Thursday, April 19, 2007

301 - Oh my aching tummy........

**************www.leighgray.com should be back online in a few days, oh i pray so. They did not automatically renew my domain name, etc. and so that is the reason for the situation. I have renewed everything now and am praying all will be well soon.*****************************

Ps. 32:3-5 3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "— and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Oh have you ever been there? Have you ever been in a time of your life when you refused to confess your sin, turn from it, and get things right with the Lord? David's deal with Bathsheba (I am ready to leave him alone about this and move on, maybe tomorrow....) has now taken place roughly a year ago from this passage and he is ate up in sin. He has gone for a year in just living in the mess he caused, i would think trying to make the best of it. I wish that i could count the times that i have done this, truly messed up and then quickly gotten ti right. But no, too often I mess up royally, try to justify my actions and live in my sin, deny i feel any convictions, and absolutely isolate myself from the Lord. So then in the mean time, I am falling further and further away from Him getting myself into more and more trouble. I eventually get sick in some way. Oh Lord, help!!

That is what David has done here and he is now to the point he has made himself sick. Don't you so know that feeling. Something weighs on your heart, your stomach is aching, some words or people's name make you get nervous...................... oh i hate living like that. My commentary make a special point to make sure we knew that all physical sickness was not due to unconfessed sin, but to make sure we did know there is a strong connection. I have always believed this and still do to this day.

I usually have no idea I am stressed until something physically shows up. Good or bad, I manifest things physically. When I am under great stress and especially in times that i have done something wrong, my body manifests this sin/guilt/conviction in some physical form. I get tummy aches, fever blisters, head aches, or quit eating - that ones is not so bad. I do not know what would happen to me if i went for long, long periods of time, never confessed, and got things right what my body would do. I could see stomach ulcers, migraines, skinniness(again, not so bad)............................................... and then much worse if i were to stay unchecked. Please do not be thinking for one second that i think my blogging friend, Heather, has unconfessed sin and therefore she is sick. No way - I don't think that nor would i ever judge someones life like that. There are times we just get sick and there is a greater glory, but i do believe there are times I cause my own body to deteriorate due to a lack of righteous living, etc. I don't think you are going to pop up with a heart condition and then begin to wonder if you have any unconfessed sin. You will know - that sin and mess you are in - will not have left your thoughts and the guilt of the situation will be lingering on.

Lord Jesus - what is my sin that i have yet to get it right with you - oh speak slowly to me, i know my sin is so great. Lord, forgive for the sin i have swept under the rug. Forgive me for the sin that i think is justified. Forgive me for the sin that i will not let go of. Forgive me for the sin that i like. Forgive me for the sin that i am too embarrassed to confess. Forgive me for the sin that i have already asked forgiveness for over and over and over.

Forgive me Father. I long to be in right relationship with you. I know I can not be used by You if I am not right. More than any time, I pray to get it right!! I leave for Missouri tomorrow. I am really excited. It is a small church only expecting 25 or so ladies to come and they have done so much praying and advertising that there is almost 75 women coming. They are so excited and I am so excited as well. I love you Jesus - thank you for your forgiveness.

2 funny things the kids did or said.........

1)Sarahjane asked if Daddy and I had quitting dating, like we had broken up....... I asked why, and she replied with "well, we don't ever get a sitter anymore." I love that she noticed we do date and that we had not been in a while. Just been so busy...... no excuse!

2) Tucker - DO NOT REPEAT THIS ILLINOIS FRIENDS - asked if he smelled this morning - like in a bad way............... I told him nope not this morning, but it might help if he brushed his teeth. He went brushed his teeth and THEN used mouth wash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he actually talked to people at school i might think he had planned on planting "one" on a girl today. Sometimes we do need to watch out for those quiet ones. ha ha He is growing up and this is one area i am really excited about. We are on our way to no more stinky boys!!!

Have a great day and have so much fun with the Savior this day. I am going to change my hair color....................................... oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Dori said...

Leigh,

First of all, what color are you changing to? :)

Second of all, what commentaries do you like to use?

Third of all, Lindsey (5 years old) asked me today, "Mommy, when you 'pass on' can I have your cell phone?" Oh, they do say funny things!

Blessings,
Dori

P.S. Do you have "publicity" stuff that I can pass on to the Women's Ministry coordinator for consideration of future events? :)

Leigh Gray said...

Hey Dori - I love the ocmment from your daughter. Kids can really make you laugh, cry and remain humble all at the same time! Love them soooo!!

1) i went a bit blonder...

2) I like any commentary or study from John MacArthur, Beth Moore, Broadman and Holman, Kay Arthur...

Hope you have a wonderful day and weekend. I am going to be a busy bee getting ready for this weekend... please pray for all of us.

thank you!