Learn to Acclaim? Huh?

Oh Lord, Your Word has not left me empty this morning!  Thank You!

So many times my kids will ask, "Mom, when will I be able to pray like you and daddy?  When will I be able to shout out praises to the Lord and not feel weird about it?  When will this relationship of talking to the Lord not feel so weird?"

I understand their asking and actually appreciate their honesty.  I love their desire to grow and pray often this passion never leaves them - even though it looks very different in my older kids - appears invisible at times.  (I have had to really learn to be patient with that.  A wise friend told me you can not force a rose open before its time.)


¹⁵ Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,
   who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD.  Ps. 89:15


I was directed to this Word from my Jesus Calling devotion this morning and really sat on it until the Lord spoke this over me; 


A relationship with ME is a learned thing.  It does not come naturally.  We have to work on it.  We see in Ephesians that Paul encourages us to "workout" our salvation.  That does not mean work for our salvation.  That means give it a workout like I gave my shoulders a workout yesterday.  UGH!  


We see the same thing here in this particular Psalm.  Do you see it - "Blessed are those that HAVE LEARNED to acclaim you".  There seems to be a learning process and possibly a learning curve.  


Notice at the end of the this verse it explains how learning to acclaim - applause, proclaim with enthusiastic approval (dictionary.com) - we have to walk in the light - consistently and habitually some translations said.  


Learning our relationship with Christ, learning to talk with Him, and learning for it to be more natural, will not come natural.  We have to work on this daily and that requires us praying, praising, and yes, reading.  It will come, you will learn, but you have to do IT - and it will look different for many of us. 


Lord, thank you!!!  Thank you for your patience as I learn to acclaim you!  Thank you for your teaching Word and the passion You have placed inside of me to push through the weirdness I had so long ago.  May all those who read this push through as well.  You are so worth it My Lord!!  I love You!   


Emmajoy sings in the talent show at 6 tonight.  and also for the whole student body today as well.  She is excited!  I am scared!  ha  Tucker's team has won all their games this week.  Won the conference last night!!!  Yeah!  SJ and EL are cheering their little hearts out!!!  Things are good.  

913 - It's a fear - probably my worst one!

Do you have any fears?  I don't really feel like I have a lot of fears, but there is one that I wrestle with a ton!  What if my kids grow up and do not love the Lord???  This is a nightmare to me!

I don't really know where to go with my words, but there is a part of me that needed to get this out.  Getting it out is how I cope, it is how I adjust, and it is my own personal process of thinking through a situation.  Because I really believe that keeping it in and not at least expressing my fear, even if it is sin, is Satan's plan to destroy my joy, peace, and faith.

I love the Lord, I really do.  This is not a fake thing for me, this is not just a good idea, this is not just something that I saw in my parents and so I am gonna live this way too.  It is my life.  I think about the Lord ALL. THE. TIME.  I don't say anything of that to be boastful, but to just explain who HE has made me to be.  I love the Lord.

I have many, many benefits of serving the Lord.  I have grown to love Him from a very young age.  I have seen countless friends and strangers take a different road and there are so many consequences to pay, but the worst may be the miserable life they live until on the straight and narrow.  This is what I fear the most for my kids!!

I so desire for my kids to get it right the first time.  I don't want them to go down the path of testing to any degree if at all possible.  But I must be realistic.  Not realistic that the testing must occur - it doesn't have to, I am living proof - but I will be realistic about their relationship with the Lord.  It must be their own.  Please do not hear that I think I was perfect - far from it.  I may have been the worst because all my sin was private and the Lord had to break me to solidify our relationship.  It was equally painful!

And this is where I am stuck and get a bit overwhelmed.  How do I get out of the way so that their walk with the Lord is their own and not something they are copying from me, faking for my benefit, or just riding on mine and Clay's coattails?  It happens often and I personally think more times than not!

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.  

The only part that I am a little disappointed in with that verse - I am not sure I am allowed to say I am disappointed in a verse, obviously I don't quite have the faith - "when he is old he will not depart from it".  OH NO - does this mean that my kids have to be old before they come back to what they have been taught?  LORD, I want them to get it now!!!  I want them to digest it now!!

Do I think that my kids are going to be missionaries, preachers, speakers - all things of Him or for Him?  NO!!!!!  Ministry is really hard, possibly hardest on the family!  I am fully aware that my kids may be the wildest in the town.  I am fully aware they are not prefect.  I am fully aware that they are making big mistakes even now at their young ages.  I am fully aware that while my walk is such theirs may be the direct opposite at this time and days to come.

But this all goes back to...........their relationship with the Lord must be their own!

Oh Lord, keep me on my knees for them!  Keep me pressing into the Word so that I can reflect you in a loving way and not harsh.  Lord, Jesus, make yourself real to them so that they know You for who You really are in their lives.  Oh God, protect them from the evil one.  Make them kids that stand up for things that are right and of you!  God, give them a heart that longs to know You.  May you give me the answers to their questions!  May Your love abound in our home!!  Oh Jesus BE REAL to them!!

567 - Protect His Name

Dear Lord, I am desperately looking for a scripture in the Book of Revelation and am completely stumped. It has to do with the verse that proclaims the Name of God that no ear has ever heard because that name will never be taken in vain. It is a secret name that only God has for himself. I do recall it being in Revelation, but have looked until my fingers are raw - ha ha! Can anyone help on this one? Here is the deal...

Each night - well 4 of the 7 - I take one of the kids and pray individually with them. It is very special because they will tell me things really on their minds - sometimes i had rather not know. Oh well! Pretty consistently Emmajoy prays that the kids in her school will quit taking the Lord's name in vain. It really, really, really bothers her so much as to bring it up quite often. Her prayer is so sweet as well. "Lord, please help me to help my friends quit taking your name in vain. Lord, forgive us." I like that she includes "us". I have encourage her by explaining about the name of God that no one knows, but would like to show her in Scripture - teaching her to trust the Word even more.

Emmajoy is my "tenderheart" - remember the Care Bears? She is just like that and must get it from her Daddy. I am not so much that way. Even her skin is so soft - just through and through she is a sweet girl. I do know it could all change, but I hope and pray not. Course having such a sweet and soft spirit can really set her up for a crushed heart as well. Every day she tells me what this little guy at school named Drew says to her. I mean he can just brush up against her or even make a funny face and she is set to marry him the next day. It is sweet as well, but I do recognize her tenderness and vulnerability. As Clay and Emmajoy were driving down the road the other day she proclaimed from the back seat, "Daddy I am saving myself for marriage!" As Clay nearly swerved into the next car his head was spinning out of control and eyes rolling back in sheer panic - where did she hear this and how does she know to save herself????? - he finally pulled it all together. I think Emmajoy sensed his loss of control and said, "Yeah, Daddy, I am not going to kiss anyone until I get married. I am saving myself for my husband the way Ms. Holly (our precious babysitter in Charlotte) did for her husband. Clay sighed and kept driving probably thinking - yeah right... good luck!!

I have not done anything different with Emmajoy than I have any of the other kids, but she really does want to know more about the Lord and as of right now protect His name. She is a song writer and if you promise not to tell anyone - or at least Emmajoy - I want to indulge you for a moment. (There will not be too many more years that i can actually type somethign liek this out for the WWW. Before I know it they will be on the computer too and able to read my blog and their friends read it too. yikes!!!) This is a song she wrote after school yesterday and of course after she had finished her studies... where did this kids come from? (Yes, I do think all the others are this cool in their own way, but today is Emmajoy's day.) Bear with me and please pray for this tenderheart! I am not sure where one sentence starts and another begins - she is in 2nd grade...

On the dark days when people thought they knew who i was - when they didn't even know my name - and they told me that I can't do anything - but when your blue skies come out they help me believe that i can do all things through Christ. People think that i am crazy to sit on the porch and hide my broken heart, people stare and people whisper making me cry and then its not hid anymore. But when your blue skies come out they help me believe that i can do all things through Christ. God called me to pray for everyone even though they're bad to me and hopefully they will change. But when your blue skies come out I know I can do all things through Christ.........................

I am sure there is more, but she fell asleep!

So if you can help me find that verse to share with my tenderheart I would greatly appreciate it. I was reminded in my own devotional this morning in Luke when Gabriel proclaimed the name of God for the first time to Mary. "you will give birth to a son and you will call him Jesus..." Luke 1:31. It was precious then, but has been so abused ever since. Why do people feel like that is a name they can abused. Why not David or Sally or Leigh or whatever. Why is it Jesus or any other name for our Lord? Because even those that don't know know there is power in that name - so much so that they will use it terribly to make a strong point... Oh Jesus, as Emmajoy reminds me - Forgive US!! I love you, Lord!!! Help me to protect Your Name.

430 - Laying face down in awe!

Oh Lord, my body is so sore that even typing is hard!! We have done 2 days of lunges and just plain old hard work at aerobics and I can barely sit down and type this. My toosh is so tender to anything!! Anyway..................... too much information, i guess!!

I need to thank you for the wonderful victory yesterday. I set out to do my family good in cooking, i set out to be a merchant ship, i set out to bless them with a great dinner and IT WORKED!!! Oh thank you Lord, thank you! I prepared early to have crock pot steak and mash potatoes, fruit, and veggies - it came all together and the kids ate like crazy. Now I just wish Clay had been here to indulge too. He is always so good at eating a ton even when he probably had rather not. Thank you Lord for your visible encouragement! Tonight will be a bit different because we have Tucker's baseball practice and a fall festival to attend. Our church things don't start until next week!

Lord Jesus - I am really at a loss for words today. I have my verse in Proverbs that i have dissected - verse 16 - but am just wanting to sit before you today and praise. My radio is on the background and I just want to praise. You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song!! Oh Lord you are so good to me. You heal my broken heart. You are my Father in Heaven! You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song!! That is what you are!!! Oh Lord, I just love you and am in love with you. You are doing so many things around me and I just can hardly take it all in. I see you in everything and want to be part of what you have going on. I love the most that I see a revival going on in my church and it is outstanding! Lord, your blessings are almost too much!

I would never ask you to stop, but why is it that you continue! Lord, why have you done so much for me! I just sit back take a huge deep breath like David in 1 Samuel - why would you be so good tome. I mean it with all my heart and YOU know my heart - I do not deserve any of this! I am not even talking about visible blessings, I mean the peace and joy you have placed in my heart. Just the joy of knowing you and walking with you daily. Lord, why, why would you commune with me daily, second by second! Oh Lord, it is overwhelming! I can hardly stand it!! But at the same time I want to be closer and closer! Draw me in Lord. I want to feel your breath!

Oh Lord, have your way! Do your thing - show me your glory more and more! Show off and have full reign in my life. I love you my Savior and am so unworthy! I just can hardly stand it! Sing your songs over me and may I praise you forever!!! My Savior, my King, My Lord, my Jesus, my Everything, my strength, my comforter, my lover of my soul, my fortress!!!!!!!!!!!! You are it!!! Thank you Lord - thank you!!! I just don't know why you do it!! thank you! I just want to lay face down in awe today - that is it!

344 - Worthy is the Lamb

This is one of my favorite praise songs EVER! (If anyone from my church reads this, don't you know our piano player could belt this out so beautifully!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to figure out her name.)

This morning I found myself in Jer. 33:22 - "I will make the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who minister before me as countless as the stars of the sky and as measureless as the sand on the seashore.' " My current devotion on David ended with the promise of more to come. Jesus - He is more than enough. Oh Lord, if i am honest I get myself into such a pickle of feelings because I don't understand nor comprehend your majesty or holiness or awesomeness. I am so excited to worship you forever, be in your presence, bow before the throne and meet everyone else in heaven, but then I struggle with all the things yet I have not done here on Earth. Like being a Grandma, seeing the kids get married and grown, living old and gray with Clay, seeing what else God's has for me in ministry, etc... I guess that is the flesh and not truly understanding how menial those things are compared to His greatness and sitting at the throne!

This verse this morning is a promise. It is promise of more Kings that the Lord anoints and appoints will sit on the throne and THE King is coming to be the final ruler. Can you imagine that?? Lord Jesus, how different the world will be when you are sitting in Jerusalem. Oh how different I will be. Worthy is the Lamb. High and lifted up - the Darling of Heaven!! Oh Lord, allow me to grasp just a small part of your holiness and specialness. Allow my heart to overflow with the Joy of Jesus and serving you. Allow me to more often turn from my sin and give all back to you. Allow me to not think so much of my needs, but think of what You might want from me. Oh Lord, let me fall in love with you!!

One thing I need to remember is that You are still sitting on the throne in heaven. When there are things I am going through - it is not a surprise to You. You are well aware and full aware! Oh Father I have a situation in my life where I need big time wisdom and patience. I don't know how to react and I am not sure what to do. I need wisdom and wise counsel. I don't need to make mistakes in this situation, and need to follow You will. Oh Lord, help me. Nevertheless You reign and You are holy, trustworthy and WORTH - Worthy is the Lamb. Still deserving of all my praise and adoration!! You are it and I want to know more of you!! I love you!

Today is my church's free Memorial Day Celebration. It is going to be great - as long as the rain holds off. Oh please Lord, just a few hours. Going to be rides, tons of food, face painting - all kinds of things. A band, music, etc!!!!!!!!!!!!! and all free!! Starts at noon - come on down!

I got all my Believing God studies on Saturday. I am sooooooooo excited. Going to be great! If you still want to come and have not told me - come on. 8pm on Thursday, mi casa!

Jesus - thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for your righteousness. thank you for your perfectness. thank you for everything. Worthy is the Lamb. Help my concerned heart!

206 - Light Breaking Thru

Wow - what a day yesterday. I took the big kids to their last day of school at HGBCS. It was a great day, full of parties and surprises, but still very hard. The hardest part was hugging Gingee good-bye again!! We all shed tears this time! Then i took Tucker to say good-bye to Roger in the FLC and that was really hard too.

We got out of school early and ran some errands. About the time we got home and settled into packing more boxes the phone rang and we needed to go pick up Jackson to come over and play. As we were driving back up to the house my phone rang and someone was outside the house to see everything. OH my word - the house was a pig sty just because of all the packing. So i quickly picked up - yeah right - and moved the kids out the door to go to our park. As we were coming back the phone rang again for the house to be shown again!!!! Yee-haw!!!!!!! Seriously i was excited to show the house 2 times, but it still needed a good once over! This time I had 30 minutes. At least i got some good smells waifing throughout! Oh Jesus - please give us an offer we can work with. Even if it something we can not work with that would be encouraging. I am still believing and praying and waiting in expectation.

Today we have a dentist appointment and then the search for more boxes............... Then Tisha is bringing over some pizza for us. Yeah!! How sweet.

Oh yeah - as we drove up yesterday to get out of the car at the house we noticed the front gate was open. There were no signs of Maye Maye. She was gone, her dog house was gone, there were no traces of her anywhere. A robber must have come in a gotten and taken her away. That is my story and I am sticken to it. The kids now want a cat. It is amazing how quickly they can move onto to another "love". We will miss Maye Maye.

Last night our relatively new neighbors had me and the kids over for ice cream. It was awesome - Clay is out of town. The kids were great. Their house is quite a museum so that made me a little uneasy with SJ. She has been over there to visit so often that she knows the house like her own. It was gorgeous. She would just disappear and Mr. Jack seem to know where to find her. He got out the trombone for the kids to play - we just had a blast. We never left the kitchen table - i just love that. Mr. Jack and we call her Mrs. Jack, even though her name is Judy, have a wonderful philosophy of life. He said they want to look back at the end and be able to say - I want to do that all over again. So every day is a gift and they are going to live it to the fullest. These are people that lost everything in Katrina! Beautiful historic home, teaching career at Tulane - everything. The would have never moved from New Orleans!!!!!!!! Never!! I am going to miss them terribly. Great people and it has been a blessing to know them just this long. My kids have certainly benefited as well.

So after that long recap - I have gotten into Hosea already this morning. Hosea 10 has some light breaking through the horrible past. Verse 11 states that the Lord will take hold of Israel once again and make them do as they are suppose to. I love that. Knowing that God will at one point take me and MAKE me do the right thing - oh please, do it every day. I think i could live much better as a puppet than person. But praise You for your grace and mercy, You allow us to be real and alive and living! Verse 12 you implore the people to sow righteousness and reap fruit. The encouraging thing about that verse is that there has to be fertile ground before something can grow or be sown. So the potential is there - He sees potential in all of us. He can all grow some righteousness - Lord, do it in me.

The last part of the verse that really speaks volumes to me is the part that says "break up your unploughed ground for it is time to seek the Lord." What part of my heart is hard and unploughed? What part of my heart needs to be worked over and made useful? What part of my life needs a gardeners hand to make a turn around? Lord, show me. I am so very open to Your ways and Your convictions and Your working in my life. I want to be a fertile ground You can use. Do whatever You need to do to make that happen. Lord, with all my heart, if You never allowed me to do another thing in ministry again - it would really be hard, but i could accept that. I turn all my wants, dreams, expectations, etc. over to You. I want to do things Your way even if that means an end to what i know now. Only You know. I don't feel like an end is coming, but that You are asking me to be accepting of that. Yes, but yes it would be hard. I love ministry.

About 9 months ago i went into a holding pattern in ministry. I was not networking and marketing as i had done before. Lord, You brought me all kinds of opportunities. I loved every minute of it, but I missed doing what i feel like i am best at as far as the business side of things. Now i am at the end of that commitment. I am ready to begin again and see even more things You can do. I have a commitment for the money to become a non-profit, Praise the Lord, I have met with an accountant to get the business side of it, and have contacted a lawyer to see what is next... I need Your peace to continue on. Lead me Lord, guide me, and give me great vision and clarity. I am ready, but am I ready? Make me ready. I am ready to follow. I love you. May You light begin to Break Thru!

THank You for hearing me

Lord, this morning I come to You with not much on my mind. Days are getting closer and closer until the movers come. It is still really hard to know what i need to pack, can go ahead and pack, and what must wait. Clay gets home tonight from Michigan - Elleigh has been really sad without her daddy this time. All 3 of the girls have been invited to sleep over at Chloe and Gracie's. Elleigh is the most excited because i really think she understands that she was only invited because of the sissies. I have been threatening the other girls with not being able to go if they don't straighten up, but they know there is no way on earth i would not let them go! No way!

On Wednesday a bunch of us got together again for one last lunch. It was a ton of fun. It was a group called my old main campus friends. Jen, Faith, Toni, etc. Most of them had been in our SS class at one time! There are still a few people i want to make some kind of effort to see before i leave. One lady i would love to send some flowers. She has always been a big prayer warrior of mine and I would like to appreciate her that way. I think she would love it! I have been so blessed with friends here. 11 years is a long time to invest and be invested in. This time has been priceless.

I spoke yesterday to a group in Concord. I had been to that church 3 years in a row. They are so wonderful and so supportive of me. It was a pleasure seeing them and then saying good-bye. Lord, i hope they are successful in getting an evening Mops going. That will be so great for all those that work! We talked about jealously - Mary, Mary, why you bugging? was the name of the topic. Specifically when Mary came to Elizabeth to share the good news of her carrying the Christ. Elizabeth was not jealous and was so excited to be graced by Mary's presence. It is awesome for women to act that way. It doesn't happen too often!

I have had to hire a new web-guy. Mine got a full-time job and then has bigger projects he had rather work. Things were not getting done as fast i would like so i got another person. Hopefully it will be a different story. They are called Swankwebdesign.com or something like that. I have really enjoyed what they have done! I get my books printed at a huge printing company and they have never made me feel like i was too small of business to them. They are really great. I have been buying tons of jewelry bracelets, getting books printed, etc. For 2 reasons - get things for this year tax write-offs and because i don't know my availability of things over there.

Lord Jesus, would you please give me more speaking opportunities? There is a church in Shelbyville, Il. that is considering me. That is really exciting since i have only been on that website as "traveling from Il." for a few weeks. I am asking that you give me 10 events for next year. I know that is not near what i usually do, but i really mean weekend kind of events - through the other agencies that represent me. I will do my part and generate my own events through my own networking - of course with your approval. But will you open opportunities with other places... I know You can, I believe, but will You?

I am going to go out on a limb in fear of being viewed wrongly. I got an e-mail the other day from World Vision offering a Chris Tomlin CD if you would donate $20 to the ministry. Well, like in a heart beat. Donate to a great cause and get something like that from him. Absolutely! I would love for someone to be able to use my name so simply like that to help out thousands. Not to make my name famous, but if it already at a level that would just bring in money to help in a cause like that - then yeah, i would love to do that. I have often thought how much Beth Moore or other famous ministers could advance the "lower" ministries if they would do fundraising events for them. Just one night events and of course pay them for their time. A person like Beth More could help bring in in thousands to a women's ministry that could help secure them for months and possibly the year. Just having her speak, the women would flock and would pay a great deal to get to hear her even once - with or without dinner. But i understand - she does it for one she would feel obligated to do it for all. And she would have to know so much about the ministry in which she is "supporting". I know, I know, I am in dream land, but i really think it would be great!

Well, you guessed it, ELleigh is a wake and right beside me. Goodness. She is a sweet girl, but let me remind you she is 3. I don't particularly care for 3 year olds. Ha! Direct my path today, Lord Jesus. What is in store for today? I love you!

He answers, but Still Waiting

Good Morning Jesus! I got up this morning and took the time to go and visit the streets. It was a beautiful morning as You are already parting the skies to allow sunshine in today. The last couple of mornings i have turned my running into a really fast walk. I have really enjoyed myself and seem to get out of the bed a bit easier knowing i am not going to have to run. Maybe i am not meant to be a runner. I know running works so many more calories, at least i think it does, but i enjoy walking so much more. I am able to still sing to my music and not get too filthy sweaty! I think i have a "you're an athlete, you must run" kind of mentality to get over.

Yesterday was a bummer day. There were things in my mind that i could not take captive. My thoughts were getting the best of me and it was all very selfish. I was having one of those jealous kinds of days and just not being thankful for one single thing in my life. I was upset because i had gotten on the scale to begin with. I think that can ruin any person's day no matter how big or small you are when you have gained a few. Halloween was not good for me and then traveling to Illinois and eating all the Gray's food. I told them we can not eat like that very often. I did find out that the town chiropractor just opened a small gym with state of the art equipment. But here is the neat thing... when you become a member you just get a key to the place to workout whenever you want. To keep costs down he didn't want to hire someone to be there all the time, so everyone just gets their own key - how cool is that! Thank you Lord, i feel like that is a gift just for me - for such a time as this! Thank you!

I am coming close to an end in my Daniel study. We will begin week 10 tonight. I have really enjoyed my time, and wonder what i will do next. I heard she is now coming out with an Esther study - i could just scream, I LOVE the Esther story!!!! Courage, faith, love, commitment, contentment, boldness, etc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daniel 9:23 - As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given.

This morning Lord we were studying about how in some way You do answer all of our prayers of course in Your own time. So while i am thinking i am still waiting for answers, they are already given, i just have to wait for them to be exposed - that includes a "NO"! But for me the most compelling idea this morning is that we have to make our requests known. We can not just assume, even though of course He does, that God knows what we want. He wants to hear me make my requests known. He wants me to verbalize them. He wants to hear the faith in my voice as compared in my heart, possibly! Sometimes i have to speak it out loud so that my heart will believe! Lord, i praise you and I love you! I am excited for this day because You are everything. Help me to believe and wait and ask and then believe some more! I love you!