Thursday, November 09, 2006

Moving on - it is all in the timing

Jesus - the stars were out so beautifully this morning. I was ready to get up this morning. It was like i slept with one eye open, maybe i had too much tea last night! But it was good! Love me some sweet tea!!! with lemons!

Wow - last nights video with Beth Moore was just incredible! We discussed how there is a heavenly war going on far greater than anything we could imagine or experience here. I learned that Israel has their own angelic prince named Michael. We learned about evil angels called demons. We even learned how Michael got held up on his way to revealing a message to Daniel. Isn't that wild - he got held up. I just never thought of an angel getting held up and not able to do its job... neat - it was awesome!

But this morning we talked about timing. Oh Lord, Your timing is always perfect, but honestly at times not at all like i was expecting! It was the first and third year that Daniel received his visions during both Belshazzar and Darius reigns. It was during both reigns when Daniel was far from home and even in the final reign while he was alive the Jews were decreed to go back to their homeland, Jerusalem - this is the Esther occurrence! But it was during these times that God revealed big things and himself to Daniel while he was not in the comforts of his home or even homeland! Beth went on and on about God taking us different places to do great things. Getting us out of comfort zones to reveal His plans or Himself like no other time. He has done this for me one very memorable time when i was in Jr. High. I was at an Al Denson concert and God very clearly spoke (impressed on my heart) to me that i would speak some day. It was as clear as a bell. I had just moved back to Texas, hurting because my friends had moved on, missing my dad something terrible as mom and i were living by ourselves as my dad finished out his job in New York, and at a very weird stage of life - all my friends were developed into women and my body was still waiting - and just happened to have my complete mouth and chin covered in fever blisters. Not a good way to look at "camp" when you are wanting to meet a boy. I was not at home, very lonely, and confused about what God was doing in our lives. It was then, completely needing a word, empty of myself and empty of all teenage wants that God reached down and spoke to me. "I will use you and you will speak." It tears me up even now as i see His provisions. My heart is leaping for joy, Jesus Joy, because i know He has never let me down. He can't!

Lord this is why i can not help but be excited for this move coming up. You have always been there and always will. I have no way to believe anything else. I know there will be some tough days - i just had one of those 2 days ago in Charlotte. But yesterday you took away my tears and gave me reason to shine and hold my chin up. My sadness had nothing to do with moving, it was all complete selfishness and feeling left out. I had gotten word that I was not used for a conference that i so wanted to be part of and i also got a letter from a agency saying i was not their caliber speaker to represent. One can not always get yes's, but the no's hurt and are no fun. So i begin thinking - poor pitiful me, i am never included, i will never get anywhere, i have no coattails to ride on, i will never have that lucky break,............................ Do you see my problem - "I".

So yesterday after noon a husband of a prominent speaker/singer in Nashville called me and said some really great things. He was not able to talk long as he and his wife were headed out the door to do a Christian cruise. Now would that be cool or what... Anyway - he and his wife had seen my website, heard my tape, and wanted to know if he could represent me - he said, "you got it". I do not say all that to toot my horn, but to drive home the point of His timing is not ours and sometimes He has to take us away to reveal His ways, plan, and time!! I was at a low point, where He may very well have needed me, and then blessed my socks off. This guy may never get me a "gig", but his words were the encouragement straight from Jesus, i believe!

He is taking me away from my home - the place i have lived the longest in my life - 11 years. But then again, do i have a home??? (People always ask where i am from and i never know how to answer that. I mostly answer i am homeless, ha ha!) Change will be great, i mean lots of change, but I am ready. We are going to Clay's home, but not mine. It will become home as all the other places i have lived, i am sure. So Lord Jesus, i am ready for You to reveal something about Yourself or some things to me - whichever Your prefer. I am waiting and watching! Bless Your holy Name - the one i place all my trust in! I love you!

1 comment:

Sting My Heart said...

Sometimes we just have to take the nos in order to get much bigger YES from Him. So many times I was sad because I prayed for something, but He said no to my prayer. But when I look back at the times He said yes - to put in your words "He blessed my socks off"...
"I can do everything through him who strengthens me" ~ Phil 4:13