300 - When Did the Road Curve?

Lord Jesus - I am reading in II Samuel 11 today. It is the famous story of David and Bathsheba. First of all, what if our faults were in the most famously printed book of all time? I think I might rethink some of the decisions I make today if that were going to happen. I know You Lord wish I would rethink some decisions because You are watching 24/7. Oh Lord, help me. Help to love you more, serve you more, and live righteously.

So how did everything go so wrong? I think I have asked this before, did David quit having his quiet time? Did David get overly proud and think he was invincible? What happened? We were riding along so well and then boom - he got this hair brained idea that he needed, wanted, and had to have this particular woman. But I don't really think the issue here is about a woman, I mean the lesson for me to learn.

David had an issue with women, that is not a surprise. He had many women from the time he could have women. He was a man of more than one wife and knew better. He had many surrounding him to show him what was correct and not, but he persisted to do that particular sin. The issue i see so often in my life and in others at times is boxing in God and boxing in our relationship with Him. Women by nature are not compartmentalizers. We let a fight at work dictate our attitude at home and then because of that fight we think that the grocery store people know and now they are an enemy as well. One little thing spills over into every area of our lives - irrational. I see men a bit different. They have trouble fishing, that stays in the boat. They have trouble with a car then that stays in the car. They have business trouble then that stays at work. They have fight with you, they do not bring up fights from 4 years back. Now all of that is a bit of an exaggeration, but men kind of compartmentalize their lives when we as women let everything spill over into everything. Why, I don't know, just the way we are.

I am learning in my walk with the Lord that I can not box Him up and I must keep living in a spill over kind of life. If i am a believer then I have to take it with me in every area of my life. Is that possibly what David could have done? I can hear him saying, "Lord, you can have control over my kingdom, my money, my foreign affairs, my people, my safety, my ....................., but when comes to my personal life and in whom I am going to get "close" to, I will handle that part." Basically even if it just one area of our lives, it too is living a double life. That is exactly what Satan is waiting for. He is waiting until we take an area of our lives and keep it under "our" control. Then that is when he easily steps in and sets up a destroy. Most importantly, we cannot expect to be growing Christians, ones that live a spill over life, and not meet with Him consistently. An area in self-control and no quiet time is a perfect concoction for major fall or disaster.

Lord, where are my issues? Where do you see this in my life? Please reveal. I know most of the time "I" will take care of my weight or that is not an area that I think i have to be spiritual in. There are some people that I am less bold with. When it comes to shopping day I rarely ask Him to guide me and keep me aware of when He says No. There are times I might go into Wal-mart or something and just think that I don't have to smile or speak to anyone. I can turn off my spiritual walk and just go about my way. Lord, Holy Father - forgive me. I must take You everywhere I go. I must take You into every area of my life and listen to You as I am walking through life - in everything! Forgive of those times that You set up an opportunity for me to speak to someone, bless their lives, give encouragement, boldly proclaim who You are in my life, and yet I said no. I said no, I don't think I will be spiritual right now. I don't think I will take You into that situation right then. Oh Lord, forgive me.

Lord, I am so scared that my life could be such as David and I could go hairy. I know I am not above it. Lord, spill over into every area of my life, let there be no secrets, and keep me on the straight and narrow. Oh Lord, protect me from me! Jesus, guard my mouth and protect me from the words that spill out without thought. Lord, bring more accountability into my life so that my striving for more of You is always in check. Oh Lord - please please please bring me a mentor.

284 - Who Am I?

Dear Lord Jesus - good morning. Oh Lord, we are able to sleep with the windows down now that whatever it is was has stopped blooming that was killing my eyes and nose. I was actually awakened by the birds singing instead of my alarm. I love that. There must be one million birds singing praises to You today. There was a light rain last night and so I know Mr. Worm and his friends have come up to play too only to be snatched away by all the pregnant momma birds. Your creation is so wonderful and awesome. I know that when i forget to praise You or chirp for joy, your creation will make sure and bless you. Praise You Father - thank you for today.

Yesterday I had the neatest conversation with Andrea as we ran around and around the track, BUT in the wonderful sunshine. She recently told me all about her weight lose story and one she is still living and working through. It was incredible how you have worked through her life and she too is singing Your praises. She gave all the glory to You - it was quite inspirational and just such a God thing since my quiet time that very morning had been about accountability. I don't know if there was a spot light shining over us like on the show Touch by and Angel when the angel would speak a word from the Lord, but i felt like her words were coming straight from You Lord and words that I needed to heed and learn from. Thank you.

This morning I find myself in 2 Samuel 7:18-29. This is the prayer David spoke after getting the news from Nathan that he would not build the temple, but his offspring would and that he would enjoy a bit of peace after so much fighting and war. Well, maybe not peace as in no struggles to protect his people, but that God would keep his victories many more than his loses.

The first thing i see in this prayer is such a nugget to sit on all day. David has been told "no, but......". Instead of concentrating on the no and being upset with that answer, David is praising for all God has done in his life thus far and for all that He is going to do. This is a big no, yet David accepts it and goes on. He does not take a day to sit and mourn and pout!! No is the answer and it is still time to praise. Oh how i need to let that soak in. I was told yesterday from a church that they had decided to go with another speaker. At first I wanted to and did get sad and a bit discouraged. But even before this devotion, I felt the Spirit say to me, "Get your head up and be thankful for what I have given you thus far and what I have in store for you." Oh thank you Lord. Thank you that you speak to me, but thank you for Your Spirit and such kind gentleness. Lord, I just love you!!!

This prayer is much of what my heart screams out. I have a whole message entitled "Who Am I". It talks about wondering Who Am I that God would look my way with blessings and favor. Who Am I that He would allow me to be on such an incredible journey with Him. Who Am I that He would allow me to be His servant and speak His messages. The blessings were so immense for David - another nugget to sit on. David had been running for his life for a long time - i don't mean just lying low and not doing ministering events and stuff. He was running for his life, fighting wars, living in secret, - not any way a king would have to behave. But here we see David just singing praises and again not concentrating on the terrible past. I love verse 20 when he even refers to himself in 3rd person, "What more can David say to you". It is kind of like David having an out of body experience and can not even believe he is the one so blessed. He has to talk to himself, but in third person. I wonder if he had puppets on his fingers - ha ha!

David makes it very clear that he knows all this blessing and success is for God's glory - "so that your name will be great forever". Oh Lord, how blessed I feel. No matter what has happened in my life I feel a ton of blessing and favor from You. It is because of You that I get to minister at even one more church. If it all stopped today i certainly could still shout out a huge thank you and praise you. You are absolutely incredible. I want to make Your name famous and Your name to be great in the little things You have ordained for me to do. I don't mean they are insignificant, but you know who you are dealing with. Lord, I am astonished by the opportunities You have put in front of me to take part in. Like i said before, You know who you are dealing with. but You still do things through me and in me - in spite of me!!!! Now that is reason to shout!! Thank you Lord. I praise you and stand in honor of you.

"Your servant has found courage to offer this prayer" - verse 27b. and then David goes on to say with confidence asking the Lord to not stop the blessing and goodness. Oh Lord, I pray the same. Even though You do know who and what you are dealing with, I pray You continue to flow the blessing and favor. I am humbled by You goodness and mercy. May more and more opportunities come my way to bless You and give You honor and praise. May Yyou be praised in my house and my kids lift you on high. Thank you thank you thank you!!! Who Am I?

283 -

Dear Lord, Can I ever thank you and praise you enough? - no, I never could do what You are even close to receiving. Lord, I love you with all my heart and yet i know all my heart is still not enough or what you deserve. I love with all my actions - now that would not be the truth either. Oh Lord, take your servant and make me more like you. Allow the words of my mouth to be truth and honorable to you. I want my actions to line up with the way my heart really WANTS to be and not the way it really is. After all we, I, do live the way our heart is believing. I may say I love you, but my actions will be the tell all sign of my hearts condition - whether I really do believe.

This morning I looked at 2 Samuel 7:17 - this was a simple scripture implying that David was accountable to Nathan and Nathan to David. Accountability is one of those things that I long for. I have various people in my life that do keep me accountable to various things. I am thankful for that. The best accountability partner i ever had was Melissa G. She would call me on something in a minute. It may hurt my feelings, but I knew she loved me and wanted the best for me. Rarely I might see something in her life as well and the true test of accountability was in the receiving. She always received it well and usually said, "You are right!". A few times she would explain to me what she really meant or what her motive was or whatever the case may be - how i misunderstood something - and it was never defensive or proud. She was an excellent example to me in how to receive correction and how to gently give accountability.

Courtney and Alisha, the girls i run with everyday - Oh yeah, i did not lose any weight again, ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - offer wonderful accountability as well. You know when you run for 35-45 minutes, you have a lot of time to discuss things. So they are very honest with me and hopefully i am with them too. Accountability can be tough, but I think it is a must in every one's life. My friend Dawn has a way of offering great accountability and she never has to say a word. Her actions remind you to parent gently, speak kindly, and consider others first. When you think about it in that way, almost everyone I know on any level offers accountability, but the kicker is whether you receive it and in what manner.

We are going to see in a just a few days how our man David receives accountability from Nathan. Nathan gets the privilege of calling David out on his Bathsheba escapade. Can you imagine having to tell the king, the one that cut your head off, that you know he has done major wrong and needs to get it right? Wow oh wow - being a totally non-confrontational kind of gal, that makes me sweat just sitting here. Lord, we are not perfect, not even close, and accountability is something that You can use another to speak to us, to keep us in line, and to deliver Your messages. May I be big enough to take correction, to accept responsibility for my actions, and release all pride when i have "been found out". Lord, may i have the guts to speak out in a loving manner to those in my life that grant me a right to speak to their hearts.

Lord, guide Clay and I. As the kids are getting older and more involved it is harder and harder to find time for just us. Even last night as we sat down to just veg out and watch some news, Elleigh came running out there because she just couldn't sleep. So after tending to her for a few minutes i was ready to retire myself.

Lord, please tell me what to do in these areas....

1) Bible study this summer, Believing God - where, when, how, etc......

2) Saturday Night Sunday School with young marrieds - give us a specific date to start.

3) Would evening aerobics ever fly here?

Direction, accountability, guidance, mentoring - I need it all - I need You!!