was worried about fee and all. If anyone knew how much i can not stand talking money and all that is a must in this line of work........................ i mean i would rather talk about sewing or cooking 10 times more than money... But............. Oh Lord, You are amazing. I know You can do anything and I do believe in how hugely You provide - I believe. It worked out just as it was suppose to. After much prayer and preparation many weeks ago I knew this was the fee I was to charge. A peace - not to drop the God-card, but yes, a peace. So after my discussion with the church, they went back to their knees and drawing table. They got creative and found a way to split the fee with another ministry with in the church. Not only is my faith stretched in this whole process because I knew that the Lord wanted me there it just looked suspect for a brief moment, but the faith of the church and it's planners was stretched and strengthened. Isn't that awesome!!! I was believing in what I knew He had called me to do and they were believing in what they knew God wanted to happen - we were both just waiting to see His next act!! He came through and we all believe!!! Oh God you are so good!! Thank you!!

441 - I bow, but do I worship?

After the investigation into the words of bowing and worshipping as seen in Ex. 20:4, i can not get it off my mind. Lord, I feel like you have shown me another avenue. I think we have thoroughly exposed the scripture as it pertains to not bowing or worshipping an idol. Here is yesterdays prayer...

Now once we put it all out there you can see how they are so different and why the Lord felt the need to say don't just do one, but don't do the other. Oh how i love the Word. Bow is the act of doing it to the idol - worshipping the idol and moving the body in such a way that it is obvious what one is doing. And then worship is like getting up from that bow and asking the idol what can I do for you or how can i serve you or how can i minister to you? See?

So as i got up from the time with You yesterday I actually wrote on my napkin I usually have with me. I wrote - How often do we bow, but don't worship? - I felt Him say that to my heart! If bowing is actually putting our body in a position to others that says we are worshipping then I guess there is the possibility to fake it. Oh, now we are getting somewhere! Because worshipping according to our exposition yesterday is getting up from that bowing position, whatever it may look like, and then doing something of service for the god or for God. So once again that is the reason He is asking me - How often do you bow, but don't worship? I can get down in a "bow", but I can get up from that and never live out my expressed worship in that bow. Oh this is really good, Lord - thank you!!

Too often I hear from ladies that just don't "feel it" anymore with the Lord. #1 Be so careful when looking for a feeling. He certainly gives us those warm fuzzies and peaceful times even in worship, but that is not what He is all about. The Lord wants us to bow and worship even when we don't feel like it, but more importantly when we don't feel Him!!! Lord Jesus, you have taught me that over and over for years. That is part of discipline, part of our responsibility of being a follower of Christ. We love because He first loved, but we also do because He first did - whether we FEEL it or not.

Lord Jesus, you keep me in check often! Coming on this blog and writing out my prayers is a form of bowing for me, but do I get up and do something about it - in service to You, worship to You? I think what You are impressing me to write right now kind of scares me. I mean I don't want to hurt feelings, etc.............. Has blogging become a form of idol worship? We go there and write something out even though we are not living the thing out, as Beth Moore says. We are waiting to get all the comments in and feel some sort of validation from that? What originally was started as a note to the Lord has become a place you feel pressure to post often, a place that you feel loved more than by Him, a place that you bow down, but never get up to worship? OH Lord, I know that has been the case for me at times. You are so faithful to keep me in check and turn me back around!! Praise You Lord for loving me enough to do that!

Last night I got to meet with a church that is planning their first ever women's conference and I will be speaking. It was beautiful. They were excited, but didn't really know how to go about the whole deal. I was able to give them some pointers on things I had experienced all over the US. Their budget was small - at least right now - and yet were very willing to make it happen. I am very excited to see what God is going to do through their faith and all that. It was a confirmation of what Speaking Thru Me is all about. -------------------------- Then I got another note from a different church... Small church, small budget, etc. We had agreed on everything, now the back pedalling has started about speaker fee and all. I know it is so hard from some to understand, but my family budget can not allow me to do this for free. Oh how I wish, but at this point in my life I can not. Gas is so expensive, babysitting if Clay is not in town, time to drive there and back, time away from my family, time preparing is huge, if there are any meals there and back... and then of course there is the expenses that are incurred a long time before the event was ever booked - ministry expense, advertising, postage, making bios, making samples.... MOPS groups are the only ones I can afford to not charge a speaking fee, but anything else I just have to - and yet they always cover my traveling expenses! Lord, give me the words to express this in a graceful and yet strong way that one can understand. This is the whole reason HE is establishing Speaking Thru Me. I don't like one bit talking about money, but at the same time I hate having to tell a church no because of a money situation!!! I have made the decision too often to "do it anyway" and have really been in trouble for it! I give this to you!! Thank you, Lord. I love you!!

440 - Bow Down and Worship

Dear Lord, thank you for such a wonderful day. I know I will regret saying this, but I am so ready for some cooler weather. This hot and humid stuff is killing..................my hair! ugh!!

I am back at the 2nd commandment today again. I have found another phrase that I think is so important that I have dissected it. Exodus 20:5 "You shall not bow down to them or worship them." Now if i just say that lightly i would think that the Lord was being kind of redundant right there. Isn't bow and worshipping the same thing? Yeah, that is what i thought too, but after researching just a tad at this wee hour of the morning, i see that it is related, but not really the same.

Bow - hawah, pronouced "hayway"(i think), to prostrate oneself, to bow down, to worship. Denotes an act of respect to one in superior position, and essentially signifies submission!

Worship - abad, pronouced "aybad", to serve, minister, worship, to work, do. Denotes service or work that may be directed towards things. Signifies serving as a slave, or king or ruler.

Now once we put it all out there you can see how they are so different and why the Lord felt the need to say don't just do one, but don't do the other. Oh how i love the Word. Bow is the act of doing it to the idol - worshipping the idol and moving the body in such a way that it is obvious what one is doing. And then worship is like getting up from that bow and asking the idol what can I do for you or how can i serve you or how can i minister to you? See?

Wow, what a clear perspective now. I hate to know that I am caught in that position much more than I care to admit. Lord Jesus forgive me. I know every day throughout the day I bow to too many things and some I have no idea. I am putting my body in a way that signifies to all those around that I love this or that idol and am worshipping it. It reminds me of my old dog, Rebel. When it got down to eating time, he was bowing. You got near his food bowl and he would start growling and showing his teeth. It was obvious to the whole world this was not a time to mess with him, he was bowing and we all knew it! Even in eating how often do i see that in my own life. Oh Lord, break me, break this worship! I want to bow to you only! help!!!

Worship happens in my life as well only seen a bit different. How often do we see moms bowing to their kids and then getting up from that to worship them, serve them in any and every way! I am so so so so so proud of my aerobics ladies. There are many in there with very small kids - even some first children. There is one lady in there with a 7 week old when we started. For her to be able to drop her child off in childcare and then take some time to workout her body - that is to be commended. Many times, especially the first time mom, will refuse to do anything for herself even though it makes her a much better mom. It is a form of worship. I was always guilty of going in the total opposite direction, but this is one thing i saw all too often in Charlotte - the world of stay at home moms and I was one of those only my worship was being on the go!

Oh Lord, teach me!! Help me to listen. I got my scripture cards in yesterday and will be carrying around a few for spiritual reinforcement to break my idols! With all this worship and bowing talk I want to leave with this scripture - it was my mentors memory verse many years ago. Ps. 95:6 "Come let's us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker." (That is the same worship that we are talking about, but a different bow down.) My mentor, Rae Deal, could have easily been an idol in my life, but God moved her away from me across the country before that could happen. Both she and I are terrible phone talkers and so it has been a tough split. She is a great letter writer though! I like email!

Lord, may today, not worrying about tomorrow, but today come before you and bow down in worship - I want to kneel before my Maker!! You are worthy! I love you!!

438 - "Idol Eyes"

Lord Jesus, thank you for the way the house is coming. We have every last bit of wallpaper off the walls - it is down to the bones due to a guy named Nick. Nick fell on some hard times and now is trying to get his life back together. He is the hardest worker you will ever meet and just a fire about him. He is trying hard to get his life back together so that he can get custody of his son again. I love more than anything being able to reach out and do something to help someone help themselves. I really believe Nick will be a success story. I don't know if he knows the Lord, but hopefully I can get to you on that one. Clay came in contact with him through a guy at our old church that does prison, jail, and halfway house kind of ministry. I am cheering Nick on for his life, and so appreciative for all the hard work he has given us this week! Wow!

Aerobics went well again last night. We had 3 more ladies join. I would say on any given day we are close to 20 ladies per night! It is fantastic!! Thank you Jesus! ----------Dairy day is tonight and tomorrow. Kids will ride a ton of rides tonight and then have games tomorrow. We have the washer pitching contest, the frog jumping contest, the bubble blowing contest, pet parade, the kids' parade, and just a whole slew of other stuff as well. We are very excited!! ---- I have one situation in my life right now that is very sad and disappointing. Lord, you know the details and I pray you get to the bottom of everything. Jesus, please come through for us and show us your plan. Thank you for this opportunity to see You be huge! ------ Did you get to see Leslie last night on Survivor. I didn't either, but then watched every youtube scene I could possibly find. I was so proud of her for walking out of the Budda Temple and service. Way to go sister!!

Lord, I am still on the idols thing and boy have you given me a Word this morning. Many times the reason something becomes an idol is because we don't trust YOU that You will give us "it" and therefore the worship begins! It is kind of like the grass is greener on the other side kind of deal. We see "it" and think if we only had that life would be so much better. But the whole time God is saying, no I have better things for you. If you would wait you will see something good that I want to give you that is far better. I will satisfy your ultimate need (sometimes we don't even understand our greatest need like our Maker would) with good things, perfect things, the best things - Just wait!!!!!! Ps. 103 is a beautiful Psalm by David - it is praise to Him explaining all God's benefits, wonderful qualities, attributes, actions, "faithfulnesses", etc. Verse 5 is the one I can not get away from. "who satifies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Oh Lord thank you!!!

Jesus - you not only know my desires, but in Your sovereignty You find a way to satisfy them with GOOD things. Now that speaks to my heart! God, good is only expressed through you. Only you can totally satisfy my heart and make me saieted! Praise you, Lord. I think the thing that is so important for me to remember is that the filling you do for me and that satisfaction might look different than what I am expecting. That is where the trust comes in. Oh Lord, I do trust you, don't I? Everything that is good and of God will have the nature of God in it. Now that is exciting too IF i see it!! Lord, give me those eyes for you and not "Idol Eyes".

Thank you for your provisions. Thank you for your kindness towards me. Thank you for your realness and preciousness. May I more and more fall in love with you. May my heart want nothing but to be satisfied by you and for you! Thank you for the grace and mercy that bestows renewal to my body and mind when I wait for your satisfaction! Oh Lord, I want to fly with the eagles. I want to sore on the mountain tops, I want to see things from a distance with wisdom and clarity! I want to be like You! Change me, and mold me!! My I be of some satisfaction to you today! I love you!

436 - People worship

Lord Jesus - I am up and really awake today. I went to bed at 8:45pm last night. It felt so good to actually hear the alarm go off. I needed that huge stint on sleep. Today I feel great. Aerobics was another great class. I am having to make some calls at work that scare me to death. I am not selling anything, thank goodness, but it still scares me to do all the calling. I hate to bug people, but it is just part of it. I am sure I will get over it. Stephanie was very encouraging! We have church tonight and our Children's program is starting. Oh Lord, I pray with all my heart that you bring some kids Tucker's age. He wants more friends at church and I want that for him. We had a lady call us up and wanted to see the house and then made us an offer. It was not an offer we could entertain, but it was nice to get an offer - without a realtor. It will happen!

This morning I am going back to my devotion/study about idols. Oh Lord, thank you for the ways you brought to my mind things that could be an idol here on earth. The issue I feel is most common with the things here on earth are money and people. We put too much trust in both and we expect too much out of both. Thoughts or actual statements we have all heard: "If we only had more money or made a certain amount then things would be fine. If i can get this much in my account then I can rest. I am going to buy no matter what because I can just pay for it later. I am not going to tithe because I can just give to whomever and know that my money is put to better use. I have to have this!" There is definitely a world on bondage when you are hording and working so hard for that nest egg, but the greater noose is when you owe to everyone and can not seem to get it under control for one reason or another. I have heard too many testimonies about this. One of my close friends was a recovering shop-aholic when i met her. Her stories were incredibly intense and made me almost not be able to breath just hearing her describe the hole she had dug. It is not just bondage, it is sin, and an idol.

We idolize people. It can start with just an admiration or inspiration, but can quickly move into an all out idolization. I got to hear Mandissa at Deeper Still and it was incredible. She talked about being on American Idol and how desperate people were to not just be recognized, but loved. She talked about her obvious addiction to food - what bravery she had! But we think we know all these people that we really don't know, but think we do, and want to be just like them. This can be a preacher, teacher, neighbor, celebrity, singer..................... The really tough thing is we put so much pressure on them. We have these ideas of things they should do and when they don't we feel crushed as if they let us down! They are just living their lives having no idea we thought one way or another............ It is not fair to them, but it most certainly not fair to our Lord. He is the only one we will not get disappointed in. He is perfect and never changing. He is merciful and also constant. You can not predict what He is going to do in each situation, but You can claim how He has done things in the past (review His faithfulness) and believe in asking that He might see fit to move that way again! He deserves to be the one we run to, He deserves to be the one we look up to for everything, He deserves to be the one we worship, He deserves to be the one we get goo-gooed about. He deserves the one that get our whole heart. Oh Lord, my heart gets torn so often over people that I turn into an idol. Forgive me for putting so much pressure on them and forgive me for neglecting my love for you!! Replacing my love for you with something else - usually a person! Oh Lord, forgive me!!

The last of Exodus 20:4 says the we also should not worship anything "in the waters below". I am not too much of a water person. We don't boat, but we do fish a lot! Well, I should say my hubby and son - the girls like it too, but don't get invited very often. The thing that comes to mind in this section is passion. I know there are people that are passionate about saving the earth and water included....................... I reckon that too can become a form of worship. Or missing church and worship to go "commune with God in a boat, at the beach, at the lake, wherever water is". Anything and everything can be an idol. It just all depends on how quickly we could give it up or what it does to us when missing in our lives. An Idol - it is so much more than just a tangible ting - it is all about the heart and motivation.

Lord, thank you for helping me to know what you are asking of me and what you require of me. All this idol stuff is not new, but it is great to write it out and really think about it as I get it on "paper". Lord, I want to be sold unto you and you only. I want to worship you with all I have no matter what I have or little I have. I want to use what you give me to worship you, not worship what you give me! Oh Jesus - let my heart be pure like a child. I want to see you today! I love you!!!

435 - 2nd Commandment

Good morning Lord - thank you for a victorious day, yesterday! We had some work difficulties - power outage, ceiling leaks, but we got it all back together and working. I got all my stuff together for TEAMKID on Wednesday, just a few more things to buy. Aerobics was the biggest night ever. I think we had close to 20 women and there were some regulars that were not there! It was great and my legs don't even hurt that bad today. After that we met at the old/new house to go over everything with the electrician. He can not start for 2 or 3 more weeks, but then says we have a lot of stuff to do... In the mean time we have hired 3 guys to be taking the wallpaper off the walls. They are doing a fantastic job and fast!!! wow!!!

My friend reminded me that I had said I was going to do a "study" on idols and I totally forgot. I guess i would think about it from time to time, but her call on it made me think what better timing. So that is briefly what I am going to do today and for a while.

The 2nd Commandment is "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." Ex. 20:4 In that verse, without dissecting it much, God is pretty clear that there should not be any idol from anywhere! Certainly not from heaven, but on earth, or even from the waters. Isn't that interesting that He had to mention from Heaven. How can anything from heaven be an idol. Oh I think it is so very easy. First of all, an idol is that which we worship, give time to, give thought to, steals our time from Him in any form or fashion - just something that takes our focus away from the Lord. SO how could we have an idol from Heaven. In churches we get so caught up in how we are going to worship and when and with what instruments, etc. We know in heaven we are going to spend a huge amount of our time in worship if not all. So we begin to prepare ourselves for that very time. Before we know it we are worshipping the act of worship instead of the Lord. WE are so head over heel with the new ways, songs, times................we lose sight of the ONE to worship!

Now worship on the earth can go on for days. Of course I talked about yesterday the worship of food and such. That is huge for so many people. I heard from so many of you through comments, but mainly offline about that too being a struggle for you. Thank you for your encouragement and honesty. Man that is one huge slap in the face to Satan. He wants us to think one of 2 things in almost every situation. 1) you are the only one that struggles with this so you better be quiet or be thought of as a fool and worse. OR 2) everyone feels this way or everyone does this so it won't be so bad when you jump in. Go ahead do it... So many women, even those like me that don't have a lot to lose, but want to get this under control............thank you for emailing your thoughts to me. I think the hardest part about this idol is that good people, well meaning people, kind, loving, sweet ones want to encourage me that I look fine. I know I don't have much change on the outside that needs to take place, but this is a heart issue. We think that because there is not 50 to lose that it can't be that serious or can't really be anything to be concerned about. That is is exactly a lie from the pit of Hell. He wants us to dismiss everything!! He wants us to belittle the situation or thoughts. Then by gollly when it is out of control satan is going to come back with a vengeance blaming, accusing, shaming, laughing, assigning guilt, etc.... he loves it when we dismiss sin and only come back to it when it gets bad. satan loves when we do the same thing with our relationship with the Lord. We ignore Him or do little with Him until it gets real bad. Then all of a sudden we rush to Him expecting a miracle when there really is no reason He should ever come through. He does sometimes and that is where I just get flattened by His grace. WOW!!!

Well, Lord, I need to get ready for the day. I am still not used to this job thing. It is very hard on me, but i am sure good for me. How do full-time working moms do it??????? I am already looking at retirement!! ha! Father, please make me aware of my idols. Help me to see those good things that can be confused as only good and not an idol. May we fight the obvious things with all our might and through your strength and power! Lord, I want nothing to stand in front of You!! I want to bow to only You and mean it!!! Lord, forgive me!! I love you!

330 - In Shock & Stuff

I am random this morning - beware!

Can you believe it - Melinda Doolittle is gone.......... Oh I am sad. I hope Jordan rides all the way home with the prize now that Melinda is gone. I think she is from a good family that has brought up a very thankful young girl. Now i will admit some of her tears do look a little forced when she is up their saying good-bye to her "friends", but I still do love her voice and LOVE, LOVE seeing her live out a dream. Besides Melinda, I cry every time Jordan sings because I know her momma and daddy must be so proud.

I hardly could get out of bed this morning. We worked out our legs so hard yesterday at the Dale's - great workout, but ouch!!!! Then I went running with my friend after school and could hardly be any good. Had to walk 2 times... Then Andrea called and we went running too. Wooooooooooohhhhhhhoooooooooooooooo - my legs hurt, but a good hurt. But I weighed in yesterday and have lost 10 pounds. Yippee skippee!! I hope I have not jinks myself! ha ha

My son came home telling me a teacher told him she wanted me to bring my purses up there at the end of school. How cool would that be. I have the book publishing and non-profit status to pay for real soon - so this could only help tremendously. That is kind of her to think of that for me. I have the money saved up for those 2 things, but it will pretty much deplete everything so that would help put a tad back in. PS- I got the cutest 2 new purses yesterday... I will post them later.

This morning I was in 1 Kings 1:1-31 - this is great, these are some different rules than we have today... The king, David, was feverish i guess and they couldn't get him warmed up. So the scripture says that they went all across the land of Israel to find him a beautiful young woman that could keep the king warm. He is old and a young thang is suppose to keep him warm. I think i have heard it all now. Sounds a bit like the Anna Nicole thing... Anyway, it does say that he did not have "relations" with her, but neither did Clinton. My how history truly does repeat itself. Another dude has come to claim kingship since David is old, tied up in bed, and has not named another king successor. So Nathan tells Bathsheba she needs to go talk with David and let him know what is going down and remind David of the oath her spoke to her of Solomon becoming the next man in charge. Bathsheba walks in and the scripture even make mention of the lady "attending" the king and Bathsheba still bows. All i have to say is that it is a good thing I was not born in those days. There would be some cat fighting...

OK - back to being spiritual. My devotion asked me how I felt about growing old and all. That is a funny question. I don't think about it that much unless I am thinking about time running out to minister and what else I could be doing. I did receive a Woman of Faith advertisement the other day and think - now do I really want to go to that? Anita Renfro looked like the youngest one and I pretty sure she is well into her forties. Is that old, no!!!!!!! In fact it is younger everyday, but their audience is quite young. So I thought the whole thing was very interesting. Their speakers are getting on up in age and wondered when they might want some new blood, but not necessarily youngest blood. I happened to raise my hand in my living room in case someone was listening in on my thoughts. Just being silly, but that would be a dream of mine. How fun and exciting! Those speakers have a bazillion times more knowledge and experience than i could ever give. God has His hand on them and has used them mightily for a good long time. He must be pleased! --- I also read an article about Passion going to other countries. That kind of made me sad because it is such a phenomenon here in the states - a much needed thing. I totally trust the leadership of that organization and i am sure they are following the Lord, but why close up shop here. I am hearing from more and more college students on my blog. It is really cool - they love Jesus with much passion!!! Anyone want to start a different Passion while they are overseas?? Just another dream.

But the scripture message I received today was again about not quitting. David was old, "tied up in bed", but still king. When he was presented a problem he quickly did all he could to make it right even from the bed. We know from the Bible and history that Solomon was the next king. David made sure of it. So even from my bed I hope that I am still able to do things for the kingdom to the very end. Lord, I hope you still find me useful to the end. I have been very random today... I guess that what happens when there is not a solid uninterrupted time with Him. Lord, help me to get out of bed and back to my 5:30am routine. I miss it... Discipline!! I don't have a lot planned for today. We are going to have a ham and bean dinner which i am so excited about. We didn't do that in Charlotte and I don't really remember eating it growing up. We also have cooked cabbage - yep, Mom, even i am growing up and eating my vegetables. Keep speaking Lord and help me to open my ears!! I love Lord Jesus!

217 - A La Peanut Butter Sandwiches

This morning, Lord, I am getting a bit of a late start. When Clay is traveling I like to stay up late doing things - well, just doing things. So that does not make it easy to get up the next monring and this morning i let it get the best of me. The kids are off to school and Elleigh is watching Thumbalina. So thank you for this small amount of time to get in a good WORD.

I found myself at I Sam. 4:1-11. This was great. I have made the comment before - If i could just spend 30 minutes with Beth Moore or Ruth Graham or Kay Arthur then how wonderfully blessed I would be. Or i have heard comments and probabaly said them myself - Oh, I just want to brush up against her or be near her - the sillyness can go on and on. But the bottom line is that we, me, are putting some kind of "superness" to these regualr, but wonderfully spiritual people. We think and it may not even be a conscious thought that we would be better off if we had lunch with so and so. Or if we brushed up against so and so our prayers would be answered, we would be enlightened, we would be more holy. I know as crazy as it sounds, i have done it myself and it is silly. This just does not border on idol worship, It Is!! I confess i think so much of Beth Moore and the awesome teacher that she is that i have to be careful. I can get so caught up in being excited about what hse is doing and where she is going that i can lose my perspective of why she is doing it - Jesus Christ. Oh Lord, forgive me of that. Allow me to be enthralled in You because of what You have done through her, not her and what great clothes she wears. ha ha!!!

In this passage of scripture the Israelistes had been defeated by the gorrillas - Phillistines... 4000 in fact was what the Word said. SO the leaders were real upset they had been defeated and began to think back on how victories were won in the past. They immediately thought about how the ancestors carried the Ark with them into battle. Oh that must be it. We need a "good luck charm, a brush up against something, a lunch with, a prayer spoken over us" of course in a retorrecical way...

SO that is just what they did. Eli's sons, the ones that are so terrible and disrespectful towards the Lord in His temple, went to go get the Ark. Wrong choice. Even if you had good intentions of using the Ark in the right way, that was the wrong men to go get it and be responsible for it. Leadership can make a whole ship go down and that is exactly what happened. With their "good luck charm" and that is exactly how it was being used - 40,000 were killed in the next battle. That may not be the exact number - memeory is failing me now that i am dressing a babydoll and trying to write. haha! But it was a bunch.

Lord Jesus, we can not worship a spiritually strong person other than Jesus, we can not worship a church building, we can not worship a conference, a book other than the Bible, or even a statue or cross. We must worship the ONE that made all those things have significance. We must worship the one that shed His blood on those things and for those things and because of those things. We must worship Him and with respect. We, I, can not come to You disrespectfully and expect my prayers to be answered or even heard! Lord, help me. Help me to change my heart and be a purly devoted Christian. I see so many things that need to be worked on. DO your work because i want to do for You. I love ministry and want to be used. I want to worship You and You alone. Forgive me Father for hurting Your feelings! Lord, I love you!!